Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Why I am an Independent

People often ask me why I am running for President as an Independent and not as a Republican or a Democrat. They often claim that I do not have a chance because I do not belong to either party.

Some reasons why I am not a Republican:

  • War: Republicans love to declare war on everybody (as long as their children don’t have to fight.) I believe war should be limited to the most extreme circumstances. (Like Canada.) They also believe that a soldier should be a soldier 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I believe a soldier should only have to be a soldier from 9AM to 5PM from Monday through Friday. They should have weekends and holidays off like everybody else.
  • Surveillance: Republicans believe that we should be spying on anybody who can be considered a national threat. I think that surveillance equipment should only be used on the hottest women and only in showers and bedrooms.

Some reasons why I am not a Democrat:

  • Bailouts: Democrats believe that we should bailout existing companies who are in trouble as a way to create jobs. I believe these are the last companies to go to for job creation. I have stated in the past that bailouts are better suited to go to companies who are either financially sound or no longer exist.
  • Health Care: Democrats believe that government should play a role by helping pay for health care for people who can’t afford it. I believe the way to make health care affordable is by cutting costs. I am a proponent of prevention. The only role government should play in health care is planting apple trees everywhere. An apple a day will keep the doctor away, thus saving on trips to the doctor.

The vision for America that Democrats and Republicans have is too different for me to join either party. I believe that I am not the only person who feels this way towards both parties. This is why I am running as an Independent.

October 7, 2009 Posted by | Afghanistan, Ahmnodt, Bailout, campaign, commentary, Democrats, economy, editorial, health care, humor, Iraq, issues, politics, Republicans, satire, War | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Who Obama Should Have Picked to Head the CIA

Many people thought it should be me, but I am not very good at being a spy.  I couldn’t get the hotties like James Bond.  I would have recommended Darren Rodriguez.

You might be wondering who Darren Rodriguez is.  He runs a private detective agency somewhere in Virginia.  He was the guy that caught me at the nudie bar when I was seeing my daughter Patricia’s mother.  He also caught me in the Food Lion in the produce section.  And in the Fairfax library in the children’s section with the library intern.  I did not know any of this until Patricia’s mother took me to the cleaners in court.

Darren Rodriguez is not only stealth, but once he knows where you are, he is zoned in on you like a tick on a dog.  This is the type of person we need heading the CIA.

I just don’t see these qualities in Leon Panetta.  I can see Panetta making the spies wear name tags so he knows who the spies are.  I can see him walking up to a spy dining with the enemy as part of a mission and saying, “Make sure you keep an eye on him at all times!” aloud so the enemy hears it.

I wish President-elect Obama  would have picked Darren Rodriguez.  This would get Rodriguez off my back be a great addition to Obama’s staff.

January 6, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, foreign policy, issues, politics, satire, scandal | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

   

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