Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

A Different Kind of Trade

Trades are commonplace in sports. Most trades involve one or more players for one or more players. Cash is sometimes involved in these trades. There are incidents when coaches are traded. Until now, these trades involved the same sport. My trade proposal involves the first intersport trade since the Montreal Canadiens acquired Youppi from the Montreal Expos.

My trade involves trading players from two different sports.  I would trade Washing Nationals outfielder Nyjer Morgan to the Pittsburgh Penguins for Sidney Crosby.  This trade benefits both teams.  The Penguins would acquire a speedy forward who can check and fight.

This video shows Nyjer Morgan’s checking ability with a catcher (who is wearing much more protection) and his ability to fight.  These skills are required in the NHL.

This video shows Sidney Crosby hitting a baseball out of PNC Park in Pittsburgh.  Crosby will be the perfect batter to protect Ryan Zimmerman and Adam Dunn in the lineup:

This trade will help two teams in two different sports.  Some of the best decisions are those made outside the box.

September 9, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on A Different Kind of Trade

The Numbness of Disappointment

This is usually when I give my predictions for the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I normally wait until now because I am usually too busy to take the time to give the First Round predictions.  I am not making a prediction this year.  I am having a hard time grasping that there is still hockey after the Washington Capitals have been eliminated.  I am rooting for the Pittsburgh Penguins to beat the Canadiens even though Penguins fans will harp on how Sidney Crosby is a better player than Alex Ovechkin.  It just isn’t true.  Anybody who knows anything about hockey knows Ovechkin is a much better player than Crosby.

Next week is Mother’s Day.  I won’t be able to watch too much hockey anyway.  I am heading down to Washington after work Friday and am heading back home early Sunday evening.  I am hoping to make it home by Midnight.  The trip would have been planned a bit differently if the Capitals were still in the playoffs or if the Nationals weren’t at home against the Florida Marlins.

There will be no predictions this year, although I am hoping the Canadiens and the Canucks lose this round.

May 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | , , , , , | Comments Off on The Numbness of Disappointment

J’ai raté mon tour (I Missed My Turn)

NOTE: Je suis actuellement dans une station de police du Québec. J’ai été admis à un blog pour autant que je suivre les lois du Québec du blogging et le lieu de la première traduction française.

NOTE: I am currently in a police station in Quebec.  I was allowed to blog providing that I follow Quebec laws of blogging and place the French translation first.

Je me dirigeais à Dixville Notch et manqué la sortie. Avant que je le savais, j’ai vu un tas de noms de rues en français. Je partais pour New Hampshire quand un local de Québec policier m’a tiré dessus.

I was heading to Dixville Notch and missed the exit.  Before I knew it, I saw a bunch of street signs in French.  I was heading back to New Hampshire when a local Quebec police officer pulled me over.

Mon feu arrière droit était sorti. Je n’avais pas mon passeport avec moi parce que je n’avais pas l’intention de venir au Canada.  J’ai été élevé à la Station Chartierville police et détenu pendant la nuit. La police m’a demandé ce que je faisais au Canada et je leur ai dit que j’ai raté mon tour.

My right taillight was out.  I did not have my passport with me because I had no intention of going to Canada.  I was brought to the Chartierville Police Station and held there overnight.  The police asked me what I was doing in Canada and I told them I missed my turn.

J’étais sur le point d’être envoyé gratuitement lors de l’un des policiers m’a reconnu. Il a dit: “Vous êtes le Canada haïr Ahmnodt Heare! Les autres officiers en riant. L’un d’eux m’a montré la première page du journal avec Sidney Crosby marqué le but gagnant pour le Canada contre les États-Unis pour la médaille d’or en hockey.

I was about to be sent free when one of the officers recognized me.  He said, “You are the Canadian-hating Ahmnodt Heare!”  The other officers laughed.  One of them showed me the front page of the newspaper with Sidney Crosby scoring the winning goal for Canada against the United States in the Gold Medal hockey game.

Je suis techniquement libres et je suis actuellement dans le hall d’attente de la police pour l’un des policiers. Il a dit qu’il avait un certain nombre de choses qu’il voulait me donner. Il est là maintenant avec un couple de CD et un chandail de hockey. Il s’avère que les CD sont par Celine Dion et Anne Murray, ainsi qu’un DVD de l’original “Star Trek”. Le chandail de hockey d’une réplique du chandail d’Équipe Canada, une fois portés par un de mes préférés Capitals de Washington, Dale Hunter

I am technically free and am currently in the police lobby waiting for one of the policemen.  He said he had a few things he wanted to give me.  He is here now with a couple of CDs and a hockey jersey.  It turns out the CDs are by Celine Dion and Anne Murray as well as a DVD of the original “Star Trek”.  The hockey jersey a replica of the Team Canada jersey once worn by one of my favorite Washington Capitals, Dale Hunter.

Je suis libre d’aller et pars pour New Hampshire.

I am free to go and am off to New Hampshire.

March 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on J’ai raté mon tour (I Missed My Turn)

Mother’s Day

I am heading to my parents’ home in Washington, DC this weekend.  I bought my mother tickets for tonight’s playoff game between the Capitals and the Penguins.  She hates hockey, but I had to get her something for Mother’s Day.  I got ripped off buying the tickets online and was unable to buy my mother flowers and a case of Jim Beam like I get her every Mother’s Day.

I will make my mother dinner tomorrow.  She always has a bunch of Hungry-Man dinners I can microwave for her.  I also learned how to make garlic toast.  I found out the hard way it’s now pouring garlic salt in the toaster while the bread is toasting.

Grandma Oudda will also be there for the weekend.  At least she likes hockey.  I think she is a Penguins fan, at least the way she mentions that she wouldn’t mind being called for “holding Sidney Crosby’s stick.”  She can be naughty at times.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms from the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign!

May 9, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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