When News was News

I had been hoping there would be a ton of political news happening for me to comment on.  Not only are they not talking much about politics on the network news shows, there hasn’t been much political talk on the political talk news stations.  What have they concired to be news?

• The Royal Wedding – It seems the news networks never received the memo that the United States declared independence from Britain 235 years ago.  AT least Americans weren’t footed with the tax bill to pay for the wedding they weren’t invited to.
• Osama bin Laden – US Navy Seals shot and killed a man who died in 2001.
• Casey Anthony – the story the news stations like to go to when there is political stuff happening that they don’t wish to discuss.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Schriver separating – This story is about as relevant as the cat stuck in the tree until the fire department rescued it.

Back in the day, the only thing that was reported in the news was the news (and sports and weather,)  The news usually told stories that were relevant to one’s life.I think Don Mills would agree with me.  Today’s news (especially the Morning and Mid-Day shows) contain such hard-hitting stories as fashion tips and Hollywood gossip.

We need more news happening out of Washington.  The Congresscritters and Obama are there.  I am sure what they are doing is more important than fashion tips or Hollywood gossip.

If you are a news producer, I advise you to head to Capitol Hill and find out what Congress plans to do to us before they get to do it to us.

As Seen on TV

It is said that a good man can only be kept down for so long.  I am that man.  My first televised tweet was mentioned last month on MSNBC.  I didn’t get to record it and there is no video of it on the web that I am aware of.  My most recent tweet was read last night at the conclusion of WPIX’s “PIX News@10”.

The question had to do with whether the “Royal Wedding” should be considered to be news.  Of course not!  The video quality is poor because I recorded it with a $10 camcorder and not a high-quality DVR.  (I keep telling you I am a fiscal conservative.)

I will be spending a good portion of the day campaigning and trying to capture my new-found fame.

My Take on Recent News Events

It is important for Presidential candidates to stay informed in what is happening in the news.  It is equally important to interpret the news and to come up with a plan of action.

News:  Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton.

Interpretation:  I thought we claimed independence from England.  I don’t know why this is news in the United States.

Action:  I will not watch the wedding.  Instead, I will celebrate my perpetual singleness by throwing a party celebrating my singleness.

 

News: Groups plan on boycott new screening procedures at airports.

Interpretation:  Good for them!  I fly often during my campaign and often go through screenings.  I don’t want to go through a full-body scanner for the jollies of some perverted security guard.  I also don’t want to be groped or fondled by anybody of my gender.

Action:  I won’t fly.  If I go to Europe, I will drive to Montreal and fly out of Duval Airport.  They maintain a high level of security without nudie pics and groping.

 

News:  President Obama will soon leave for Europe after coming back from a trip to Asia.

Interpretation: President Obama is in a no-win situation.  When he’s in Washington, he’s accused of doing too much.  When he’s abroad, he’s accused of not doing anything.  This means when he is here, he is doing the wrong things and America is better off when he is in other countries.

Action:  Bring this point up when campaigning.  If America is better off when Obama is abroad, we will be better off when he is out of office.  This is why it is important to elect me in 2012.  Not only am I not Barack Obama, I’m not even in his (or any other) party.

 

Watching the news is not enough.  A presidential candidate also has to interpret the news as well as take a course of action. I hope the examples above help you in understanding that I think presidentially and am worthy of your vote.