Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Trip Preparation

I am getting excited about my vacation that starts on Friday afternoon.  I will be driving to Saguache, Colorado.  Part of my time in Colorado will be spent in Fort Garland for Blanca Fest the following weekend.  Hopefully I won’t break my ankle this time and I’ll be able to partake in the hike that precedes the Blanca Fest festival.

For those who are interested in meeting up, I will be in Cleveland on Friday, Chicago on Saturday, and Grand Rapids, Nebraska on Sunday before arriving at Saguache early Monday afternoon.  Driving means I won’t have many of the problems I had last year.  But it also means I won’t be tweeting as often or looking at as much porn as I normally do.  I already have my camping gear packed and will have the rest of my stuff packed Thursday evening.

It turns out that the vacation route is nowhere near route I will be taking for the Affordable Entertainment Awareness walk-a-thon I will be doing starting in October.  It’s  also nowhere near the walk-a-thon I held last year in Liechtenstein.

The workload this week is rather heavy through Wednesday.  Thursday and Friday should be light and I am hoping to hit the road by 2PM Friday.  I will be too busy to host the radio show this Tuesday, but the show will left in what I hope will be fine hands.  The next two shows following that (August 17 and 24) will be on location from Fort Collins, Colorado.

It’s off to bed.  I have a lot to do, but not a lot of time to do it.  See you in America!


August 8, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments


I am back from vacationing in Saguache County, Colorado.  I have always believed that one needs a few days to recuperate when returning from a vacation.  It’s not because the vacation itself wipes people out.  It’s because of the traveling back home.

It started with an almost two hour ride from Saguache to Colorado Springs.  That was followed by a 2 1/2 hour bus ride to Denver.  I think bus drivers are paid to drive through every neighborhood between Colorado Springs and Denver. The cab ride from the airport to the airport took 15 minutes.

It took forever to go through airport security.  I had problems taking my cast boot off for the airport screening.  I also had problems getting around with just one leg.  It was difficult looking for a place to put the boot back on my cast.

There was a huge rush for the airline to get the plane loaded.  I think that it is because they like to play a game called “Whoever Spends the Most Time on the Tarmac Wins!”  It took five minutes to load 205 people on the plane, but it took 90 minutes for the plane to leave the tarmac.  I think the pilot of my plane won the game.

I was soon at Newark Liberty Airport.  I headed to the luggage carousel to watch the luggage of the other 204 passengers go around before I saw my bags.  It was off to the parking lot.  I forgot where I parked my car.  I spent fifteen minutes hobbling around before I found it.  The “escape for Labor Day Weekend” traffic was all that was between the airport and my home.  an hour trip ended up taking up two and a half hours.

It will take at lease three days to recover from a day of traveling.  After a day like yesterday, I can use a vacation.

September 5, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vacation Ends Today

I head home today after a week of must needed time away from the job and my campaign.  I will leave here at 7:30 for a ride to Colorado Springs.  At 11:00, I will be taking a bus to Denver.  The plane leaves at 2:00PM and I shoujld be back at my home by 8PM.

I spent most of yesterday alone relaxing.  I did watch some of the Rockies game against the New York Mets at a bar.  I came back to the bar in time to watch “Wheel of Fortune.”  It was then that I found out why my campaign was so popular here.  Saguache is a hotbed for Vanna White supremacists.   There was an altercation as a few people came in wanting to watch the Denver Broncos’ game against the Arizona Cardinals.  But the Broncos fans were outnumbered by the Vanna White supremacists.

We were about to watch the Broncos game after “Wheel of Fortune” when there was a sudden showering of boos.  I saw the television and it was Wiliam Shatner doing a Priceline commercial.  An elderly woman shouted, “Way to ruin our entertainment, you Canuck spy!”

The irony is although I am heading home today, I will never feel as home as I have this past week.

September 4, 2009 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, entertainment, humor, issues, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Weekend Part Two

As I stated in my previous post, I spent Friday night in a hospital.  While most people view this as unfortunate, it did solve my lodging problem.  I was released from the hospital on Saturday.  The fractured ankle took hiking out of the equation, so I spent the afternoon in Fort Garland.

