Thanksgiving Before Christmas

Please forgive my tardiness for this post, but it could be applied for future holiday seasons.  I have come up with a proposal that will make things more sane in future Thanksgiving weekends.  But it will require action (or more accurately, inaction) on your part.  It will also have to do some publicity so that everybody will know we mean business.  Below are some of my demands – if you have any you wish to add, please feel free to add them in the comments section.

• No Christmas / Holiday ads until after the Thanksgiving Day Parade.  The Christmas / Holiday season shall be kicked off when Santa Claus ends the parade and enters Macy’s (and not before.)  
• No Black Friday sales until 6:00AM the Friday after Thanksgiving.  This is not just for the shoppers, but for store employees who want to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families.
• I know that turkeys are a part of the Thanksgiving tradition, but could Fox Sports have someone else besides Joe Buck and Troy Aikman brodcast the Thanksgiving games?  Those are not the turkeys Americans want to see.

I plan on boycotting any company who runs Christmas / Holiday ads before noon on Thanksgiving.  I also plan on boycotting any store that has their Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday morning for the entire holiday season.  Although I will not boycott games broadcast with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, I will watch the game with the volume off.  Advertisers will have a hard time getting me to buy their stuff if I can’t hear the commercials.

If this is something you are interested in, please let me know and I will start a formal petition to give to stores and companies who run Christmas ads.

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Aura of a Monday

Today is Saturday, though it has the look and feel of a Monday.  In fact, I’ve experienced more Monday before 9:00AM than I normally feel all day.

It started as soon as I woke up at 6:30.  I went to stretch my arms while yawning and one of my arms got caught in the blankets.  I managed to yank my arm out of the blankets, but somehow sprained my wrist.

I had just stepped in the shower when I heard a crash.  It wasn’t the crash of dishes hitting the ground.  It was a crash of one car hitting another car.  My daughter Patricia was soon pounding on the bathroom door screaming, “Daddy!  Daddy!  Someone hit your car!  Someone hit your car!”  I looked out the window and saw a car leave the driveway.  Patricia said the car was turning around and it hit my car while turning around.

It was time to walk the dog.  (I’m not one of those “Bring the dog everywhere you go” type of dog owners, but I couldn’t find anybody to watch him over the weekend.)  I put Murray on his leash and opened the door.  As I went to grab the pooper-scooper, Murray spotted a squirrel and tried to chase it.  He hurt his hind legs because I was holding on the leash tighter than normal.

I have had enough trauma for one day.  Now it’s time to bring Patricia to the mall to see Santa Claus.  Nothing is like going to the mall on Thanksgiving weekend.  Wish me luck.

Keeping Warm

The bad news is I do not have a coal-burning furnace. The good news is that Santa gave me enough coal to last me all winter. As soon as I figure out how I am going to get all of this coal home from Washington, I’ll be set. That and finding a place to put all of the coal.
My one wish is that this is the “clean coal” everybody is talking about. I don’t want to dirty the planet to keep warm unless I really have to.

Merry Christmas!

Santa Knows I Have Been Good!

Santa Claus has been watching me over the last year.  He made a special point to make a video appreciating how good I have been.  I wish I could embed it in the blog, but I can post the link.