Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

We Must Continue!

My opponents are doing whatever it takes to make sure I am not elected President in 2012.  The latest blow came when long-time supporter Tom DeLay was sentenced to three years in prison for breaking a law that doesn’t exist.  They can’t arrest all of us!  There are too many of us to arrest (especially on laws that do not exist!)

If you find yourself in this predicament, let me know.  The campaign and fellow supporters will make sure that people who try to arrest you on charges that do not exist are arrested for harassment (a crime that does exist.)

Below are a few non-existent laws they might try to pin one of my supporters with:

  • Felony Jaywalking – Jaywalking is an infraction, not a crime.  Even if done with other crimes, it is but an infraction and jail time cannot be served solely for jaywalking.
  • Tearing off a mattress tag – Opponents might tell authorities that you tore off a tag from a mattress and they will try to get the police to inspect your mattress without a subpoena. Know your rights.   Make sure the police have a subpoena and don’t let them in without one.
  • Farting – Flatulence is not a crime, but they might trump up charges saying that you are using a biological weapon.
  • Not Farting – If you do not fart, they might accuse you with storing a biological weapon.

We must be vigilant.  We must be persistent.  We must fight the good fight and stand together and not allow our opponents to intimidate us in any way!

 

January 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, postaday2011, satire | , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Internet and Government Snooping

I am at a crossroads.  The government is looking into being able to get a subpoena for things like IMs, e-mails, and social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace. I don’t have a problem with it personally.  I am a candidate for the President of the United States.  As a candidate for President, I believe that it is important to be open about everything.

There is a privacy issue also.  Many are you are not running for President.  People want their lives private.  While it’s important for the government to track down terrorists and criminals, the government has no business in any other information like if the criminal or terrorist is a cross-dresser or a bed-wetter.  I don’t want to hear about it in the news either.  I don’t want to know that the only reason John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate is because they met through AdultFriendFinder.com.

It’s one thing to track down somebody who intends to cause harm.  It’s another thing to go after people who have pornography on their computers (I plead the Fifth) or have downloaded bootleg copies of “The Golden Girls – Season 4”.  Those people need to be left alone.

May 6, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

   

%d bloggers like this: