Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Heare for Teachers

The lead story on the local news was a former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader being arrested for raping a 15-year-old boy.  From what I was able to watch, the boy did not want to participate in intercourse.

This story reminded me of the recent stories of female teachers having sexual relations with students.  It doesn’t matter if the students are willing (Many times these cases get reported after the male student brags about and the parents report it to the police.)  It is wrong whether a minor consents or not.

If you are a female teacher and you find yourself having the urge of getting involved with a student, back away and give me a call.  I will keep our relationship.  If the affair somehow gets leaked out to the press, you could at least breathe easy knowing that no charges will be filed.

If you find it necessary that you have a relationship with a student, I can be that student.  I’ll bring an apple and a ruler.  You could spank me because I forgot to do my homework.  I’ll stay after class for “extra study”.

Don’t jeopardize your career and have to register as a sex offender.  Let me help you.

November 5, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Heare for Teachers

I Warned You About Bieber!

I have said for a while that Justin Bieber was a Canadian spy whose mission was to help destroy the Great American Entertainment Industry.  It turns out I was correct, but that was not his only mission.  It turns out that Justin Bieber was sent by the Canadian government to destroy all that is America.

Justin performed a “concert” last year at Staples Center.  Afterwards, an adult American woman approached him.  Nine months later, Baby Bieber was born.  She was 19 at the time of the dirty deed while Bieber was 15.

She now wants child support for her child.  But in order to claim child support from Bieber, she is admitting that she had an affair with a minor.  Here are the problems:

  • Baby Bieber was born in the United States and thus is an American citizen.
  • If Baby Bieber’s mom pursues the child support, Bieber’s parents could counter with statutory rape.
  • Bieber could request to become an American citizen to raise his American child.  This would just be a front as he is loyal to Canada.
  • He could also request that he and his parents raise the Bieber Baby in Canada.  When the Bieber Baby turns 18, he or she could move the United States and already be a citizen based on birth and raised to be a Canadian spy.
Once I become president, Bieber will immediately be deported to Canada (possibly as soon as the inauguration ceremony.  I would make an executive order that would prohibit an American-born child of a spy to become an American citizen.  (I would try to go through Congress and have them make it law first, but I am not holding my breath.)  I would pardon the mother of Bieber Baby’s mother under the provisions that she can be the sole guardian of the baby and that the baby never goes to Canada.

November 2, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, entertainment, humor, satire, scandal | , , , , | 5 Comments

   

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