Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Pardon the Rabble

I have a few things going against me today:

  • I have a stomach virus – I won’t go into any detail because some people like to eat while reading blogs.
  • The microphone I was using for my upcoming ad malfunctioned during production. – I’m hoping to put the video up tomorrow.
  • Rick Perry suspended his campaign.  I was hoping that I could have garnered his supporters.  He decided to endorse the Newtered One instead.
  • The Newtered One wanted an open marriage. I am wondering if Callista feels the same way.  Tell her I can be reached at (507)- AHMNODT.

Despite feeling near death as I am writing this, I will be be offering my insight to tonight’s debate.  Yes there is yet another debate.  Yes I know I wasn’t invited to yet another debate.  I even know that a lot of the humor factor has been taken out now that Rick Perry will not be debating.  This is the duty anybody seriously running for President must do.  My insight will be on Twitter and Facebook.

I’m off to take care of some errands and to take a quick nap before the debate.  I’m not sure of the time or channel of the debate, but I think it’s CNN at 8:00PM Eastern.

January 19, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, debate, humor, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

How I View Other Candidates

I look at the candidates who are running for President and conclude that I must run for President.  People need a good choice.  This entry isn’t about me as much as how I see the other candidates and why I can’t vote for the other candidates.

Barack Obama (D) – Incumbent – When he was pushing “Hope and Change”, I was hoping for hope and change.  We didn’t get that, but we did get George W. Bush’s third term.

Mitt Romney (R) – The resident snake oil / used car salesman.  I’m waiting for him to say, “What will it take to get you to vote for me today?”

Newt Gingrich (R) – aka “The Newtered One” – The snake from which Romney gets his oil to sell.  Gingrich is like the weather in Cleveland:  If you don’t like his platform, wait five minutes.  And like the Cleveland weather, it probably won’t be better, but it will change.

Ron Paul – (R) – Actually a pretty good candidate for a Republican, but will be best known as the candidate whose exposure on TV was mostly about how he doesn’t get exposure on TV.

Michele Bachmann – (R) – A rather simple debate strategy: “Barack Obama has failed at _______.”  As a foster mother of over 20 children, I envision her as putting bad people in a “time-out corner” with that corner in the United States being in northeastern Maine in the winter.

Rick Santorum – (R) – A man of faith whose mission is to declare war on Syria and Iran in the name of the “Prince of Peace.”  I don’t think Jesus approves of all the wars.

Rick Perry – (R) – He is the weird uncle that always shows up at family functions.

Jon Huntsman – (R) – A reasonable man with a couple of good ideas and some hot daughters.  The type of candidate people say they want, but end up voting for people with bad ideas like Obama, Romney, and Gingrich.

Gary Johnson (R) – The 2012 version of Ron Paul in 2008.  A libertarian messenger who doesn’t get to debate often.

Buddy Roemer (R) – The family member who has been misowned by the rest of the family.

Wayne Allyn Root (L) – He is trying to Republicanize the Libertarian Party.  He is a morph of Mitt Romney the salesman and Michele Bachmann the debater.

R. Lee Wrights (L) – A libertarian candidate in the Libertarian Party.  He’d eat smarty-pants Gingrich for lunch in a debate based on the writings of Wrights I have read.  A good man, but his party tends to shoot itself in the foot when it comes to political strategy.

Cynthia McKinney (G?) – A former Democratic Congresswoman who is not afraid to take on the establishment.  Painted as a “whacko” because the establishment does not like people who challenge it.

Jimmy McMillan (RITDH) – Stalking on his political opponents quietly and waiting for his moment to pounce.  Reminded America that the rent is too damned high.

Ahmnodt Heare (I) – An average guy who is trying to take money out of politics by not accepting donations and not spending money on the campaign.

There is the tale of the tape.  Vote wisely for me.

December 11, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, commentary, economy, humor, issues, Obama, politics, Republicans, satire, voting | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

My Chances Just Got Much Better!

I’m not showing up in any polls besides the Oudda Poll (which is ran by my mother).  I haven’t gotten invited to any debates.  My media exposure has been limited to a tweet read on MSNBC and two tweets read on the local news.  These truths have been huge obstacles in my campaign.

