Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Sad News

It seems my time on BlogTalk Radio will soon be coming to a close.  They will be implementing a new policy starting February 1 that will limit when I will host a show.   They will soon charge for prime-time programming and will limit how many campaign ads I can keep stored for my shows.

I could still host shows after February 1 under the following conditions:

  • Limit of one show per day. (No problem, as I only do one show per week.)
  • Limit of 30 minutes per show. (Normally not a problem, but I will not be able to do one-hour specials any more.
  • No shows between 7PM and Midnight. (Houston, we have a problem.  My show is currently at 9PM Eastern)

I am having a problem finding a time when I could continue the show.  Here is my schedule between Midnight and 7PM (The time period I will still be allowed to host a show)

  • Midnight – 6AM:  During the week I am sleeping this entire time.  On weekends, I am usually in a drunken stupor until I pass out at 2AM.
  • 6AM-9AM: During the week I watch the hotties and that nerdy anchor guy on WPIX Morning News.  I am in waking up mode.  Waking up is hard to do.
  • 9AM-12PM: Work – I am usually working during this time.  Sometimes I start earlier when I have meetings.  People who meet me in morning meetings don’t like my demeanor because I am working before having my hottie fix.
  • 12:00-12:30: Lunch.  I can’t host a talk show while chewing on food.  It is poor manners and my mother didn’t raise her son to chew food during his talk show.
  • 12:30-1:00:  Working out A sound body leads to a sound mind like mine.
  • 1:00-6:00: Work
  • 6:00-6:30: Unwinding – a beverage, some cigarettes, and glue to inhale (on those really bad days)
  • 6:30-7:00 Dinner (See “Lunch”)

Perhaps there is another avenue for me to interact with my supporters and others live when I am not on the campaign trail.  If I find one, I will announce it in a future blog entry.  (Unless this entry is being read way in the future.  If that’s the case, I probably wrote about it already.)


December 16, 2010 Posted by | blogtalk radio, campaign, commentary, humor, media | , , , | 5 Comments

Staying on Course

Yesterday was a bad day to maintain my campaign schedule, but I did it.  The pouring rain and the howling winds did not stop me from campaigning at the cemeteries.  If I am going to be an advocate for the deceased, then there are going to be sacrifices I am going to have to make to show them that I support their cause.  They’re not going to vote just because it’s Election Day.  They need help and motivation.

I had a sense most of the people were glad I came to see them on such a horrific weather day.  I spent most of the day dodging branches blown off of trees and ended up in puddles a couple of times.  It was hard at times to keep from falling as the grounds were muddy and slippery.

Below is a small excerpt from my speech:

Ladies and Gentlemen:  You might think that now that you are dead that Congress will stop taxing you.  This is not true.  Congress wants to tax you more because they feel you can’t stop them.  This tax hurts your children and their children.  If you elect me President, I will make sure dead people are never taxed again!  This is the only way the deceased can rest in peace!…

I am continuing my crusade for the dead today at the county morgue.  I will resume campaigning for the living tomorrow.

January 26, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, satire, taxes | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Campaigning Schedule Jan 25 – 30

I am not speaking to any groups this week, but I will be out campaigning to get my campaign some word-of-mouth exposure.  While this will not give my campaign the exposure that a thirty-second ad would, I will have instant results (for the most part) of the effectiveness of my campaign.

Monday 1/25: – I will be campaigning in cemeteries in the Monroe, NY and Chester, NY areas.  This will take me a while to measure the results as most of the deceased will not be able to register to vote immediately.  I will probably have to wait for a news story to appear of party leaders commenting about the spike in registered deceased voters.

1/26 – Orange County Morgue – Goshen, NY: Unlike cemeteries, these people are recently deceased and could very well be registered voters.  They will need assurance that just because they are dead, it doesn’t mean that nobody is fighting for their rights.

1/27 – Woodbury Commons, Central Valley, NY: Many of these people are still alive and are probably feeling the effects of the economy.  I will distribute copies of my economic bailout plan and explain why my bailout plan is better than bailout plans offered by either President Obama or former President Bush.

8:00 PM (Eastern) – Real-time blogging of the State of the Union Address.

1/28 – Meet Ahmnodt Heare – Planet Pizza, Monroe, NY: I will have lunch at Planet Pizza this Thursday.  I will answer questions you may have about my campaign as soon as I am finished eating.  (My mother always harps on me about talking with my mouth full, so I will not be able to answer questions while I am eating.)

1/29 – Telepathic Teleconference: I will be hosting a telepathic teleconference at Noon on Friday.  All my fellow telepathetic people are welcome to attend.

1/30 – Boycott the Cinemafia Day: I encourage everybody to do anything on Saturday except watch a movie.  This includes home, at the theather, in prison, and anywhere else.

My work week will be pretty full, but since I have a full slate of clients, I can work around my campaigning schedule.  Please attend at least one of these events.  I am looking forward to meeting you.

January 24, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, economy, humor, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Problem with Spontaneity

I was going to host a radio show at the last minute last night.  One of my supporters had suggested it would be a good idea to show America what I am like when I am not campaigning and pandering for votes.  The show was scheduled for 9PM Eastern time.  When it came time to host the show, I was unable to unlock the switchboard to air the program.  There were three people online waiting to shoot the breeze.  It was a disappointing night for the entire campaign team.

We will try again another night, probably next week.

May 1, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Uncategorized | , , , | Comments Off on The Problem with Spontaneity


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