Ahmnodt Heare for President

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Punxsutawney Trip Canceled

I will not be making my annual trip to Punxsutawney, PA this year.  I had been making the trip the last couple of years since I watched the Groundhog Day ceremony on TV in 2009.  It was then that I noticed that the sky was cloudy and dark.  There should have been no way Punxsutawney Phil would have seen his shadow.  He saw it.  He saw his shadow because of all of the lights that were shining on him.  Those lights came from television cameras.  The media was to blame for six more weeks of winter in 2009.

2010 – I had to do something about this.  I made the trip to Punxsutawney and spent the night before at a local hotel.  My plan was to get there at about 6:30AM and get there before sunrise.  The plan included walking up to the cameras and filtering the lights enough to block the shadow caused by lights but not so much that people watching at home couldn’t see the groundhog.  The only problem was that I was unable to get to the cameras because there were over 10,000 people in attendance.  Phil ended up seeing his shadow.  A few weeks later, my town was hit with 2 1/2 feet of snow.

Shoveling 31" of snow made it hard to place the snow and the banks were over 7 feet high.

Last year I had everything planned perfectly.  I arrived at 3:30AM to a sparse park.  I had the filters for the lights and also brought pepper spray to spray in the groundhog’s eyes.  As I was making my move, I was approached by security.  They asked what I was doing.  I told them I was walking around and trying to get a better view.  They let me go but kept an eye on me.  Fortunately, Phil did not see his shadow.

There are a few reasons why I am not going this year.  The first reason is that winter has been mild this year with little snow.  This is a concern because I am walking distance to a ski resort.  The tourists who come here to ski drive me nuts, but they’re a necessary evil as more skiers equals more money for the town and fewer taxes I’ll have to pay next year.  The second reason is the campaign.  I will be in eastern Pennsylvania on the 1st and Connecticut on the 3rd.  Punxsutawney is too far out of the way.  Gas prices are too high for me to go anywhere but a straight line.

My apologies to anyone who had planned on meeting me this year in Punxsutawney.  It’s not a good year for the trip, but I will more than likely go in 2013.  (Hopefully as President of the United States.)

January 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tough Road Trip

I am looking for some people to go to Punxsutawney, PA with me.  Groundhog Day is Tuesday and I want to make sure Punxsutawney Phil does not see his shadow.  I don’t normally ask for help, but this is complicated in a number of ways:

  • Sunrise on Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney is 7:26AM.
  • We’d probably need an hour to get a good spot.  We should leave there at 6:30
  • It takes a bit over 5 hours from Jersey City.  I am planning on meeting on Exchange Place at 1:00AM.

We should be in Punxsutawney at 6:30AM.  This will give an hour to get a good spot and to come up with a plan to take the lights from the TV cameras who will be fixated on Phil the groundhog.  The lights need to be taken because those lights make Phil see his shadow no matter how cloudy it is outside.  It is important that we return the lights after Phil does not see his shadow and we have an early spring.

We would have to leave soon after because it is supposed to snow that afternoon in New Jersey and I want to return home before the snow hits.

Let’s do this,  We’ve already had over 50 inches of snow.  That is enough snow for the winter and many of us here want spring to come ASAP.  Let’s make sure Phil does not see his shadow this year.

January 28, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 3 Comments

They Didn’t Learn

It was cloudy in Punxsutawney, PA like it was last year.  A groundhog normally does not see his or her shadow when it is cloudy.  But when television cameras and their bright lights cast themselves on the poor little groundhog, next thing you know, the critter sees his shadow and we have six more weeks of winter.

I made my point clear when I went to Punxsutawney last year.  A groundhog will always see a shadow when a light source is on it.  This is true if the light source is from the sun, the lights from a video camera, or from a forest fire.  The only reason why I think why the media does this is because they think this is how to stop climate change.

If the groundhog sees his or her shadow, then the climate doesn’t change.  It remains winter for six more weeks.  If a groundhog doesn’t see the shadow, then it’s an early spring.  The media does everything it can to see that Phil sees his shadow.  This is wrong.  The media is only avoiding the inevitable.  The climate will change to spring in six weeks and there will nothing they can do to stop it.

Artificially controlling the weather often has hidden consequences.  Once you control it one way, then you’ll have to control it the other way.  My Physics teacher Mr. Phipps would always say that to every action, there is an equal reaction.  This is why many times the weather in the northeastern United States often goes from winter to summer with no real spring.

I did not go to Punxsutawney this year like I did last year.  I will go next year with the sole purpose of taking out those bright lights before they are anywhere near the groundhog.  I want an early spring next year!

February 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on They Didn’t Learn

How Man Controls the Weather

I did not believe that man controled the weather.  I had always thought that rain came because a cloud came overhead and released water.  I had thought that the four seasons came every year at the same time.

I learned something disturbing today while watching Punxsutawney Phil come out of his hole.  It was a cloudy morning.  It was too cloudy for me to see my shadow, let alone Phil’s.  The TV cameras were aimed at Phil.  The cameras came with bright lights and they were all aimed at Phil.  Phil suddenly had a shadow and it was almost time for him to predict the weather.  I tried to get close enough to Phil to pepper-spray his eyes so he couldn’t see his shadow.  However, by the time I got close enough, he had already seen his shadow.

We would have had an early spring if it wasn’t for the television crews and their bright lights.  The mainstream media has robbed us of an early spring.  If these people love winter so much, then we can dump snow on their front door.  They can have their winter.  I want my spring.

It’s now 11:15AM Eastern and I have been up for 29 hours.  I was ready for bed hours ago, but I had to get this incident off my chest.

February 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, environment, issues, media, Platform, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on How Man Controls the Weather

   

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