Campaign Polls

This is something I will do a couple times a year.  I am going to ask a few poll questions so my campaign can keep a pulse on the heartbeat of America.  The campaign will not be collecting any personal information in the poll.  You may send your personal information (Name, address, phone number, mother’s maiden name, and social security number) to ahmnodtheare-at-politician-dot-com.

 

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Strange Bedfellows

Some guy named Charles Dudley Warner once said, “Politics makes strange bedfellows.”  I knew he was correct, but I didn’t understand the extent in which he was correct until now.  Today I saw this in “search engine terms”:

“best write in candidate for anarchists”

Anarchists do not believe in the concept of governance.  And because they don’t believe in governance, they tend not to vote.  Anarchy would be the next best thing for me to my being president.  Here are the portions of my platform I believe anarchists would like:

• Life begins at 40. This is the basis of my abortion platform.
• War with Iraq is wrong. We should be fighting Canada for allowing William Shatner and Celine Dion to infiltrate our country. (at least the first part)
• I am for gay marriage. Married people have less sex than single people. That will teach them.
• My “Just say, ‘OK, but Just This Once’.” drug policy satisfies the curiosity people often have with drugs, yet offers an out before they get addicted.
• I would immediately cease all wiretapping operations. Video surveillance cameras would only be permitted on the hottest women. (They agree with the first part.  Some male anarchists and some female lesbian anarchists might like the second part.)
• Women have the fundamental right to use the utensils of their choice when cooking my dinner. Nobody shall infringe on a woman’s right to use the vacuum cleaner of her choice when cleaning my house.
• I would repeal all laws that protect stupid people. Lord knows they’re not an endangered species. (Anarchists might be smarter than I am as they would repeal more laws than I would.)
• I would abolish gun laws. I would also ban bullets. (They agree with the first part but strongly disagree with the second part.)

There are some other things I think anarchists like about my campaign:

• My fight with the Cinemafia – largely because the Cinemafia has a lot of its power because the government is protecting them.  President Obama has done NOTHING to weaken the Cinemafia’s perverse ways.
• “Orgies for Abstinence” and “Affordable Entertainment Awareness” – because change should be a society thingie and not a government mandate.

While neither an anarchist or I would consider me to be an anarchist, there are things we agree on when it comes to government.  I welcome their support, even if it’s against their principle of no government.

Social Network Campaign

There are two years to go until the Presidential Election.  You might have been looking for a way to discuss my campaign with others on your social network, but have been too shy or busy to do so.  Many people don’t like to discuss politics, and that’s OK because I am not really a politician.  I am just an ordinary American who wants to make America a better place to live.

You can be a spark plug to the campaign without saying a word.  You can get the word out without leaving your chair.  You can make a difference with just a couple of clicks of your mouse.

• Right-click the image on top of this post and choose “save image as” and name it “googleahmnodtheare”.
• Go to your favorite social network website.
• Click on your photos.
• Click “add more photos”.
• Upload “googleahmnodtheare” to your photos.
• Click “Make Profile Picture”.

It looks like a lot of steps, but each step is easy and only takes a couple of seconds.  You will be making a statement without handing out pamphlets, going door-to-door, or any of the other things people hate about campaigning.  Soon everybody will will have the profile picture and the buzz will be picked up by the media.

Signs of Progress

There have been signs that my campaign is growing.  All one had to do is to see the evolution on Google.  When the website started and somebody wanted to search for “Ahmnodt Heare”, one would see a few links with “Did you mean ‘Am Not He Are’?” on top of the results.

Then came the “suggested search” that Google fills out when you type something.  For the longest time, it would not suggest Ahmnodt Heare.  Last summer, it would suggest “Ahmnodt Heare”, but not until “Ahmnodt” was typed in its entirety.

January was the next hurdle that was crossed.  “Ahmnodt Heare” was being suggested as soon as “Ahm” was typed.

This is what pops up when you type in "Ahm".

It gets better!  Now when you type in “Ahmnodt Hear”  (Notice you don’t have to type “Heare” in its entirety), you now get some options:

What one sees when typing in "Ahmnodt Hear".

Where there is no Wiki page yet, there are some fan pages that you can join.  Many of the links are already listed in the “Ahmnodt Heare Links” on the upper left hand corner.

As more people find out about my campaign, Google and other search engines will offer more choices.  More choices will lead to more readers of this blog, which will lead to yet more choices, which will… (You get the idea.)

