October Suprise

A couple of unreliable sources have confirmed that Independent Candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare was born in Canada.  The rumor is that Heare’s American-born parents were driving from Detroit to Buffalo through Canada and that Ahmnodt was born while his parents were in line trying to get back in the United States.  He was soon brought to Women’s and Children Hospital in Buffalo.

Though none of the other presidential candidates were able to comment, Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin said this:

“It’s a shame.  I actually liked his “War with Canada 9-5” thingie.  It was more mavericky than anything John McCain has ever done.  I would have preferred sending my son to Canada than Iraq.  He could be home for dinner every night.  I would be able to see Canada from my window if Russia wasn’t in the way.”

Presidential Candidate Ahmnodt Heare said he had no recollection of being born in Canada and that it was dirty politics being played by the Jeffery Boss campaign.

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Our Relationship With Russia

Dmitri Mededev is a bad boy.  He is so bad, he makes Vladamir Putin seem like a nice guy.  Maybe President Bush was able to see Putin’s soul in his eyes.

Foreign Trade

I believe in foreign trade.  I would trade Tony Romo to Sweden for a dozen bikini babes.  I would trade Alex Rodriguez to Russia for a barrel of Stoli vodka.  I would place a $500% tarriff on goods on China, making thier products so expensive that people would be compelled to buy American goods.

Putin on the Ritz

The next Russian leader will be as bad as Vladimir Putin is. I come to this conclusion because Putin will pick his successor. If George W. Bush had that opportunity, he would pick John McCain before Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, or Ahmnodt Heare.