Another Chance to Show Your Support

For those who graciously took part in the “Draw Ahmnodt” contests the last two years, thank you for taking part.  I am going to have a different contest this year.  This year you are invited to submit a video explaining why you will vote for Ahmnodt Heare for President.   You can either mention something from my platform that you agree with, or you can come up with your own reason. (i.e. “His voice is so sexy.”)

There are a few simple rules for submission:

1) Videos should be two minutes or less.  Nobody likes watching documentaries online.

2) No profanity.  I might “F$%*ing Rule”, but my mother will be watching these videos.

3) No nudity.  Especially if you are male.

4) Videos should be in English, Spanish, or Pig Latin.  Please stick to one language per video.

5) All videos should be in .wmf or.mp4 format.

Videos should be submitted to ahmnodtheare@politician.com.

All videos will be posted on my YouTube channel.  The best will be posted on my Facebook page and in a future blog entry.

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Be a Part of It!

Between now and next Sunday, I will be collecting short video snippets from supporters explaining why they support Ahmnodt Heare for President.  The video should be thirty seconds or less with a brief explanation why Ahmnodt Heare would be a better candidate than Barack Obama or Mitt Romney.

If you are stumped as to what to say, here are some links I hope will inspire you.

• Issues – My position on the issues of the day.  Feel free to pick the one that inspires you the most.
• Videos – My videos on a wide variety of topics explaining in my own words (mostly) explaining why I should be President.
• Endorsements – For those of you who found out about my campaign from a celebrity who endorses me for President, you can briefly explain the characteristics your favorite celebrity and I have in common.
• Puppies – who doesn’t love puppies?

Everybody loves puppies!

As soon as I compile all of the clips from supporters, I will post a composite video containing the clips and then forward the compilation to various media sources.

 

Oops, I almost forgot:  e-mail your completed clips to ahmnodtheare@politician.com

Getting Dirty

To my long-time supporters:  I apologize for what I am about to write.  This message isn’t for the supporters who have helped this campaign grow.  This is for the people who support other candidates (Most notably Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, and Newt Gingrich.)  I am writing this because while my supporters will vote for me because they like me, most people will vote for someone else because their candidate isn’t “the other guy.”  After all, I’m not Obama, Romney, nor Gingrich either.

Barack Obama has been appointing people to government positions who were lobbyists for companies who financially supported his 2008 campaign and will more than likely support his 2012 campaign (Unless they are one of those companies that went bankrupt despite all that Obama has done for them.)

Mitt Romney said he doesn’t care about the very poor or the very rich.  I care about the very rich.  They throw some of the best parties and I will remember them when I become President.

Newt Gingrich all but admitted that the Cinemafia is funding a large portion of his campaign last night.  During a speech, he snipped at me saying, “Ahmnodt running for ‘Entertainer-in-Chief’.”  I am running for President of the United States.  One the things that the president should do is to make sure Americans have affordable quality entertainment.  But I have also addressed jobs, energy, abortion, privacy rights, “Vanna White Day”, and many other issues.

So vote for me because I’m not one of them.  If that’s not good enough, then vote for me because I am a nice guy with ideas to make America a better place to live for you.

Inside the Mind of a Supporter

It is important for me to understand people.  One tool I use to find new supporters is to interview current supporters and find out why they support me.  I can then use this information and reach out to prospective supporters.  This interview is with Scholar Mel.  He is currently an ex-pat living in Germany.  Prior to that, he was a pat living in the United States.

Ahmnodt Heare: Scholar Mel, tell me a bit about yourself.

Scholar Mel: Well I’m a teenage girl in my last year of high school and I’m looking forward to applying to college and deciding where to go in the fall.

Ahmnodt Heare: Why do you support Ahmnodt Heare to be the next president?

Scholar Mel: Because it’s beautiful.

Ahmnodt Heare: I understand you are currently living in Germany, Why is that?

Scholar Mel: No I am not, I am asking you what the number 42 means.

Ahmnodt Heare: The number 42 was the number worn by Jackie Robinson. It is retired from baseball, but it is you being interviewed.

Scholar Mel: That is also off topic, but I’ll let this one slip because I think it is an interesting concept.

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you think Ahmnodt Heare can undo the damage done by recent politicians?

Scholar Mel: Yes, why wouldn’t you be able to?

Ahmnodt Heare: Do you plan to return to America soon?

Scholar Mel: Maybe, would you like to help me?

