Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My Last Night in Europe

Tomorrow night at this time, I will be back home.  The trip started well in London.  The wheels of the trip started falling off Tuesday in Dublin.  The Liechtenstein Walk-a-Thon for Affordable Entertainment Awareness turned out to be a “Make fun of Ahmnodt” festival.  Yesterday I could not afford to study prostitution hands-on like I wanted to.  Today was supposed to be icing on the cake on what was supposed to be a successful trip through Europe.  It was the last nail in the coffin.

It turns out that the “Swedish Bikini Team” I was so anxious to see turned out to be the Men’s team.  The Women’s team doesn’t start training until next week.  The Men’s team came out wearing nothing but skimpy thongs.  I started to hurl.  Security took me to the nurse’s office.  I was thinking that there might be a silver lining behind this cloud.  The only thing behind the cloud was a nurse named Henrik.

I threw up again when I met Henrik.  I was soon rushed to the hospital.  I don’t know why people are rushed to the hospital in Sweden.  People end up waiting for hours and sometimes days waiting to see a doctor.  I saw a woman give birth in the waiting room.  An old man had two heart attacks while waiting to be seen.  Two hours later, I had enough and left.

I feel better now that there are no men in thongs or male nurses to nauseate me.  My flight leaves at 8AM Stockholm time and I should be at home by 4PM Eastern.  There is a hottie from Munich in the room next to me, but I am too tired and to disappointed to invite her to my room for a drink.

March 20, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy, health care, politics, satire | , , | 10 Comments

Message to Riksdag: Stop the Blonde Supremacist Movement!

The blond supremacy movement in Sweden has reached epidemic proportions.  I am calling for the Riksdag to stop suppressing the human rights of non-blonds.

Sweden used to be a country of openness and tolerance.  They will welcome you if you are gay.  They will welcome you if you are non-Caucasian.  They will welcome you regardless of your religion.  But if you are not a blond, you will be deported to Denmark before the Swedish Meatball hits the floor.

If the Riksdag does not recognize the rights of hairs of different colors soon, I will do what it takes to get Henrik Lundqvist deported back to Sweden.

December 12, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, foreign policy, issues, politics, satire, speech | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Foreign Trade

I believe in foreign trade.  I would trade Tony Romo to Sweden for a dozen bikini babes.  I would trade Alex Rodriguez to Russia for a barrel of Stoli vodka.  I would place a $500% tarriff on goods on China, making thier products so expensive that people would be compelled to buy American goods.

September 26, 2008 Posted by | campaign, debate, election, foreign policy, issues, MS Debate, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Foreign Trade

   

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