Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Ahmnodt the Speed Demon

I now have a blemish to my record.  I was given a speeding ticket today.  I was driving 27 miles per hour in a 15 mile-per-hour zone.  There goes my lifelong dream of becoming a school bus driver.

I also received a ticket for running a stop sign.  That ticket should be easy to beat since there was no stop sign at the place I allegedly didn’t stop.  (Thanks to Howie for removing that sign for me.)

It’s a warm day here and will continue to be seasonably warm for quite some time with copious amounts of rain tomorrow and Sunday.  I am suspending the encouragement of global warming now that I can feel my hands again.

Should I have told the police officer that I wasn’t speeding, but “qualifying”?  I figured since there are bumping stickers that say, “I’m not tailgating, I’m drafting”, then I could have my own NASCAR reference to a driving infraction.

With three or four inches of rain expected this weekend, I doubt the town will be sending out the drought notices until at least Wednesday.  At least it isn’t snow.  My shoulder still hurts from the inch I had to shovel on Tuesday.

 

 

 

 

March 28, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire, scandal | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Things Left Unsaid

A presidential candidate often gives his (or her) opinion on many subjects.  Not all subjects involve politics.  As important as it is for me to talk about the issues of the day, it is equally important to know when NOT to comment.

One of the things I cannot comment on while I am running for President is how awful drivers are here in New Jersey.  It is especially unwise to mention how bad New Jersey drivers are while I am still living in New Jersey.  So I will refrain from mentioning how often they tailgate.  Some of them are so close that I can tell the color of their eyes.  As a general rule, I don’t want to know anything about the appearance of the driver behind me.  Mentioning little things like they like driving in parking lots like they’re freeways is a no-no. The fact that they tend to think that directional signals are optional would be huge faux-pas.  I will not comment on how New Jersey drivers pay the highest auto insurance rates FOR A REASON!

For the reasons listed above, I will be keeping my opinion of how people in New Jersey drive to myself.

May 24, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial | , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

   

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