Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Mitt Romney Reads My Blog!

Copyright restrictions prohibit me from posting the actual video where Mitt Romney mentions my policy about Canada, but it’s almost verbatim.  I can post the link and here it is!

Chances are that if you are a voting American and are planning to vote for someone other than me, then you will vote for a candidate who has stolen at least a portion of either my platform or my campaign strategy.  (Or in the case of Sarah Palin in 2008, my mishap.)

Voting for another candidate is like getting a lithograph of Leonardo DaVinci’s “Mona Lisa” when you can get the original for the same price.  It gets frustrating when I come up with innovative policy and original campaigning ideas only to have those ideas hijacked by opportunists time and time again.

This blog serves the following purposes:

  • To keep supporters informed on the latest campaign news and happenings.
  • To allow newcomers to find out what I am all about.
  • To give people who know nothing about American politics enough information so that they know what they are talking about at family functions.
  • Something to read while downloading porno movies.

If Americans really wanted a copy, they would be voting the CEO of Xerox for President.  Americans want the original.  Americans don’t want to hope whoever they elect can get a  hold of me in moments of crisis.  Ameircans want Ahmnodt Heare for President.

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December 20, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, editorial, election, humor, issues, politics, satire, voting | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Mitt Romney Reads My Blog!

My Chances Just Got Much Better!

I’m not showing up in any polls besides the Oudda Poll (which is ran by my mother).  I haven’t gotten invited to any debates.  My media exposure has been limited to a tweet read on MSNBC and two tweets read on the local news.  These truths have been huge obstacles in my campaign.

There are good signs from non-traditional sources.  My internet presence continues to grow.  More people are talking about me in conversations with other people.  Some men tell women that they know me as a pick-up line in bars.  (This is ironic because that line works better than when I tell women that I AM Ahmnodt Heare.)  I have been offered Secret Service protection.  (I declined because I don’t like it when others look cooler in sunglasses than I do.)

The race has been narrowed down between me and President Obama.  This is because I am not a Republican invited to the “Kiss-of-Death” debate on December 27 in Des Moines.  It is not the kiss of death because it’s in Des Moines.  It is a fine city,  I have been there in the past.  It is the kiss of death because of the moderator, Donald Trump.

The reason why Donald Trump is the “Kiss of Death” is simple.  Every time a candidate goes to visit Donald Trump in search of an endorsement, he or she drops in the polls like a rock off the Empire State Building.  It started with Sarah Palin.  She isn’t even running any more.  Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Herman Cain have all seen the Donald with similar results:  A rapid freefall from the polls has resulted every time.  Newt Gingrich is scheduled to meet him on Monday.

I will be declining that debate and any invitation to visit Donald Trump.  Victory is mine!

December 2, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, election, endorsement, humor, media, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My Chances Just Got Much Better!

Scaring them Away

Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has decided she will not run for President in 2012.  This announcement came one day after current governor of New Jersey Chris Christie said he will not seek the Presidency in 2012.  The reason why they have decided to drop out while the others have decided to run is simple:  Palin and Christie know me.

In this interview with Larry King in 2010, Sarah Palin tried to scare Larry King by calling me crazy.  By the time she was done talking, Larry King was ready to endorse my campaign.

Sarah Palin spoke in this attack ad.  It was filled with inaccuracies and parts were confusing.  It seemed at the end like she suggested you’d vote for me.

I do not have any videos of Chris Christie talking about me, but he has been the governor for almost two years of the state I reside in.  I don’t know what he knows about me, but it seems I am enough of a threat to keep him from running.

The other candidates and President Obama can learn a lesson from Governors Palin and Christie.  Don’t mess with the Ahmnodt.  (That’s probably not the lesson they learned, but it sounded good.)

October 5, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , | Comments Off on Scaring them Away

Too Smart to Hold Office?

I received a very interesting e-mail this morning.  The e-mail came with a link saying that many of today’s politicians did not do well in college.  I graduated St. Thomas Francis University with a Bachelor’s degree in Marketing.  While I wasn’t Magna Cum Laude, I wasn’t Mega Cum Stain either.  My GPA was a respectable 3.54 with more A’s than C’s.