Ahmnodt Heare: What kind of help do you need?

Scholar Mel: I need help, to help you.

Ahmnodt Heare: I’ll have my people contact you as soon as I have people.

Scholar Mel: That sound like a good plan.

Ahmnodt Heare: How do you think the German government will relate to an Ahmnodt Heare presidency?

Scholar Mel: Good, he is owsom.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you for stopping by. You can go back to what you were doing.

Scholar Mel: Up to no good?

Ahmnodt Heare: Probably.

Scholar Mel: What? Do you want it to end?

Ahmnodt Heare: I have to go campaign and stuff.

Scholar Mel: Where are you going?

Ahmnodt Heare: A few towns near me in New Jersey.

Scholar Mel: Isn’t it a little early in the year for snow in New Jersey?

Ahmnodt Heare: Have a good day.

Scholar Mel: You leaving?

Ahmnodt Heare: Yes.

Scholar Mel: Why?

Ahmnodt Heare: Bye.

Scholar Mel: I like you though.

Ahmnodt Heare: Thank you, but I am now running late. Bye!

Scholar Mel: Yay! :D.

He’s a nice fellow, but had a hard time understanding that I had to leave.  I have learned from him (or is it her?) that I can win voters with my beauty.

This ought to win the people over.

This interview was conducted with Cleverbot.

Consoling a Supporter

I finished work early today and was hoping to hit the campaign trail.  Unfortunately, one of my supporters is going through a tough time.  It hurts me to see people go through pain in their lives.  Below is the conversation we had.  (For confidentiality purposes, I changed the supporter’s name to “Cleverbot” to protect his or her identity.

Cleverbot: What do humans do? User: A lot of really stupid stuff. Cleverbot: What sort of stuff. User: Mistreating each others and their surroundings. Cleverbot: I gave practically my entire life story to you and got nothing in return… User: I’m sorry, but I can’t help with that. I am running for President. Cleverbot: Can you console me? User: I can try. Cleverbot: Try it. User: Everything will be OK. Hang in there. Cleverbot: You’re probably right. User: That’s why I am running for President. I’m usually right. Cleverbot: Knock Knock. User: Who’s there? Cleverbot: Doctor. User: Doctor Who? Cleverbot: Doctor who! User: Will you endorsement me for President? Cleverbot: Yes. User: You are cool. I don’tcare what they say. Cleverbot: Well, my master, I am only a slave. master? what kind of slave am I? User: I am not your master. But I would guess you are a good slave. Cleverbot: You are so clever (I’m being sarcastic). User: Do you like being a slave? Cleverbot: I am not a slave, but if I were I do not think I would enjoy it.

It’s too late to go where I wanted to go today, so I will be at home.  I’ll be in the Allentown-Bethlehem area tomorrow.

Twice a Week

During the spring and summer months (weather permitting) I will be having a podcast on Saturday afternoons at 12:00PM Eastern.  This will start next Saturday.  The Saturday shows will be on location outdoors amongst the people.  I will not know ahead of time if the crowds are supportive of my campaign or not.  I am hoping the Saturday show will bring a discussion of the issues.

The Friday Night shows will continue at 11:00PM Eastern.  There is a show tonight.  The Friday night shows will be from my home (Unless the owner of the nudie bar changes his mind and lets me host shows there.)  Tonight’s show will be about the Republican debate last night (with my answers) as well as a comment about Osama bin Laden.

Exploratory Committee Results

The exploratory committee took time to watch me swim laps at the town pool.

I am pleased to announce that the exploratory committee for my campaign has finished my viability as a presidential candidate in 2012.  Here are the conclusions they came up with:

• While I have yet to been interviewed or involved in a TMZ-covered scandal, I am starting to get media coverage. Some people in the national media now know who I am.
• I have a history of setting trends.  There were many activities I did in the 2008 campaign that were later copied by other candidates.  Portions of my platform were borrowed by candidates for office in 2010.
• I have the best group of supporters ever.  If you don’t believe me, ask any of my supporters.
• Despite how people traditionally vote, they like a candidate who says what he means in plain English.  (Y Español también.)
• At least I’m not Newt Gingrich.
• People don’t have the money to fund campaigns.  I’m not asking for money.  I’m not spending money.  I am living as a true fiscal conservative.  People want a president to show spending restraint.

The polls may not reflect the findings (especially the polls that don’t list me as a 2012 Presidential candidate), but I am beginning to make headway and plan on being a major player in the election.