Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Why Redskins? Why?

I spent the first 30 years of my life living in Washington, DC.  There are some advantages and disadvantages (mostly disadvantages) to living somewhere without a governor, senator, or representative with full voting powers.  One way we are like other cities is that we have professional sports teams.  Washington has the Redskins (football), Nationals (baseball), Capitals (hockey) and Bullets Wizards (basketball).

I grew up watching the Redskins, Capitals, and Bullets.  I quit watching basketball when the Bullets changed their name to the Wizards because when I think of “wizards” I think of cartoon characters.  This is how the Bullets have been playing since the name change.  I hopped on the Nationals bandwagon when the Expos moved from Montreal.

Every professional sporting event I had ever attended was played in the Washington metropolitan area.  Yesterday I watched the Redskins play the Giants at Jets Stadium.  (I hate the Giants, so I call the new stadium “Jets Stadium” just to tick off Giants fans.  The stadium is actually called, “New Meadowlands Stadium.”)  It was cold and windy, but the weather wasn’t as miserable as the way the Redskins played.

I do not know what was worse; The Redskins turning the ball over SIX TIMES or TWO running backs rushing for two touchdowns and 100 yards.  The final score was Giants 31 Redskins 6, but it could have been worse.  It would have been bad watching a debacle like that if the game was played at FedEx Field in Washington or watching it in the comfort of my own home.  But wearing burgundy and gold in a sea of blue made me an easy target of deranged Giants fans.

It was such a distraught and upsetting experience that I couldn’t get myself to write anything when I got home.  I did not blog, send a tweet, or “liked” anything on Facebook.  And to add insult to injury, I got home in time to watch the Dallas Cowboys win.

I wonder why the Redskins had to play as horribly as they did yesterday.  It was probably because they knew I was in attendance and they felt the pressure of playing in front of the next President of the United States.  It’s like tennis star Andy Murray choking in Wimbledon when he plays in front of Queen Elizabeth.  That has to be it.  Mike Shanahan is a good coach.  It didn’t look like the Redskins were outcoached or that the players didn’t understand the plays.  It looked like stage fright caused by trying to play in front of a prominent political figure who happens to be a fan of your team.

I have a ton of work to do.  It’s time for me to shake this off and get to work!


December 6, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire, Washington | , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Sometimes You Need to Rant


This is an anti-American rant from somebody in England.  He or she doesn’t like that the president pardons a turkey every Thanksgiving.

Let me tell you about British elitism.  but before I do, I will tell you this little tidbit.  There are only two societies in the world where incest occurs at an alarming rate.  In America, we call them “hicks”, in Great Britian, they’re called, “royalty.”

It seems that things are going so slow in the British news cycle that people there are watching our president pardon a turkey.  They claim they don’t like Americans, but they can’t get enough of America in their newscasts.  It’s not that we in the States are too stupid to know that Gordon Brown is their prime minister.  It’s that we don’t care.

I am deeply disturbed at the American media’s obsession over royal inbreds and I wish it would stop.  What the “Royal Family” does has little to do with international affairs and much to do with pomp and fluff.

Note to rants like the one who posted the article I am referring to:  We know that some aspects of American culture leaves much to be desired.  However; your poop also reeks.

November 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, foreign policy, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments


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