Those with poor grades include our current vice-president (I think it’s Joe Biden) and the former President and Vice President.  Also included are a couple of my competitors (Rick Perry and Sarah Palin), and Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.

There aren’t a lot of popular politicians who are smart.  There aren’t too many smart politicians who are popular (at least popular enough to win elections.)  While I figure out which category I fit in, I will let you know that I am striving for being both smart and popular.

I will be heading to Wall Street this week.  Rumor has it that there is a strong demographic group for me to campaign to.  My work schedule is tomorrow and Wednesday, but Thursday should be light enough to make a trip to New York City.  With some luck, I can inspire some smart people to run for office and we can stop electing idiots.

 

October 3, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, Joe Biden, politics, satire, Wall Street | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Latest Call for Activism

Last year we were successful in getting Volkswagen to pull the “Shoot the Gap” ad that suggested reckless driving.  Before that, we were able to save the Hamptons from becoming a third world community.

The next endeavor will be difficult.  It is difficult because it is a concept we are fighting and not something tangible like a commercial or a community.   What I want to fight is the usage of a word that has no business in the English or any other language.  The word is “Anyhoo.”

“Anyhoo” isn’t even a word.  (Neither is “Anywho” but I am spelling it the other way to make a point, even if I don’t know the point I am trying to make.)  It sounds so dismissive when the rest of the sentence doesn’t.

Just because “Anywhere” and “Anyhow” are words doesn’t mean that “anyhoo” is.  Nobody says “Anywhat”, “Anywhen”, or “Anywhy.”  Anyhoo (and Anywho) show up as misspelled words when using a spell checking programs.  This is because THESE ARE NOT WORDS!!!

I don’t have many pet peeves, and there’s no room for presidential candidates burdened with pet peeves.  This is different though.  I am fighting this because people who use this word sound stupid.  I have no qualms about adding new words to the English language.  Although Sarah Palin is a political opponent in Presidential campaign, I applaud her for trying to get “refutiate” into the English language.  Oxford Dictionary now considers “WTF” and “LOL” to be words, and I have no exceptions with those being words.

Just because America’s education is being dumbed down doesn’t mean the English language has to be dumbed down.  Let’s eliminate the word “Anyhoo” and at least try to sound smart.

June 5, 2011 Posted by | commentary, editorial, education, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Politicians Got One Right

It’s not often that politicians push politics aside and act correctly.  You have to go all the way back to September 12, 2001 to find the last time politicians from both parties acted like they should.  The difference this time is that the politicians have put politics on the back burner, the media and the American people have not.

The media is paying attention to Sarah Palin’s old “crosshairs” ad with targets over congressional districts in seats held by Democrats that McCain and Palin won in 2008.  What people should be concentrating on instead is that there are mentally ill people all around us.  Politics will not cure mental illness – caring compassionate people who know how to work with people with mental illnesses will.

This one time we should follow the politicians’ lead and do what they are doing.  Put the politics away, mourn for the dead and pray for those still alive.

January 12, 2011 Posted by | commentary, Democrats, editorial, politics, postaday2011, Republicans | , | 2 Comments

80,000 and Counting

I am pleased to announce that over 80,000 people have visited my blog.  Many people who have stopped by have been supportive of the campaign.  A few have not been supportive.  Those people include the Cinemafia, Betty White supremacists, hard-core Republicans and Democrats, and dentists.

Spammers have not been included in the count, or the count would be much higher.  Those who read the blog telepathically have not been counted because WordPress has said they do not have an accurate way to count telepathic hits.  Famous politicians who have read this blog and have used either my campaign strategy or in their platform include President Obama, Sarah Palin, John McCain, and most recently, Carl Paladino.

Unlike the past, when I had a mad rush of people looking for Grandma Oudda’s famous Strawberry Stroganoff recipe or paying tribute to Billy Mays, the people lately have been coming mainly looking for an alternative in 2012.  It seems for many of these people, I have been that alternative and for that I am honored.

Thank everybody for your continued support and together we can win this thing in 2012!

September 16, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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