A Sign The Campaign is Working

I should have noticed this earlier, but when I am mulling over my search results for the blog, I notice that somebody is searching for “Ahmnodt Heare.”  My name is not a common name shared with other people.  There isn’t an Ahmnodt Heare the actor, Ahmnodt Heare the podiatrist, or any Ahmnodt Heare, the 20th century ax-murderer.  my research shows that I am the only Ahmnodt Heare in the world.

What makes today different is that so far, eight people have found this site specifically looking for “Ahmnodt Heare” and not from searching for naked pictures of Nancy Pelosi or for Jeffery Dahmer’s recipes.  (You won’t find those here, and if those search terms brought you to this site, I apologize.)

Three people found the site from using WordPress’s tag search.  Two people found the site by typing, “usa ahmnodt heare.”  Two more found it from typing, “wikipedia ahmnodt heare.”  One person found the site the old fashion way:  Just typing, “Ahmnodt Heare.”

I like to thank everybody for stopping by and reading the blog.  A special thanks goes out for those who have spreading the word about my campaign.

Some of You Scare Me

I shouldn’t be too scared because you at least made the effort to find the website.  The scary part is some of the search terms used to find the site.  Below is a list of all of the term used in the last few days.  The ones in red are the ones that concern me the most:

seamonkey	37
julian beever	12
vanna white wheel of fortune	8
billy mays	8
white supremacy tattoos	7
sea-monkey	7
vanna white	7
money tattoo	7
sea monkey	5
tatoo letters	5
seamonkey pictures	4
cross tattoos	4
taco bell	4
make a change	4
change tattoo	3
pittsburgh penguins tattoo	3
monopoly get out of jail free card	3
taco bell chihuahua	3
young nancy pelosi	3
tattoo crosses	2
i am tattoo	2
julian rangers tattoos	2
get money tattoos	2
white supremacist tattoos	2
white supremist/loraine day	2
sea.monkey	2
nancy pelosi hot	2
monopoly get out of jail card	2
get money tattoo	2
vanna white biography	2
pittsburgh penguins tattoos	2
julian beever drawings	2
beever julian	2
give money	2
vanna white young	2
ahmnodt heare wiki	2
monopoly card	1
ahmnodt	1
i am the god of war	1
get out of jail free card monopoly	1
vanna white wheel of fortune pictures	1
monopoly get out jail free card	1
president sexual innuendos	1
new york tattoos	1
get money	1
타라곤 대체	1
julian beever timeline	1
pittsburgh tattoos	1
what you give is what you get tattoo	1
villars campaign photo	1

I found out that “타라곤 대체” is Korean for “tarragon replacement”.  Tarragon is an important ingredient in Strawberry Stroganoff.  I am not worried about that.  I will explain why I am worried about those in red.

“White Supremacy Tattoos” – This should go without saying, but I am going to say it anyway.  The only white supremacy I believe in is Vanna White supremacy.  You don’t need a tattoo to be a Vanna White supremacist.

“Young Nancy Pelosi” – this was so long ago that those pictures were in black-and-white and they’re probably grainy.

“Julian Rangers Tattoo” – I have no idea who Julian Rangers is or why you’d want a tattoo of him.

“White Supremist/Loraine Day” – First, the spelling is off.  It should be “White Supremacist / Laraine Day”.  I don’t know who Laraine Day is, but from what I have been able to Google, I can’t see her as a white supremacist.

“Nancy Pelosi Hot” – i am assuming there are rumors that she has a fever and that was why she wanted the health care bill passed.  I refuse to think of any other reason.

“Pittsburgh Penguins Tattoo” – This may be fine now, but they’re going to suck again someday and you will still have that tattoo.

“I am the God of War” – I am lost here.  I am against all wars against non-Canadian nations.  I don’t consider myself to be a god, just a great guy.

“President Sexual Innuendos” – While I am flattered that you think I am president, that is not currently the case.  All I can say about the rest is that it has been a while.

Ahmnodt Heare – Google Search

via Ahmnodt Heare – Google Search

One thing I like to do to keep my name out there for others to see is to read other blogs and reply to them.  I will do this on any subject.  The other day, I posted this thoughtful response on a Jonas Brothers fan club blog:

“I don’t think any of the Jonas Brothers are hot.  I don’t swing that way.”

When you do that often enough, people will want to know more about the person who gave the reply.