Back to Basics
If there was anything I learned about the Massachusetts election on Tuesday is keep things stupid. I did some soul searching and I will unveil my 78-step plan to simplify my campaign. If you are not doing anything tonight at 11:00PM Eastern, I will talk some of the things that have had a positive effect on my campaign on my radio show.
| [875988] Back to Basics |
The one thing Ahmnodt Heare has learned from Tuesday’s election in Massachusetts is that I have to do more of the simpler parts of my campaign that worked. |
Ahmnodt Running for Senate
It has come to my attention that some supporters in Massachusetts were going to write my name in for Senator. I tried to tell them I was not interested, but they said they were going to write my name in anyway.
I appreciate the offer, but I do not really want the job. This scares me because my not wanting the job might drive people to vote for me so I end up winning. Let’s look at the three candidates running in Tuesday’s special election:
Republican – Scott Brown: His claim to fame was posing for Cosmopolitan magazine wearing tightie whities. He parlayed that success into a state senate job. As a state senator, he wrote “RomneyCare.” as a U.S. Senator, he vowed to vote against ObamaCare, even though they are the same thing.
Democrat – Martha Coakley: Her bailout plan is the opposite of mine. While I would bail out companies that have folded, she would bail out companies that do not exist yet. She also claims by making wise investments in health care and education, that would create jobs. The one problem is that she would be voting against President Obama’s plan because his plan hasn’t been wise.
Other – Joseph Kennedy: He is either an independent or a libertarian depending on who you ask. He is quick to distance himself from the Kennedy clan by announcing he isn’t related to them or the late Edward Kennedy. This is the wisest decision made by any of the candidates.
I guess I am running also. I don’t want to win because being a senator is boring and there isn’t enough caffeine in Washington to keep me awake in a debate between Harry Reed and Mitch McConnell. But if you must vote for me, my first name is spelled “A-H-M-N-O-D-T” and my last name is “H-E-A-R-E” as in “Can you hear me?” Only my “Hear” has an “e” at the end.
May the second best candidate win.
About
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for America. Ahmnodt Heare for You.
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Thank You, Massachusetts!
The people of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts have listened to my call not to write my name in as a candidate for Senate. I am now able to continue to pursue my goal of becoming the 45th President and being inaugurated on January 21, 2013. (January 20 is the normal day, but since it falls on a Sunday, the ceremony will be on the 21st, a Monday). It will also be the day Martin Luther King’s birthday is observed.
I congratulate Scott Brown on winning the election. He will be a great Senator if he follows my platform.
Rate this:
Share this!
Like this:
January 19, 2010 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, satire, write-in | Inauguration, Massachusetts, Scott Brown, Senate election | 1 Comment