Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Loss for Words

The next debate is next Wednesday and the next primary is the Tuesday after that.  Neither the Republican candidates, President Obama, or Capitol Hill are doing anything to inspire me to write anything.  Vanna White’s birthday isn’t until Saturday.  I will have my daughter Patricia from Sunday until the following Saturday.

I do want to mention about voting.  There seems to have been a lot of odd things happening with caucuses and primaries thus far.  If your state hasn’t had their primary or caucus yet and you can spare some time on your primary or caucus night, then find out where you can go to watch the votes being counted or to count the votes yourself.

The New York  Times reported yesterday that 1.8 million dead people are registered to vote.  My campaigning to cemeteries and morgues has been paying off.  This will give me a much needed head start come the general election.  If my message can resonate with voters who are alive like it has with the deceased, then there’s no reason why I can’t expect to not just win, but win every state and sweep the Electoral College.

February 15, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , | 4 Comments

New Experiment

Below is the list for the primaries and caucuses after today’s in South Carolina:

January 31, 2012 Florida (primary)
February 4, 2012 Nevada (caucus)
February 4–11, 2012 Maine (caucus)
February 7, 2012 Colorado (caucus)
Minnesota (caucus)
Missouri (primary)
February 28, 2012 Arizona (primary)
Michigan (primary)
March 3, 2012 Washington (caucus)
March 6, 2012
(Super Tuesday)
Alaska (caucus)
Georgia (primary)
Idaho (caucus)
Massachusetts (primary)
North Dakota (caucus)
Ohio (primary)
Oklahoma (primary)
Tennessee (primary)
Vermont (primary)
Virginia (primary)
March 6-10, 2012 Wyoming (caucus)
March 10, 2012 Kansas (caucus)
U.S. Virgin Islands (caucus)
March 13, 2012 Alabama (primary)
Hawaii (caucus)
Mississippi (primary)
March 17, 2012 Missouri (GOP caucus)
March 18, 2012 Puerto Rico (primary)
March 20, 2012 Illinois (primary)
March 24, 2012 Louisiana (primary)
April 3, 2012 District of Columbia (primary)
Maryland (primary)
Wisconsin (primary)
Texas (primary)
April 24, 2012 Connecticut (primary)
Delaware (primary)
New York (primary)
Pennsylvania (primary)
Rhode Island (primary)
May 8, 2012 Indiana (primary)
North Carolina (primary)
West Virginia (primary)
May 15, 2012 Nebraska (primary)
Oregon (primary)
May 22, 2012 Arkansas (primary)
Kentucky (primary)
June 5, 2012 California (primary)
Montana (primary)
New Jersey (primary)
New Mexico (primary)
South Dakota (primary)
June 26, 2012 Utah (primary)

I am not sure if my plan will work in caucuses, but my plan will in primaries and it will for the general election.  This innovative plan will be taught in Political Science courses for years to come.  Take a vacation anywhere in the United States on Election Day week!  Don’t vote on Election Day!  You have better things to do with your time than spending hours on line on Election Day only to be stuck behind people who don’t know how to fill out a ballot.

There are a few things you need to do before you go on vacation:

  • Go to the county (parish in Louisiana) (BOEE in Washington DC) Board of Elections and pick up an absentee ballot.
  • Fill in the ballot including “Ahmnodt Heare” (without quotes) under “President of the United States” .  Click the link if you need a way to remember how to spell my name.  And “Albee Thayer” for Vice-President.  Feel free to choose who you want for other offices on your ballot.  Make a photocopy for your records.
  • Mail the ballot (Original, not photocopy!) by October 23.  (Two weeks before the primary or caucus in your state for primaries and caucuses). This will allow plenty of time to make sure your ballot is received by Election Day.

This will leave you all Election Day to do whatever you want.  You can even campaign for me the entire time the polls are opened without having to worry about voting.

Enjoy your vacation and thank you for your support!

January 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, campaign, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire, voting, write-in | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on New Experiment

Taking the Money Out of Politics

In case you haven’t noticed, there is no “donations” link or a “PayPal” button on my site.  This is because I have no intention of raising money for the campaign.  Some critics will claim that I have a store where people can buy yard signs and t-shirts.  I do, but that money is not going towards the campaign.  That is beer money.  I am sober because nobody has bought any stuff.

