Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

I QUIT!

Much to the chagrin of my Little League coach, I quit something.  As of Tuesday, I became an ex-smoker.  i quit smoking even though winners never quit.

It has been difficult.  I have gained seven pounds so far.  This means I will be swimming a few extra laps in the Jacuzzias well as spending at least five minutes on the treadmill at the gym.   I may even double the weights I use for weightlifting to 20 pounds.

I still have the urges to light up at certain times of the day.  I want to smoke when I wake up, when I drive (especially here in New Jersey – there is a reason why auto insurance is higher in New Jersey than in any other state – people here don’t know how to drive!)  I also want to smoke when writing blog entries.  (This is why I haven’t written in a few days.)

Quitting smoking does have its benefits.  I have a few extra dollars I can spend at the nudie bar.  Breathing has become easier.  My sense of smell has improved.  (This is a bit of a negative at the gym when people are sweating like pigs.)

I am going to have to find a way to be able to write without being overwhelmed by the urge to smoke.  Masturbation eases the urge, but makes it harder to type.  Hopefully as I go longer without smoking, I’ll be able to write on a regular basis.

 

May 4, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

What Made Me Sick

I am glad to be back home.  It turns out I wasn’t sick in the traditional sense.  It seems I had a severe reaction to nicotine withdrawal because I quit smoking Thursday night.

It would have been better if I knew this last night.  I got only two hours of sleep and was awaken to a roommate who was brought in.  I find it to be odd considering I was supposed to be quarantined and away from human contact.

Today I will stay at home, watch football, and hand out candy and campaign materials to trick-or-treaters.  I’ll do some campaigning in maternity wards tomorrow as time permits with my work schedule.  Tuesday, I’m off to Pittsburgh for the third “Orgies for Abstinence” and my hour-long radio special.

October 31, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, blogtalk radio, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , | 3 Comments

   

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