Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Accessing the Damage

The 2012 election was a disaster.  Not just because Barack Obama won (it would have been a disaster if Mitt Romney, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Roseanne Barr, or Vermin Supreme won), it was a disaster because I did not win.  I received fewer votes than in 2008.  I couldn’t even win Saguache County, Colorado this time.

Much of my campaigning in the last month was hampered by my computer crapping out and by Hurricane Sandy.  And while the women at the nudie bar like me as a patron, I could not parlay that into them campaigning for me or for them getting out to vote.

The “Voter ID” laws also caused damage to my voting base.  Deceased people and zombies tend not to carry identification on their persons because they generally don’t need identification.Neither demographic drives so they don’t need to get a drivers’ licence.

My campaign’s exposure to the mainstream was also sorely lacking.  I received no television coverage other than the occasional apolitical tweet read on television.

My goal is to run another penniless campaign in 2016.  But if I can’t get any television exposure or trend on Twitter, then I will spend some money on the campaign.  There might even be a PayPal account for donations.  (I hate asking for money.)

There will be goals set soon and I will post them once I figure out how I am going to win in 2016.

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November 7, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, media, Obama, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ahmnodt Heare! Ahmnodt Heare!

The rumor I am hearing from supporters in Charlotte is that the reason why President Obama’s nomination speech was moved from Bank of America Stadium to the Time Warner Cable Arena is because over 1,000 of my supporters were able to get tickets and they were going to let their voices heard tonight.   They were also able to sneak “Ahmnodt Heare for President” signs into the stadium and had them in storage at the stadium until a Democratic Part operative spotted the signs during a security walk-through.  They caught a supporter impersonating a security worker try to put more signs into storage.  That supporter then spilled the beans about the operation.

Most of them had their tickets between the 20-and 40 yard lines on the far half of the field from the stage.  They were ready to chant “AHMNODT HEARE!” when the Democratic faithful would chant “FOUR MORE YEARS!”.  They even said they were trying to hack into the stadium television screens to have my picture posted while President Obama made his speech.

I had no prior knowledge of the actions of my supporters nor do I tolerate breaking of laws to get the message across.  Make no mistake about it, I am nonetheless deeply flattered.

There are two reasons why this wasn’t mentioned in the news:  The first reason is because the media doesn’t want to give my campaign any publicity.  If the news ever mentioned that there was a candidate besides Obama and Romney running for President, people would be typing in that candidate’s name in search engines.  People have heard of Roseanne Barr, but most people didn’t know she was running for President until they typed her name in a search engine.  She and Cindy Sheehan are running on the “Peace and Freedom” ticket.

For those of you who found this blog entry by typing in “Roseanne Barr”, “Cindy Sheehan”, or “Reince Priebus Drunk”. welcome to my website.  Be sure to check out my platform, videos, and the celebrities who have endorsed me.

September 6, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Democrats, election, endorsement, humor, media, Obama, Platform, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt Heare! Ahmnodt Heare!

Tainted Polling Data

I was at a friend’s house last week when a polling company called his house and asked him who he wanted for President.  He replied by saying that saying my name.  The poll results were published in today’s local newspaper.  The poll showed President Obama getting 51% of the vote, Romney getting 46% of the vote and 3% going to “Undecided.”  There is a problem:  My friend’s opinion didn’t count.  He decided on somebody besides Obama and Romney, but people who decided for anyone besides those two continue to be disenfranchised.

I received an e-mail from a supporter in Wyoming who was also asked to take part in a poll.  She was only given the options of Obama and Romney.  She said that she was stern in saying my name.  The pollster replied by stating that the only choices allowed were Obama and Romney.  The pollster added in a condescending tone that they are the only two who have a chance to win.  She called the pollster names that I can not say here because my mother reads this blog.

I ran an experiment with polling not too long ago.  I would have written about it earlier, but I didn’t.  I took two polls asking different questions and getting different results:

  • When asked “Who do you want for President” and given the choices of Obama, Romney, Heare, Gary Johnson, Roseanne Barr,   Jimmy McMillan, or Nobody – President Obama and I are in a statistical dead heat.  (Obama got 49% of the vote while I got 31%, well within the 35% margin of error. )
  • When simply asked who they wanted for President with none of the options mentioned, I fared better edging Obama and Romney 32% with 31% each for Obama and Romney and Nobody getting most of the rest.  Gary Johnson got about a dozen votes and Roseanne Barr received one vote.  (The poll got her phone totally by random.)
  • When asked “If you were the only voter voting on Election Day and your vote decided who would be President, would you consider voting for Ahmnodt Heare?”, 87% said yes.

Another problem with polls (even my polls) is that they take a national picture and not one that goes by states and electoral votes.  With all of the problems and distortions in polling, I will not be mention polling results in the foreseeable future.  I will also not be partaking in any polls from pollsters because I don’t want to contribute to their distortions any more.

August 16, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Taxing Day

Filing taxes is (for lack of a better word), taxing.  Despite of all the forms, it basically boils down to two things: 1) How much did you make? and 2) Send it in. (Please enclose an additional $29.95 processing fee.)  Then they get you because they want to know where you got the money for the processing fee and why it wasn’t included with income.

Paying taxes would feel less burdensome if we were getting our money’s worth.  The federal gas taxes are supposed to go for roads and bridges, yet 1/3 of our bridges fail safety codes.  The more we spend on education and health care, the dumber our children become and the sicker we get.  Somebody has to pay for the GSA’s lavish parties.

This is why I am a fiscal conservative.  I only spend money on things I really need (housing, food, water, clothes, auto expenses, nudie bars, etc.)  I will bring that fiscal conservatism to the White House.  I will no longer have taxpayers fund a study on the flow of ketchup or on the mating habits of gay Argentinian men.  Funding will be limited to the essentials of running government, military, social programs, and the National Vanna White Museum.  If somebody needs money for a study, they can raise the money with a cake sale or a magazine drive.

You can vote for Obama or Romney (two men known for spending money), you could vote for Ron Paul (Please don’t.)  You can vote for Roseanne Barr, Lee Wrights, or another third party candidate.  But the best vote would be a vote for Ahmnodt Heare.

April 17, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, education, health care, humor, satire, taxes, Vanna White | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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