Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Presidential Workout

I stepped on the scale a few months ago and was shocked and saddened.  The need to step on the scale came to be when my favorite summer khakis were no longer fit.  I had somehow gained 50 pounds over the last year.

There are only 27 months until the general election.  The need to get into campaign shape is pressing.  The days when having a body like William Howard Taft is considered presidential are over.  People want their presidential candidate to be built like President Obama (or the 2008 Ahmnodt Heare.)

I had to change my diet and start exercising.  My diet will be posted tomorrow.  Today will be spent discussing my new exercise regiment.  Below is what it details:

  • Stretching – It is important to stretch your muscles before working out.  I stretch my arms and legs, fingers, toes, and tongue.  I would stretch my brain muscle but the skull is in the way.
  • Calisthenics –  It is important to start off slowly.  if you start off too fast, you could injure yourself.  Or worse – you could sweat.
  • Jogging – Jogging increases the heart rate, which is important in losing weight.  I jog to and from the mailbox every morning.
  • Weights – I believe in target training.  In addition to the abdomen, I work on the biceps, triceps, quadriceps, deltoids, and Altoids.
  • Cooldown – A proper cooldown reduces stiffness of the muscles.  I cool down by heading into the steam room and relaxing.  Afterwards, it’s off to the jacuzzi for 5-10 laps back and forth.

I am confident that my workout and diet will bring results and I will soon be campaign fit and ready to tackle the world’s problems.


August 4, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments


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