The media has missed a few things involving yesterday’s primary in South Carolina. Below are the results:
|
Gingrich
|
40.4%
|
243,153
|
|
Romney
|
27.8%
|
167,279
|
|
Santorum
|
17.0%
|
102,055
|
|
Paul
|
13.0%
|
77,993
|
|
Cain
|
1.1%
|
6,324
|
|
Perry
|
0.4%
|
2,494
|
|
Huntsman
|
0.2%
|
1,161
|
|
Bachmann
|
0.1%
|
494
|
Results courtesy of Google Politics
The first question I am asking is how can a candidate who had to cancel campaign events due to lack of interest the day before the primary win the primary by over 12 percentage points? Here was a man who was getting badly in the polls earlier in the week. After the poll was taken it was discovered that The Newtered One wanted an opened marriage with his second wife so he can have affairs. One would think that would have hurt him more, especially in a state with a large evangelical Christian voting bloc. Yet he managed to win big.
The second question had to do with the 90,000 deceased people who voted. I was the only candidate who bothered to court this demographic. One would have thought that with just the deceased vote I would have enough votes to finish ahead of Ron Paul. South Carolina and I share a common bond – an appreciation for Vanna White and all that She stands for. She was born in North Myrtle Beach and South Carolinians like their people. I have had a good relationship with the Vanna White supremacists in the state. That should have helped me get more votes. If you take the 90,000 votes from Newt Gingrich, you would get a result more accurately reflecting the polls.
I hope that the Federal Election Commission, investigative journalists, and the Scooby-Doo gang all investigate the shenanigans of the election and fix it before Florida’a primary and that this does not happen again!
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January 22, 2012
Posted by Ahmnodt Heare |
Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, Poll, satire, Vanna White, voting | affair, analysis, election results, Newt Gingrich, North Myrtle Beach, open marriage, Ron Paul, South Carolina Primary |
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Ahmnodt Heare for President 
The Fix is In!
The media has missed a few things involving yesterday’s primary in South Carolina. Below are the results:
Results courtesy of Google Politics
The first question I am asking is how can a candidate who had to cancel campaign events due to lack of interest the day before the primary win the primary by over 12 percentage points? Here was a man who was getting badly in the polls earlier in the week. After the poll was taken it was discovered that The Newtered One wanted an opened marriage with his second wife so he can have affairs. One would think that would have hurt him more, especially in a state with a large evangelical Christian voting bloc. Yet he managed to win big.
The second question had to do with the 90,000 deceased people who voted. I was the only candidate who bothered to court this demographic. One would have thought that with just the deceased vote I would have enough votes to finish ahead of Ron Paul. South Carolina and I share a common bond – an appreciation for Vanna White and all that She stands for. She was born in North Myrtle Beach and South Carolinians like their people. I have had a good relationship with the Vanna White supremacists in the state. That should have helped me get more votes. If you take the 90,000 votes from Newt Gingrich, you would get a result more accurately reflecting the polls.
I hope that the Federal Election Commission, investigative journalists, and the Scooby-Doo gang all investigate the shenanigans of the election and fix it before Florida’a primary and that this does not happen again!
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January 22, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, Poll, satire, Vanna White, voting | affair, analysis, election results, Newt Gingrich, North Myrtle Beach, open marriage, Ron Paul, South Carolina Primary | 4 Comments