I went to the camping area at 2:30 to retrieve my luggage.  It was awkward carrying a week’s worth of luggage while on crutches.  I limped to the Chuck Wagon buffet at around 3:15.  The food was very good even though it wasn’t Chuck Wagon dog food.  “Head for the Hills” played some kick-ass bluegrass music!  I was fortunate to find a couple heading to Saguache after the show ended.

I limped around Saguache Sunday morning.  People were friendly and waved.  However, I don’t think they knew that they were waving at the person many of them voted for President.

I had a quesadilla and Spanish Rice at a local Mexican restaurant.  As the waitress was placing my food on the table, she asked me about Blanca Fest.  I asked her how she knew how she knew I was at Blanca Fest.  She said she has been reading my blog for over a year and that she voted for me in November.   She said she figured that I was Ahmnodt Heare because nobody else in town was on crutches.  She added that she would pay for my lunch and that she wanted me to sign my bill as an autograph.  Chrystal (that was her name) invited me to watch the Broncos game that evening at her house with her husband,  parents and her brother.  They all also voted for me.

“I voted for Obama!” said an elderly lady who was standing behind Chrystal .  I told her that I accepted her apology.  She grunted and left.

I arrived at Chrystal’s just before 6PM.  Chrystal, her husband Kyle, her brother Darrell, and her parents Francisco and Daria were all wearing their “Ahmnodt Heare for President” t-shirts.  There was a Jay Cutler bobblehead doll hung in effigy.  People in Colorado are still upset ofer the situation which forced Cutler to be traded to the Chicago Bears.

I asked them how I became so popular in Saguache County.  Kyle said that the people in Saugache County wanted something different.  He added that Obama said he wanted change, but my platform was the only platform that offered significant change.

Darrell offered to drive me to Colorado Springs to get an affordable rental car.  I thanked him, but declined the offer.  I won’t need transportation until Friday, when I need a ride to Colorado Springs to take the bus to Denver.  Chrystal’s parents graciously offered to drive me home.

August 31, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, election, humor, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Trivia Answers

Below are the questions and answers to yesterday’s trivia quiz:

1:  What is my mother’s name?  Ged Oudda-Heare.  Also acceptable are Eudora and Miss Modine Gunch.

2: What cause is my walk-a-thon in October for?  “Affordable Entertainment Awareness”.  Also acceptable are raising money for Jerry Lewis’ sensitivity training and free movie tickets for everyone to offset the expenses of attending commercial entertainment venues.

3: Where did I get arrested for buying a brownie last year?  The correct answer is Louisville, KY.  In a sex club in NYC and Mary Jane City, Weed County, Texas…Near Waco are also correct.

4:  Ahmnodt Fukinov is the sculptor who I am named for.  What country is he from?  Bulgaria. Absurdistan and Armenia are also acceptable (although I couldn’t find Absurdistan on a map.  Is it near Turkey?

5:  Whose birthday would I make a national holiday? Vanna White was the answer I was looking for.  Cybill Shepherd is acceptable under these circumstances.

6:  Name the county in Colorado I thought I had won.  The correct answer is Saguache County.  I will also accept Snowy Fukwad County and, “Sorry, I got nothing”.

7: What activities did I partake in during my high school years?  This was a tough question because I had never blogged about my high school years.  While I will accept are: The Masturbation Society, the Future Farmers of America (FFA), Chess club, and Self manipulation; the only club I really belonged to in high school was the “Betamax: Future of America” club.

8: Add your question here and answer it.

a) If Ahmnodt Heare was found naked and apparently drunk in an alley behind the nearest Olive Garden, what reason would his campaign give for this situation?
Embarrassment about having a 2 inch erect penis and epilepsy seizures.  Correct.  This happened in 2005, but I don’t want to talk about it.  I will discuss it in my upcoming unauthorized autobiography – Ahmnodt Heare for You.

b) Q: Didn’t I see this ploy somewhere else recently? A: Yes but it works better here.

Ram Venkatararam and David are today’s winner’s.  They both get 100% on this quiz.  They will also have a gold star next to their name on the sheet I have hanging in my bathroom.  Congrats to both for a job well done!

March 10, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, education, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments


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