There are good signs from non-traditional sources.  My internet presence continues to grow.  More people are talking about me in conversations with other people.  Some men tell women that they know me as a pick-up line in bars.  (This is ironic because that line works better than when I tell women that I AM Ahmnodt Heare.)  I have been offered Secret Service protection.  (I declined because I don’t like it when others look cooler in sunglasses than I do.)

The race has been narrowed down between me and President Obama.  This is because I am not a Republican invited to the “Kiss-of-Death” debate on December 27 in Des Moines.  It is not the kiss of death because it’s in Des Moines.  It is a fine city,  I have been there in the past.  It is the kiss of death because of the moderator, Donald Trump.

The reason why Donald Trump is the “Kiss of Death” is simple.  Every time a candidate goes to visit Donald Trump in search of an endorsement, he or she drops in the polls like a rock off the Empire State Building.  It started with Sarah Palin.  She isn’t even running any more.  Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain have all seen the Donald with similar results:  A rapid freefall from the polls has resulted every time.  Newt Gingrich is scheduled to meet him on Monday.

I will be declining that debate and any invitation to visit Donald Trump.  Victory is mine!

December 2, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, election, endorsement, humor, media, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Chances Just Got Much Better!

Too Smart to Hold Office?

I received a very interesting e-mail this morning.  The e-mail came with a link saying that many of today’s politicians did not do well in college.  I graduated St. Thomas Francis University with a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing.  While I wasn’t Magna Cum Laude, I wasn’t Mega Cum Stain either.  My GPA was a respectable 3.54 with more A’s than C’s.

Those with poor grades include our current vice-president (I think it’s Joe Biden) and the former President and Vice President.  Also included are a couple of my competitors (Rick Perry and Sarah Palin), and Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.

There aren’t a lot of popular politicians who are smart.  There aren’t too many smart politicians who are popular (at least popular enough to win elections.)  While I figure out which category I fit in, I will let you know that I am striving for being both smart and popular.

I will be heading to Wall Street this week.  Rumor has it that there is a strong demographic group for me to campaign to.  My work schedule is tomorrow and Wednesday, but Thursday should be light enough to make a trip to New York City.  With some luck, I can inspire some smart people to run for office and we can stop electing idiots.

 

October 3, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, Joe Biden, politics, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Random Notes and Ramblings

Instead of spending all my time on one topic, today I will touch on a few things I am feeling.

Michele Bachmann:  She worked for the IRS as an attorney for five years.  Now she is a Tea Party favorite.  This is like the sheep inviting the wolves over for dinner.

Rick Perry:

Barack Obama: My running for President should have proved by now that I am not a Barack Obama supporter.  Leave him alone.  Let him have his vacation.  It’s not like anything was getting done when he was working.

Ron Paul:  I could relate to Ron Paul’s campaign.  Neither of us got much press coverage in 2008.  Ron Paul is getting more coverage now.  Hopefully my campaign will soon be reaping the same benefit.

Cinemafia:  People are going to movies again.  This is sad.  I will explain in greater detail tomorrow.  (I’m still gathering dirt details.)

Newt Gingrich:  The Newtered One is campaigning in Hawaii this week.  He’ll get 1% in the Iowa and New Hampshire Primaries.  Campaigning in Hawaii away from the other candidates will all but assure he will get 2% somewhere.

Debt Ceiling:  If we had a balanced budget, we wouldn’t need a debt ceiling.

Apple trees and cow farts:  The cores of my health care and energy plans, respectively.

Don’t forget to listen to my podcast tomorrow night at 11:00PM Eastern. (8:00PM Pacific).  If you have any questions about me or my campaign and you feel comfortable asking with millions thousands a couple of people listening, feel free to call in at (347)-945-7487.

August 18, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , | 1 Comment

Candidates Not in Attendance #gopdebate

A lot of mention of Rick Perry not being in the debate but no mention of Jimmy McMillan or Ahmnodt Heare not being invited.  I can see not inviting me because I am not a Republican, but Jimmy McMillan is running as a Republican and should be allowed to debate.

August 11, 2011 Posted by | commentary, humor, Iowa GOP, Republicans | | Comments Off on Candidates Not in Attendance #gopdebate

   

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