Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Ahmnodt In Love

This may be the hardest blog entry I have ever made.  The reason is I want to talk about my new girlfriend, but she doesn’t want the publicity.  I feel compelled to write about her, but I will not mention her name for the following reasons:

  • She prefers a private life.  To maintain her privacy, I will refrain from mentioning the incredible things she does with her tongue and the mole on her left butt-cheek that looks like the state of Florida.
  • She has an infectious personality.  She is so easy to get along with that people might forget about me and vote for her for President.
  • I have yet to meet her parents.  I do not know if her parents read my blog or not, but a blog is not the place where you want to read about the sex life of your child.
  • She hasn’t met my parents or my daughter Patricia.  They will meet this weekend.  It is important that the three most important women in my life all get alone.  Fortunately my mother and my daughter love each other.
  • If I mention her name and she finds out, I won’t get any.  No comment.

I will be proud and honored to mention her name when the time is right.  Until then, I am going to keep my trap in the “off” position.

June 14, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , | 2 Comments

The Internet and Government Snooping

I am at a crossroads.  The government is looking into being able to get a subpoena for things like IMs, e-mails, and social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace. I don’t have a problem with it personally.  I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  As a candidate for President, I believe that it is important to be open about everything.

There is a privacy issue also.  Many are you are not running for President.  People want their lives private.  While it’s important for the government to track down terrorists and criminals, the government has no business in any other information like if the criminal or terrorist is a cross-dresser or a bed-wetter.  I don’t want to hear about it in the news either.  I don’t want to know that the only reason John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate is because they met through AdultFriendFinder.com.

It’s one thing to track down somebody who intends to cause harm.  It’s another thing to go after people who have pornography on their computers (I plead the Fifth) or have downloaded bootleg copies of “The Golden Girls – Season 4”.  Those people need to be left alone.

May 6, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A Look at my Platform – Privacy

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on privacy.

I would immediately cease all wiretapping operations. Video surveillance cameras would only be permitted on the hottest women.

I once had the opportunity to listen in to a phone conversation when I was an intern at a private detective agency.  Below is a transcript of the conversation.  (NOTE:  Some facts are censored to protect the innocent.  Also note that Bob and Belinda’s name were changed to Jack and Jill to protect their identities.)

Jack:  Hi Honey, I’m at the Food Lion.  Do we need anything?

Jill:  We’ll need a couple boxes of macaroni and ******.

Jack:  Macaroni and ******.  Anything else?

Jill:  We’ll also need a gallon of 2% ****.  That should be all.

Jack;  Got it.  I’ll be home soon.  I **** you.

Jill:  I **** you too.

Now imagine listening to boring crap like that for a living.  I quit interning soon after that because I never got to listen to hot lesbian phone sex and surveillance has nothing to do with a Marketing degree.

If you think that is bad, imagine watching videos of fat guys walking topless on a boardwalk.  Now imagine him scratching his crotch.  This is torture for anybody who has to watch these types of videos.  This is why video surveillance should be only on the hottest women.  Leave the ugly people alone and let’s not see them any more than we have to.

May 25, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, issues | , , , | 3 Comments

   

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