Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

2012 in Review – April

April started out with the joke on me and ended up being a joke.  I was hospitalized and was unable to partake in the “Orgies for Abstinence”.  I was invited to debate other third party candidates, but I did not receive the invitation until the night before the debate.  Since the debate was in Los Angeles, I was unable to attend.

The month found me defending stay-at-home moms and bashing the Cinemafia be celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking and over 1000 people dying.  The “Ahmnodt Heare Meme” was introduced.  The campaign went into attack mode with aggressively mentioning my campaign on blogs supporting Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Vermin Supreme, and Justin Bieber.

The attack mode was short-lived as some of my supporters complained of getting spammed with Justin Bieber videos and robo-calls from Obama’s and Romney’s campaigns as well as one supporter receiving repeated calls from a candidate running for Dog Catcher.

April showed so much promise in the beginning, but it ended up being a big April Fool’s joke.

December 23, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debate, humor, Obama, politics, Romney, satire | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Site Update

It’s a minor update, but since many people have been checking the older posts, I decided to make a change.  My past policy was to close comments after thirty days.  I have decided to remove that decision with an overwhelming majority of older posts.  The few posts that will have still have that restriction will be the posts that become spam magnets for Louis Vuitton handbags, pornography, and other items that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed.

Since many of you are relatively new to the blog, you have probably not read every entry.  Since this is the 1606th blog entry, you probably don’t want to read all of the previous 1605 entries in one sitting.  To find what I have written about a specific subject, feel free to use the “search” button located underneath the “About” section on the right side of the blog.

If English is not your native language, you can leer este blog en español, lire ce blog en français, lesen diesen Blog auf Deutsch在中国读此博客, eadray isthay ogblay inway igpay atinlay, or read this blog in English.

The “Tools” page includes other methods I keep in touch with people as well as simple things you can do to support the campaign and an easy way to remember how to spell “Ahmnodt Heare” to write in your vote for President in November.

Thank you for your continued support.  Please keep in mind when discussing my campaign with your friends and enemies that I am the only major candidate who is running a penniless campaign and will not be asking for donations.  You can’t blame me for all of those ads because I am not running any of them.

May 15, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, humor, politics, write-in | , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Some Changes

I dug deep into the labyrinth of WordPress and made some changes which will benefit both real people and myself while eliminating a good portion of the spam that has been infesting this website in recent weeks.

The noticeable change you may notice is that posts older than 30 days will no longer accept comments.  Most of the spam had been going to old posts and not accepting comments at all should stop that.  Those who had recently tried to post but do not have a WordPress account should be able to post again.

I will be blogging tonight’s debate in real time.  You can watch the debate on Fox or you can get the correct answers here.

September 22, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, debate | , , | Comments Off on Some Changes

Bad Time

The following post is a translation from English to Spammer English.  Spammer English is when an eastern European uses translation software to translate their spam from their native tongue to English.  The original post is “Bad Timing“, originally written in April, 2010.

Spammer English is the paragraphs in bold.  The original paragraph is below in italics.

One of the pitfalls of the campaign is to raise growth and to organize a popular event is that sometimes people pick the strangest times he wants to talk about it. I was atdinner in Denny with my daughter seven years, when people started asking me questions about “Orgies to abstinence.”

One of the pitfalls of having a campaign that is picking up momentum and organizing a popular event is that sometimes people pick the oddest times to want to talk about it.  I was having dinner at Denny’s with my seven-year-old daughter when people started asking me questions about “Orgies for Abstinence.”

I have come to accept that there will be situations in which people will want me and I’ll have a little less time with my daughter than I would. It is part of the territory of the U.S. president. But there are some questions that should not be around children. Not my child, no child, Gomez and Morticia Addams child.

I have come to accept that there will be situations where people will want to see me and I will have some less time with my daughter than I would like.  It is part of the territory with running for President of the United States.  But there are some questions that should not be asked around children.  Not my child, not your child, not Gomez and Morticia Addams’ child.

Seven years has no interest information: “Orgies to abstinence.” She does not need toknow what is orgy. She does not need to know what is abstinence (but it would help ifshe abstained.) She definitely does not need to see her father stumbled when askedwhat orgies and sexual abstinence.

A seven-year-old has no business knowing about “Orgies for Abstinence.”  She doesn’t need to know what an orgy is.  She doesn’t need to know what abstinence is (but it would help if she abstained.)  She definitely doesn’t need to see her father tripped up when she asks what an orgy and abstinence are.

I would like to thank everyone for their continued support and enthusiasm for thecampaign, many of direction “Orgies to abstinence.” If you have any questions, feel free to ask (silently).

I would like to thank everybody for their continued support for my campaign and the unbridled enthusiasm many have towards “Orgies for Abstinence.”  If you have any questions, feel free to ask (discreetly).

Why the rant about spam?  Because every once in a while, legitimate comments get buried in the spam comments.  Askimet (the software WordPress uses to filter out spam) normally does a very good job of filtering out spam while letting legitimate comments be posted.  Once in a while (about 1 in 2000 comments), either a legitimate comment is found in the spam pile or a spam comment is found posted.

