February was a mixed month. The good news was that I received an endorsement from Donald Trump’s toupee and the celebration of the fourth anniversary of this blog.
The bad news was that there were over 800 Republican debates in February and I wasn’t invited to any of them. My father took me he was going to introduce me to Mitt Romney during CPAC. It turned out to be a man named Mitch Rodney, who was also running for President.
February is when people realized I was too liberal to be conservative and too conservative to be liberal. I was penned as an “extreme moderate” by myself. I showed that I was the candidate of moderation and common sense. (Yet I received fewer votes than either Obama or Romney.)
February was the month of TAMPON (Take All Money Political Out Now), the first and only SuperPAC to support the campaign. As demonstrated by this ad, they were as fiscally conservative as I am.
As of this writing, the Mega Millions jackpot for Friday March 30 is $640 million. The amount is for people who choose the annuity option and are somehow able to get out of paying income tax. I don’t normally play the lottery (though I play $500/week in scratch-off tickets because I want to help the schools), but this money could pay for a lot of presidential ad time. A whole lot of presidential ad time.
I chose the cash option. The jackpot for the cash option is $462 million. After paying $161,700,000 in income tax, that will still leave $300,300,000 to play with. Some people will say the winner should pay more in income tax. However, I could see that someone who cut a check to the IRS for $161,700,000 say that he or she paid one’s fair share in taxes.
Not all of my money will go towards my campaign. I would spend $200,000 for a house and $20,000 for a new car. I would put aside $5 million so I can retire. I would rent out a hotel in Las Vegas for the ultimate “Orgies for Abstinence” scheduled for two weeks from today.
I wish everybody playing Mega Millions tonight the best of luck. Remember if you win that I am not accepting money for my campaign, but I would be unable to stop you for creating a SuperPAC that supports my campaign.
Brace yourselves, America! Last night I received a text from my running mate Albee Thayer that there is a superPAC in the works in Texas that plans to run anti-Ahmnodt Heare ads on television and radio in February. Their original plan was to run an ad during the Super Bowl, but NBC nixed the ad stating they do not run political ads during the Super Bowl.
If you are looking for an internship with a major media company, Then write NBC, tell them that Ahmnodt Heare does not have an embed for his campaign and that you are willing to be that embed.
Tonight will be the last debate (8:00PM EST – CNN) the Republicans will have until February 22. This is good news for people who have been playing drinking games during debates because their livers will finally have a chance to heal. I am the only presidential candidate to play drinking games while debating so I am the only candidate who feels the pain.
I still haven’t gotten a microphone for my computer so production for my video and radio ads are on stand-by. I am hoping to have them both finished this weekend.
Ahmnodt Heare is a fictional character running a real campaign. He is an Independent candidate for President of the United States. His views on solving America’s problems is different than the ideas being offered by any Republican or Democratic candidate.
In the upcoming days, he will give a daily account of his political activities, campaigns, and other behind the scene activities like no other candidate ever has.
The purpose of this blog is to showing the absurdity of Ahmnodt Heare’s platform and show that the two major parties are equally absurd (especially at the federal level.)
If you are fed up with the two-party duopoly, then feel free to write in “Ahmnodt Heare” for the office of your choosing.
On Election Day, tell your fellow Americans, “Ahmnodt Heare!”
Ahmnodt Heare for President 
Mega Millions
As of this writing, the Mega Millions jackpot for Friday March 30 is $640 million. The amount is for people who choose the annuity option and are somehow able to get out of paying income tax. I don’t normally play the lottery (though I play $500/week in scratch-off tickets because I want to help the schools), but this money could pay for a lot of presidential ad time. A whole lot of presidential ad time.
I chose the cash option. The jackpot for the cash option is $462 million. After paying $161,700,000 in income tax, that will still leave $300,300,000 to play with. Some people will say the winner should pay more in income tax. However, I could see that someone who cut a check to the IRS for $161,700,000 say that he or she paid one’s fair share in taxes.
Not all of my money will go towards my campaign. I would spend $200,000 for a house and $20,000 for a new car. I would put aside $5 million so I can retire. I would rent out a hotel in Las Vegas for the ultimate “Orgies for Abstinence” scheduled for two weeks from today.
I wish everybody playing Mega Millions tonight the best of luck. Remember if you win that I am not accepting money for my campaign, but I would be unable to stop you for creating a SuperPAC that supports my campaign.
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March 30, 2012 Posted by Ahmnodt Heare | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | annuity, cash option, income tax, jackpot, Mega Millions, retirement, scratch-off tickets, SuperPac | 3 Comments