Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The New Battle Part II

The other day I mentioned my dislike of stores having “Black Friday” sales early Thanksgiving evening.  Today, pop-up ads will get to feel my wrath.  They suck – here’s why:

I have a computer that is pretty old.  Though my internet speed is pretty fast, it takes a while for the processor in my computer to process all of the data that streams to the computer.  I like to log on the computer, read what I need to read in e-mail and news sites, and get off to do things I have to do.
Pop-up ads are speed bumps on the information superhighway.  (It’s been a while since anyone has used the term, “Information Superhighway”, hasn’t it?)  Things go smooth until the computer hangs waiting for an ad to pop up.  the most annoying part of these pop-up ads is that they are NEVER for anything I want or use.  I have yet to spend a dime from ads shoved in my face.  I am baffled that people buy products from ads that are annoying.

How many of you have you ever tried the product above?  I never had, largely because I could only stand,hearing  “HEAD-ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD!” once or twice before the urge to throw the remote control through the television screen becomes strong enough to give the person applying the product a worse headache.

Advertising is a large part of life.  I have no problems with ads that are properly placed and aren’t annoying.  If I wanted to get irritated, I would have gotten married.  When I’m at home or at work, I want things to go as smoothly and as pleasantly as possible.  Prostitution is a multibillion dollar-per-year business without using ads because prostitutes know that they can’t sell their services if the johns get annoyed.
My solution is strong, but it will work with help from those of you who are annoyed as I am:

  1. Boycott the products that are popping up,  That alone will not be enough as I don’t buy pop-ups, but it’s the foundation of steps needed to stop pop-ups.
  2. Write to the webmaster stating your displeasure in popup ads.
  3. (If the first two steps do not work) Boycott the static ads that aren’t popping up.  One might say that it’s unfair that legitimate ads be boycotted, but so is shoving ads in your face and hogging up resources on your computer.
  4. Quit visiting that website.  If nobody goes to a website, nobody will buy ads because nobody will see ads.

I haven’t made many campaign promises, but I promise to be less annoying than either the Republican, Democratic, or Green Party candidates. (And equally as annoying as the Libertarian Party candidate.)  Together, we can quit getting annoyed.

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October 24, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The New Battle Part II

Bracket Racket

March Madness is among us.  There were 68 teams in the tournament.  There will be 16 teams remaining after tomorrow.  I had a rough go filling out a bracket last year though I did pick Kentucky to win it all.  I was going to pick Kentucky to repeat, but they didn’t make the NCAA Tournament this year.  (They were knocked out in the first round of the NIT by powerhouse Robert Morris University.

I was not about to join a bracket this season, but my campaign manager (who may or may not be alive after our next meeting) insisted I join one.  He showed me has bracket.  He had Georgetown going to the Final Four.  I grew up near Georgetown University, so I decided to join his pool and do one better:  I was going to pick Georgetown to win the whole tournament.

Georgetown lost in the first round (Actually it’s considered the second round, but eight teams play in “tip-in” games with the winners of those games advancing to the round of 64.  Georgetown did not have to play in a tip-in game.  They were the number 2 seed in the South region.  Their first game was against Florida Gulf Coast.  I am not sure, but I think Florida Gulf Coast might have been in the same conference as my alma mater (St. Thomas Francis University).  Not only did Georgetown not beat Florida Gulf Coast, but it wasn’t even close.

I now have five rounds of basketball to watch with no interest either in school or in the bracket pool.  Making matters worse is that I think the groundhog saw his shadow today and said that we will have six more weeks of winter.

March 23, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire, Washington | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Bracket Racket

Hold On Tight!

I think I am back for good.  Much has happened since I have last blogged.  While Pope Benedict XVI has resigned, Barack Obama hasn’t.  My move is set for either the end of this month or the beginning of next month.

The sequester has kicked in.  This is bad news for middle-class and lower-class Americans.  Lobbyists, bankers, and defense contractors have nothing to worry about as they have spent enough on Congress to make sure the sequester doesn’t affect them.

The news networks have lost credibility with me.  With so much going on in the world, they are wasting their resources (and our time) on pieces like “Gallon Smashing” and “Goat Edition” of songs.  I am thinking the Cinemafia has infiltrated the news networks and making sure that nothing is ever mentioned about the increasing prices or decreasing quality of movies ever again.

I will resume full-time campaigning the first week of May.  By then, even many Obama supporters will want him out and will want an alternative to what we have had for the last 10-20 years.

March 4, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, media, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Hold On Tight!

Yet Another Obstacle

A last ditch effort to get involved in the upcoming Presidential Debates fell short.  Although this particular effort wouldn’t have gotten me in the debates, it would have my presence at one of them.

My campaign manager is a blogger and had applied for media credentials for the debate that is to take place at Hofstra University next month.  He was going to go there early and talk to the other bloggers and media people about my campaign.  He was then going to liveblog the debate and include my answers that I would send to him via text.

He received this response from the Council on Presidential Debates:

Unfortunately your application for Media Credentials for the Presidential and/or Vice Presidential Debates has been “DENIED” for the location(s) you chose to attend.

If you have any questions about your application or feel this was sent to you in error, please send your contact information and request to:mediarequest@debates.org. We will reply to valid requests only and reserve the right to offer no explanation for security reasons.

I find this insulting for the following reasons:

  • “DENIED” is in quotes and in all caps.  Why couldn’t they just type denied?  Their method rubs salt in the wound.
  • They wouldn’t explained why he was denied, just that he was denied.
  • They “reserve the right to offer no explanation for “security reasons”.  My campaign manager (to the best of my knowledge) is not a member of Al-Qaeda, Hezbollah, or The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.  He loves this country and will love it more once I am elected President.

