Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Just So You Know

To the best of my knowledge, my supporters have had nothing to do with the recent riots in Tunisia, Yemen, or Egypt.  There were rumors swirling around that the rioters in those countries are tired of their leaders and want me to be their President.  Some people think that “Ahmnodt” is an Arabic name and that is why the rioters want me to be their president.

If this is the case, I would like to say at this time that I do not wish to be President in any of those countries.  “Ahmnodt” is not an Arabic name, it is (to the best of my knowledge) Bulgarian; for I am named after the great Bulgarian Sculptor Ahmnodt Fukinov.

I do hope for a quick and peaceful resolution to the crises in Tunisia, Yemen, and Egypt.  Whether the regimes remain the same or they all change, it is important that the people in these countries get to some kind of normalcy by Tuesday at 4AM Eastern time.

January 29, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Response to Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck attacked my supporters and me yesterday during his show.  I expressed gratitude in bringing much-needed exposure to my campaign.  There are a few inaccuracies that I need to address:

  • I had nothing to do with Barack Obama’s campaign – We were opponents in 2008 and will be opponents in 2012.  I am an Independent, not a Democrat.
  • I ate rice at China House (a restaurant in Woodbury, NJ).  I did not eat rice in China.  I have never been to China.
  • A “Known ‘Googler'” – He has me there.  I am a Googler.  Isn’t everybody?
  • His Blackboard is full of inaccuracies.  The only people on there who belong are Pamela, Claire, David and Batman.  The connection between Ahmnodt Heare for President LLC and the IRS is mandated by law.  I have tried to free myself from this abusive relationship, but to no avail.
  • I am an advocate of WALNUT, not ACORN.
  • I have nothing to do with Nergal, Negril, or any other ancient being.
  • The “Ahmnodt Heare is the Czar of Ruining America” sign:  That sign was from a supporter who is spelling deficient.  The sign should have read, “Ahmnodt Heare is the Czar of Running America”, and even that is technically inaccurate.

I hope this clears everything up.  If you have any questions about the video or the campaign, please feel free to ask.

March 11, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, endorsement, humor, media, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Goals for March 2010

Back in January, I started the year by listing my goals for 2010.  Here they are:

Below are my goals for the campaign for 2010.  I have raised the bar as high as I could without throwing out my shoulder.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)

I am nowhere near any of these goals.  This basically means I have 10 months to do 12 months of work.  I should go into more detail over some of the points so we all understand the goals I am trying to accomplish.

  1. 500 unique hits per day.  This means 500 different people coming to the site, not one person going to this site 500 times a day.  I would like to thank Brad for going to my site 500 times a day.
  2. Is largely dependent upon 4. happening.  We are currently at 20,000.  I need to be near 120,000 by the end of this month if we can make this happen.
  3. There hasn’t been any primaries yet, but the Texas governor’s primary is coming soon.  Since we are having a hard time making goals right now, I would suggest writing my name in only the Democratic governor’s primary in Texas.  Other races are fair game to all parties.  Here is a way to remember how to spell my name.
  4. Remember that bad press is better than no press.  Feel free to say anything bad about me on your blog.  People would rather think I am mean to seniors and children than not know anything about me.
  5. I really thought we had this one.  I am guessing that Obama Girl, Ron Paul Girl, and Jim Traficant Girl videos are 2008.
  6. I think once I am on one network that the other networks will trip over themselves wanting to be the next network to interview me.  If I am interviewed by Thanksgiving, I should have no problem meeting this goal.
  7. This is going to be hard to do unless it is fabricated on somebody else’s blog.  <hint>  Nobody believes a man’s escapades when he brags about it in first person.  Chuck Norris is popular despite his being modest about himself.  He has others brag about his accomplishments like: “Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.”

I am off to Dixville Notch, New Hampshire to campaign.  The road to the White House is long and bumpy.  It is time to repave it.

March 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, media, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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