I try to read every comment in the spam pile before deleting it.  People have questions they want answered.  Some people are critical of me and my campaign.  These voices need to be heard.  Gibberish comments for Viagra or credit scores do not.

August 25, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor | , , | 2 Comments

Spammers Be Warned

Readership has decreased according to WordPress.com’s stats.  (It’s actually up 43%, but they don’t count the thousands who read the blog daily via telepathy.)  Despite this, I the spam I have been getting has tripled in the last month.  It wouldn’t be a big deal except there was a comment that Askimet accidentally marked as spam and I hit delete all.  Soon after I hit delete all, I noticed the legitimate comment.  I tried to save the legitimate comment, but it was too late.  It was a negative comment, but it was not spam.  I will try to re-enact the comment below:

Your education policy is horrible.  It is a joke.  Get a clue!

This comment was from “ProfessorX” but I don’t know his or her e-mail or website.  ProfessorX, if you are reading this, please e-mail me and I will add the post manually.

Back to the spammers:  I appreciate your fiscal conservatism by using spam instead of spending money on a real advertising campaign.  However;  you keep spamming the same 5 posts I wrote in 2008 and 2009.  Your posts also have nothing to do with the topics at hand.  Furthermore, if somebody really wanted male enlargement drugs, Louis Vuitton bags, headphones, Russian porn, cribs, Timeshares in the Caribbean, Hawaii, or the Yukon, people would use a search engine and not come here.

I have an ego.  It’s a hunch that people come to my blog, it’s because they want to know how I view the issues and not as the place to go to find links to Gucci shoes.  Some repliers have links to their business embedded in their name.  Some will even post a link relevant to what I had written.

I bought some Spam the other night.  (The Hormel product).  I’m letting it sit outside for a week.  If you keep sending me spam, I will send you my Spam when it starts decomposing.  Hopefully I have made myself clear.  if I have not, then I would advise against sniffing any packages you might be getting soon.

July 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | | 10 Comments

An Open Letter to America’s Independent Voters

Dear Independent Voter,

Like you, I am an independent voter and am not registered to vote as a Democrat or as a Republican.  I am registered to vote as an Independent.  I tend to vote for candidates who are neither Democrats nor Republicans.  If I vote for them, I might as well be one of them.

I am writing this letter today because there are more people registered to vote as Independents (40%) than either as Democrats (30%) or as Republicans (30%).   In theory, in a three-way race between Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, the Independent candidate should win because the Independent has the largest base to work with.  Yet on Election Day, the Independent often finishes a distant third behind the two party candidates.  This has to stop.  We Independents need to stick together!

Many of us are Independents because we know the Democrats and the Republicans do not have the answers.  If either party had the answers, then things would be honky-dory and we wouldn’t need the other party or independents.  But things are far from honky-dory.  We have a high unemployment rate, a weak dollar, and an entertainment industry that is pricing itself out of the affordable price range of many Americans.

It is time to start voting for Independents.  A good way to start is with the 2012 Elections.  I am running as an Independent for President.  I am the candidate Independents have been wanting to vote for.  If everybody votes party lines, I would only get 40% of the votes, but I would get enough electoral votes to get elected.

You are registered as an Independent voter.  It is time to vote party lines and vote Independents into office and fix this country.   Some will say that Independent candidates don’t have a chance and voting for an Independent would be a wasted vote.  The only wasted vote is voting for the same thing and hoping to get something different.  Albert Einstein thinks this is insanity and I agree.

I am writing this letter now because it will take a while for this letter to be spammed to all Independent voters.  If you keep getting this letter in your e-mail, please don’t get mad, just delete all but one letter.  You will need one letter to print out so you will know how to spell “A-H-M-N-O-D-T  H-E-A-R-E” (without the quotes or hyphens) when you go to vote.  If you need to remember how to spell my name, below are tips for my first and last names:

AHMNODT – A Horny Man Needs Only Dolly’s Taters.

HEARE – Horny Elephants Are Really Exotic.

It wasn’t the Independents that ran up the debt – It was the two parties.  It wasn’t the Independents who have our troops in the Middle East years after “Mission Accomplished.” – It was the two parties.  It wasn’t the Independents who drove up the price of entertainment and snacks at movie theaters, it was the two parties.

Please let your fellow Independent voters know that there is finally an Independent that Independents can rally behind and vote for.  That Independent is Ahmnodt Heare.

November 11, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, humor, issues, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 3 Comments

You Have Spoken

The results are in from the latest poll.  It was a tie between allowing my fellow anti-Cinemafia posters to spam this blog and not allowing any spammers at all.  I have decided to let the people speak.  This means not allowing my vote to count.

Because my vote does not count, there will be no spam approved, not even from the friendly folks fighting the Cinemafia.  While I would have liked to approve these spam messages, this is your website.  (I’m just the guy who does all of the blogging, editing, promoting, etc.)

Some other candidates hear you and want you to shut up.  Others do not hear you at all.  Not only do I hear you, but I encourage you to speak your mind.  How can a president do the people’s work if he (or she) doesn’t know the work the people want done?

While my critics might see this as a victory for the Cinemafia, there are many wars yet to fight.  Together, we will defeat the Cinemafia.

September 17, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, Poll, satire | , , , | 3 Comments

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