I had called for a boycott of the sponsors of the 2008 debates sponsored by the Council on Presidential Debates.  Hopefully you are still boycotting them as I continue to boycott.  Below is the 2008 list.  I will add the 2012 list to boycott when it becomes available:

2008 National Sponsors

Anheuser-Busch Companies
BBH New York
The Howard G. Buffet Foundation
Sheldon S. Cohen, Esq.
EDS, an HP Company
International Bottled Water Association
The Kovler Fund
YWCA USA

I strongly urge President Obama and Mitt Romney to boycott these debates and instead go to debates that will allow third party candidates and independents like myself to debate.  If they refuse to boycott, then I strongly urge you to boycott voting for Republicans and Democrats in any election until they are willing to debate others.  It’s odd that the two parties that have gotten America into this mess are the only two parties allowed to debate.  It’s a sad day for America.  😦

September 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, editorial, media, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Yet Another Obstacle

A Sad Day for America

The Supreme Court voted today 5-4 to uphold “ObamaCare.”  To show that I am not a ranting Republican with a knee-jerk reaction to anything President Obama does, I will explain why the Republicans are also to blame for this ruling.

Do not forget that the heart and soul of “ObamaCare” came from a health care plan implemented in Massachusetts.  Their health care plan is the “brainchild” of their former governor, Mitt Romney.  Mitt Romney is a Republican.

The vote on the Supreme Court was 5-4 with the deciding vote being cast by Chief Justice John Roberts.  He was appointed to the Supreme Court by former President George W. Bush.  George W. Bush is a Republican.

The reason why it is a sad say for Americans is because this decision does NOTHING to encourage thriftiness in spending.  It doesn’t answer why it costs $20 for a Tylenol at a hospital or why everything associated with healthcare (doctors, medicine, medical equipment, hospitals, malpractice attorneys) is so expensive.  With “no insurance for me, thank you very much” no longer an option, insurance companies (the companies people say Democrats hate, but become the big winners under “Obamacare”) can raise rates because they now know that a person not carrying insurance is no longer an option.

This is why I am an independent.  The political party says one thing but always seems to set the groundwork for the exact opposite.  I don’t have to worry about leaders in my party undermining everything I believe in and they say they believe in.

My plan is the only plan that tries to tackle the costs of healthcare.  Affordable health care  means less money needed for insurance premiums and fewer taxes collected for Medicare and Medicaid.  Both “ObamaCare” and “RomneyCare” will end up costing Americans more money out of their pockets than we are currently paying.

June 28, 2012 Posted by | campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, health care, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Here Now the News

I am able to pick up on most things before anything else.  What I was told today seemed to be one of those things I should have figured out right away, but ended up being the last person to know.  (Like the person who finds out his or her spouse has been cheating for years.)  I was told today that the media will make ANYTHING a news story just to make sure word of my candidacy and my campaign never makes it to the news.

There is a lot happening in the world, but three stories have been dominating the news all week.  One is somewhat understandable as it involves the President of the United States (The current one, Barack Obama, not the future one, Ahmnodt Heare.)  President Obama had flipped-flopped “evolved” his views about gay marriage and decided to favor it.  “Tanorexic Mom” and “Stripper Hot Dog Vendor” were also news stories, though neither of those stories will affect more than four or five people.  The latter two stories are only news stories because the mainstream media doesn’t want you to know I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  I believe this is because the same people who own the news networks also own the motion picture studios.

The alternative media hasn’t treated my campaign any better.  Instead of focusing on people who can solve problems (me), they chose to conjure all kinds of conspiracy theories.  Everything from the “second shooter” to “inside job” to “new Coke” were discussed in painful detail with little chance to hear the solutions I have to offer.

It is this reason (among others) that I have said in the past to “Tell all of your friends and half of your enemies about my campaign.”  The media won’t mention me, and because I am not a millionaire, I still have to work for a living and cannot campaign 24 hours a day 7 days a week like Obama or Romney.  I can’t give speeches on the floor of the House of Representatives like Ron Paul.  I can’t even find a boot that fits on my head like Vermin Supreme.  I am just one man on a mission to make America better than Belarus.

May 10, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, media, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Taxing Day

Filing taxes is (for lack of a better word), taxing.  Despite of all the forms, it basically boils down to two things: 1) How much did you make? and 2) Send it in. (Please enclose an additional $29.95 processing fee.)  Then they get you because they want to know where you got the money for the processing fee and why it wasn’t included with income.

Paying taxes would feel less burdensome if we were getting our money’s worth.  The federal gas taxes are supposed to go for roads and bridges, yet 1/3 of our bridges fail safety codes.  The more we spend on education and health care, the dumber our children become and the sicker we get.  Somebody has to pay for the GSA’s lavish parties.

This is why I am a fiscal conservative.  I only spend money on things I really need (housing, food, water, clothes, auto expenses, nudie bars, etc.)  I will bring that fiscal conservatism to the White House.  I will no longer have taxpayers fund a study on the flow of ketchup or on the mating habits of gay Argentinian men.  Funding will be limited to the essentials of running government, military, social programs, and the National Vanna White Museum.  If somebody needs money for a study, they can raise the money with a cake sale or a magazine drive.

You can vote for Obama or Romney (two men known for spending money), you could vote for Ron Paul (Please don’t.)  You can vote for Roseanne Barr, Lee Wrights, or another third party candidate.  But the best vote would be a vote for Ahmnodt Heare.

April 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, education, health care, humor, satire, taxes, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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