The reason why I am not raising money for the campaign is simple:  I am trying to take the money out of politics.  I haven’t filed with the FEC nor will I. First of all, the FEC has a filing fee.  And the FEC is set up to favor Democrats and Republicans.  Paying a filing fee to the FEC would be like paying somebody to rob my house.  And because I am not filed with the FEC, this is exclusively a write-in campaign.

I don’t normally endorse Republicans or Democrats, but I am going to make an exception.  I endorse Murray Hill, Inc. in Maryland’s 8th Congressional district’s Republican primary.  While they are spending money on their campaign, their primary mission in running is to limit how much money corporations like Murray Hill, Inc. can spend on campaigns.  They are trying to make it harder to make corporations to buy our elected officials.

If you want your politicians to be bought to the highest bidder, then feel free to vote for Republicans (except Murray Hill Inc.) and Democrats.  If  you want money out of politics, then vote for a candidate who is running a penniless campaign.  Vote for Ahmnodt Heare.  Ahmnodt Heare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for YOU.

March 25, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, endorsement, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Goals for March 2010

Back in January, I started the year by listing my goals for 2010.  Here they are:

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

I am nowhere near any of these goals.  This basically means I have 10 months to do 12 months of work.  I should go into more detail over some of the points so we all understand the goals I am trying to accomplish.

  1. 500 unique hits per day.  This means 500 different people coming to the site, not one person going to this site 500 times a day.  I would like to thank Brad for going to my site 500 times a day.
  2. Is largely dependent upon 4. happening.  We are currently at 20,000.  I need to be near 120,000 by the end of this month if we can make this happen.
  3. There hasn’t been any primaries yet, but the Texas governor’s primary is coming soon.  Since we are having a hard time making goals right now, I would suggest writing my name in only the Democratic governor’s primary in Texas.  Other races are fair game to all parties.  Here is a way to remember how to spell my name.
  4. Remember that bad press is better than no press.  Feel free to say anything bad about me on your blog.  People would rather think I am mean to seniors and children than not know anything about me.
  5. I really thought we had this one.  I am guessing that Obama Girl, Ron Paul Girl, and Jim Traficant Girl videos are 2008.
  6. I think once I am on one network that the other networks will trip over themselves wanting to be the next network to interview me.  If I am interviewed by Thanksgiving, I should have no problem meeting this goal.
  7. This is going to be hard to do unless it is fabricated on somebody else’s blog.  <hint>  Nobody believes a man’s escapades when he brags about it in first person.  Chuck Norris is popular despite his being modest about himself.  He has others brag about his accomplishments like: “Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.”

I am off to Dixville Notch, New Hampshire to campaign.  The road to the White House is long and bumpy.  It is time to repave it.

March 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, media, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Jobs and Economic Speech

I just finished giving a speech at the AFSCME in Huron. They were pleased to find out I wanted to bring jobs to South Dakota and America. The room got a little tense when I mentioned most of the jobs I were bringing were burger-flippers and cashiers. I think I won them over when I talked about my plan for minimum wage.

For too long, minimum wage has been a set number. It is currently at $5.15 an hour. It will soon go up to $5.75. But even that is not enough to maintain a living. My plan sets minimum wage as the total of the following: A week’s worth of rent for a one-bedroom apartment, a week’s worth of food, a week’s worth of transportation, plus a week’s worth of utilities.

We have the resources. We can make this plan happen.

May 27, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, economy, election, issues, Platform | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Jobs and Economic Speech

Campaign Stops Next Weekend

Tuesday – 5/27 AFSCME Huron, SD 11:00AM

Wednesday – 5/28 Lake Elmo State Park, Billings Montana 5:00PM

Thursday – 5/29 Helena, MT Bert and Ernie’s Dining Saloon, Helena, MT 11:00AM

Thursday -5/29 Seattle, WA City Centre 7PM

Friday 5/30 San Juan, PR The Medusa 11PM

May 22, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, Platform, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Nothing in Oregon Either

I didn’t receive any delegates in Kentucky or Oregon tonight.  There’s still Montana, South Dakota, and Puerto Rico.  The campaign and the numbers have been stagnant since the infamous brownie incident in Louisville.

Campaigning will resume tomorrow.  I will head up to Virginia and campaign for the General Election.  I might hit Tennessee  by Knoxville late tomorrow afternoon before heading home.

May 20, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, issues | , , , , , | Comments Off on Nothing in Oregon Either

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