Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Surprise for my Campaign Manager

My Campaign Manager does not know this yet, but he is running for U.S. Senate from New Jersey.  I have taken the privilege of taking the role of being his campaign manager.  The one drawback is that he will be paying his what I have been paying him.  My running a penniless campaign has prevented me from paying him.

Why am I doing this?  The answer is simple:  I am going to need help to pass my platform through Congress.  The current bunch of characters in Washington are pro-Cinemafia and are not interested in my energy, crime, or any other plans I have to offer.  It is important  to have people who support my campaign and my positions run for the House and Senate.  This will help me when I win the 2016 Presidential Election.

The reason why I am doing this now is because of the vacancy in the U.S. Senate due to the passing of Senator Frank Lautenberg.  The election to replace him will be on October 16.  Governor Chris Christie has chosen his buddy to be acting Senator until the special election.

I cannot wait to tell him he is running for Senate.  I will set up his campaign website as soon as he approves and decides to run.  Setting everything up now will only mean that he will decide not to run.  That’s the way things always work out.  I hate working in vain and doing all of the work required to start a campaign only to find out he isn’t interested in running for Senate.

I am off to tell him the great news.  Wish me luck!

Advertisements

June 6, 2013 Posted by | campaign, commentary, election, humor, Platform, politics, satire | , , , | 1 Comment

Paul Ryan

In case you missed it, Mitt Romney named Majority Whip Paul Ryan to be his running mate.  This is good news for my campaign.  Picking Paul Ryan all but assures that Mitt Romney will nor be elected President.  Don’t get me wrong, Congressman Ryan has all that it takes to be Vice-President.  He can vote the way he’s supposed to vote to break ties in the Senate.  He can go to ribbon-cutting ceremonies and give speeches.  And he can brew coffee.  (Since he would be Romney’s Vice-President, he wouldn’t have to brew coffee often because Romney doesn’t drink coffee.)

There are three reasons why Paul Ryan is a bad choice for Vice-President.  The first is because he it touted as a”Budget Guru”. but the budget he proposed in 2010 promised ten more years of Bush-sized deficits.  One reason why Obama won in 2008 was because he promised we would no longer have Bush-sized deficits.  (He didn’t tell us that his deficits would be much larger.)

The second is because he is hardly what one would call “assassination insurance”.  People want their president around for four years.  The reason why no serious attempt has been put on any president in recent years is because people were too scared of what would happen if the Vice-President became President.  This is why Dan Quayle, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, and Joe Biden have been picked as Vice-President.  As bad as things were with George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama have been, it would have been worse if either of their vice-presidents were to take over.  Joe Biden is why Barack Obama is still alive and is why Hillary Clinton will never be a vice-president.

The third reason is because Paul Ryan is not Albee Thayer.  Albee Thayer is one of the best debaters in the world and would easily beat Ryan and Biden in a Vice-Presidential debate.

I wish the Romney/Ryan ticket luck, but it won’t do much good.  One foot is already in the grave and the other is on a banana peel on a wet marble floor.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Albee, commentary, editorial, election, humor, Joe Biden, Obama, Paul Ryan, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The House, The Senate, Obama, and the Need for Independents

The “Payroll Tax Cut” is set to expire on January 1.  President Obama wanted to extend the tax cut for another year.  The Senate passed an extension for two months.  The House passed it for a year.  Since the House and Senate passed different versions of the bill, they were supposed to have members of both chambers meet and hammer out the difference.  The problem is the Senate has adjourned for the holidays and will not return until after the New Year.  The President now wants the House to pass the Senate version, but the House refuses to vote on it.

President Obama is a Democrat and the Senate has a Democratic Party majority, but the Republican Party has a majority in the House.  This bill is being labeled as a “Jobs Bill” (though I don’t know if this is supposed to generate jobs or is a tribute to Steve Jobs.)  The problem is that recently, both Democrats and Republicans have titled bills that have nothing to do with the laws they want to pass.  This practice has to end and the only way it can end is by voting for Independents like myself.

Since people don’t want to be mislead (I could be wrong here based on the politicians people vote for and re-elect), they should vote for people who won’t mislead.  Republicans and Democrats mislead.  They have mislead and switched positions with each other time and time again.

Obama and Democrats were elected in large part to bring a quick end to the Iraq War.  Not only did that war not end quickly and we’re still fighting in Afghanistan, but he managed to send troops to Libya.  Republicans, who were against withdrawing from Iraq, questioned why we were bringing troops to Libya.  Once Gadaffi was removed, Republicans were complaining that we were leaving Libya too early and we needed more troops there.

Instead of voting for the two parties, vote for independents.  They don’t have an ever-changing party platform to cling to.  All we Independents have is our word, and if we go against our word, we won’t be re-elected as we don’t have party pundits to spin our actions or our words.

