Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Mellow Time

There isn’t much happening this week either on the campaign trail or on the work front, so I will be chilling this week.  Things are subject to change upon notice as things happen quickly.  Assuming nothing newsworthy happens this week, I will be doing the following:

  • Cull over polling data – I am more interested in polling data conducted by my campaign than by traditional sources because my campaign polls include me as a candidate in most of the polls.
  • Reassess my platform – Place more emphasis on stuff people are interested in  9like my position on abortion) and less emphasis on positions that people disagree with me on.  (I am not going to flip-flop, but rather hope that people who disagree with me on an issue look at the other issues that we agree)
  • Help people who have been hurt the most by the recession – I will be holding fundraisers for people who are no longer to offer caviar at their parties due to the cost of caviar and lost jobs.  People shouldn’t have to live in such a dire situation.

My “mellow time” seems like I will be doing a lot, but it’s really much less than what I have been doing.

May 8, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, issues, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Mellow Time

Campaigning Schedule Postponed

Due to the excessive heat expected in the Northeastern United States this weekend, the campaign stops I had scheduled for this week is postponed until next weekend.  Temperatures in Philadelphia are supposed to reach near 100 degrees with the heat index approaching 110 degrees.  The weather is expected to be sunny with highs in the mid-to-upper 80s.

I will be heading to Rhode Island on Monday.  It appears that the oil spill will not being affecting Rhode Island after all, which means I am going to have to retrieve the boom I had lowered when I was there in early June.

Bad news:  The recession is now galaxy wide.  Darth Vader robbed a bank in Long Island.  He probably did it for his son, who is marrying a princess.  Weddings involving princesses are not cheap.  I will not chew more than I can carry.  While solving the economic woes throughout the galaxy is important, my main concern is solving the economic woes of the free world.  This will make it easier for aliens like Darth to find a job in the United States. (Providing that Darth is in the United States legally.)

July 24, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Poor John McCain

Senator John McCain said he was misled by Federal Reserve Chair Ben Bernanke and former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson on the $700 billion TARP Program.  He should have sought the advice of somebody who is more fiscally conservative.

I was the only candidate who suggested politicians pay their fair share in taxes.  If Senator McCain listened to my jobs program, we would be out of this recession.  My bailout plan would have cost only $3 billion jobs and would create 270,000 new jobs.

February 23, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Returning the Favor

In the past, I had pointed out ways that President Obama had stolen my campaign ideas and strategy.  I have decided to return the favor.  It seems that Obama stole his, “Yes we can” line from Bob the Builder.  I have decided to return the favor.  I will not use the “Yes we can” line because I am not so sure we can.  We haven’t yet.

I will greet people I meet campaigning with “What’s up, Doc.”  While Bob the Builder is popular with children, many Americans grew up watching Bugs Bunny.  Bugs also eats carrots, which would be good once I incorporate carrots into my health care plan.

When I speak to a group of lawyers, I could break out my Butthead quotebook and say, “You said, ‘Penal… huh-uh-huh…huh-uh-huh’.”  Lawyers and Butthead go great together (no offense, Beavis.)

I have been trying to look for a book called, “Mime over Matter: Marcel Marceau’s Book of Quotes.”  The book is not available near me.  I am sure Marceau had plenty to say before his untimely passing.

I’ll probably spend most of the day hanging out at the street corner with Dave the homeless guy.  The economy has hit him hard.  People aren’t throwing change at his face as much as they did when the recession started.  I am going to help him look for a job.

April 8, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, economy, health care, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Returning the Favor

The Recession and Why I am Fighting the Cinemafia

I have been hearing people complain about the high price of entertainment for over a year. I made this video to show people how quality movies could be made and how it would lead to lower ticket prices.

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January 31, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, economy, issues, satire | , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Recession and Why I am Fighting the Cinemafia

Chicago, D.C.

The following is an editorial written by Independent write-in candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare.

Senator Barack Obama promised change.  He promised change in how things were going to be done in Washington.  It appears there will be change in Washington after all.  He is in the process of turning Washington into another Chicago.

Chief-of-Staff designee Rham Emanuel ratted out Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.  He did not do it because it was the right thing to do.  He did it because there was no promise that Obama would get his “cut.”

I know this is a strong allegation and I cannot prove this is what happened, but I can paint a picture without using lead paint.  Chicago has had a history of corruption that dates back to Prohibition.  Buying a politician in Illinois is as easy as waking up.  I think they might even teach classes on how to do it.

I was glad to hear Barack Obama call for Blagojevich’s resigination.  Many politicians call for corrupt politicians to resign until they become the corrupt politician.  Senator Ted Stevens did not resign.  He just missed being reelected in spite of the turmoil he put himself in by getting free renovations done on his home.

The economy is in recession.  People don’t have the money to buy off politicians.  The sooner they realize this in Chicago and Washington, the sooner we can spend money on reviving the economy and restore brothels so women won’t have to go to bed hungry.

We don’t need to change Washington into another Chicago.  Michael Jordan tried it when he played for the Washington Wizards.  Washington didn’t become Chicago then, and it won’t become Chicago now.

December 11, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, economy, editorial, election, issues, Obama, politics, satire, scandal, write-in | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Chicago, D.C.

   

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