December 21, 2011 Posted by | Afghanistan, commentary, Democrats, editorial, Iraq, issues, politics, taxes, Washington | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Let’s Win a Nation!

The change made at the top won’t mean much if the foundation remains the same.  One reason why President Obama hasn’t been able to change things as much as he wanted to is because most of the Congress that was around for George W. Bush is still around today.  In order for me to have the maximum effect as President, I am going to need like minded people to run for Congress and Senate.  What I mean by like-minded people is people who think like me and not people who think like Democrats and Republicans.

There are 435 House seats and 34 Senate seats up for election in 2012.  The good news is if we win just 218 seats, we will have a majority in the House.  The bad news is that even if we win all of the Senate seats, we will still be 17 seats short.

If you are at least 25 years old, are a U.S. citizen, and don’t have a record or any skeletons in your closet, then you are cordially invited to ride my coattails and run for Congress.  (You have to be at least 30 to run for Senate.)

America wants change.  Not just change, but real change and correct change.  If we give a dollar, we should expect 4 quarters back and nothing less.  The era of being short-changed is over!

Join me as we take America from the Cinemafia and Canadians posing as entertainers.  Run for Congress or Senate and together we can win a nation!

July 31, 2011 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , | 2 Comments

2011 and the Senate

This week I will be taking a look at what will be happening to Washington in 2011.  I will be looking at the House, the Senate, the White House, the Supreme Court, and Federal agencies.  Today I will look at the Senate.

While the Democrats lost the House, they were barely able to hold on to the Senate.  In the rare instance that a bill is voted 50-50, America’s favorite walking blooper (Joe Biden) gets to break the tie,

The primary role of the Senate in 2011 and 2102 will be to kill every Republican bill passed by the house.  Many of the alternatives the Democrats will offer will be filibustered by Republican Senators.

My advice for the Senate is the same as it was for the House:  Instead of passing a Republican plan or a Democratic plan, pass my platform.  Not only do I have a plan that is different than either the Democrats or the Republicans, but I will let them take the credit for my ideas should they decide to pass my platform as it is.

I predict that instead of moving America forward with my platform, the Senate will play the “blame game” saying that the Republicans will not pass a bill that President Obama will vote for.

January 4, 2011 Posted by | commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, issues, Joe Biden, legislation, postaday2011, Republicans, satire, Washington | | 2 Comments

Two Sides of a Coin

Just about every coin has two sides.  (17th century Bavarian coins have three sides because they were spastic.)  There is a head and a tail.  The head has either a portrait of a dead guy or Queen Elizabeth (depending on which country you live in.)  The tail is something that is not human.

There are also two sides to every debate.  An example is the spending bill passed by the Senate today.  Republicans wanted the tax cute to become permanent and estate taxes to be cut to 35%.  Democrats wanted unemployment benefits to be extended for up to 99 weeks.

Republicans are against the unemployment benefits because it is too much spending.  Democrats are against extending tax cuts because it doesn’t generate revenue for the government.  Both parties say they are concerned about increasing the deficit and enlarging the debt.

Compromise can be good or it can be bad.  It can be good when the good from party A and the good from party B outweighs the bad from party A and the bad from party B.  But if the bad from the two parties outweigh the good, then compromise is bad.

Today’s bill is bad.  It took the bad ideas from both parties and added $1trillion to the debt.  It will take 8,000,000 people 30 years to pay off the debt and interest from today’s bill.

Today was a coin-flip with the coin landing in the drain and becoming irretrievable.  Not only will we have more debt, but somebody has lost a coin.

December 15, 2010 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, legislation, satire | , , , | 3 Comments

Hope for the Campaign

Lisa Murkowski’s victory in Alaska’s U.S. Senate race over Joe Miller brings a shiny ray of hope to my chances of winning in 2012.  Not because she has embraced any portion of my platform or because I embraced any portion of her platform.  It’s not because she has any intention of endorsing me in 2012.

The reason why there is hope for the campaign is because Lisa Murkowski won as a write-in candidate.  Her name was not on the ballot for U.S. Senate, yet she was able to get more people to write in her name than to pick another name.  She had a campaign for people to learn how to spell her name.  She opted for the rebus.  Below is an example on how people got to learn how to spell her name.

 

"Mur" + Cow with a "K" + Ski spells "Murkowski"

My plan is different (mainly because it’s hard to do “Ahmnodt” in rebus.  I have opted to go with the acronym.  “Ahmnodt” as an acronym goes like “A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.”  “Heare” turns out to be “Horny Elephants Are Really Erotic.”  The best part is you can wear the anagrams on the back of t-shirts so the people behind you can see who you are voting for without wearing “Vote for Ahmnodt Heare”, which you can’t wear at an election.

There is more for me to write, but right now I really need to get some of Dolly’s taters.

November 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, election, humor, Platform, politics, satire, write-in | , , , , , | 2 Comments

%d bloggers like this: