A Word From the Running Mate

My Fellow Americans,

My name is Albee Thayer.  I am honored to have been tapped by Ahmnodt Heare to be his running mate.  (By “tapped” I mean “chosen” not “tapped like a stick to a maple tree for syrup.  I haven’t had the time to introduce myself because I have been busy on my ranch and campaigning here in the Abilene, TX area.

I was born in New York City on November 7, 1958 and grew up in the suburbs.  My father was a junior vice-president at a Wall Street firm and my mother was a history teacher.  They instilled a tough work ethic in me.  I graduated high school a year early and received my Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from the Abilene Christian University in only three years.  I later earned my MBA degree in Executive Management at the University of Texas.

I run a 80-acre ranch in the outskirts of Abilene with hundreds of steer and antelope roaming the ranch.  I shared the ranch with my wife Beatrice and our son Tyler until they were killed by a drunk driver in 1998.  I never remarried as I kept busy growing the ranch and trying other business ventures.

A Republican by trade, I became disenfranchised with the party and left in 2002 when they continued the spending the Democrats started.  After taking a look at other parties and even trying to start my own party (If you ever heard of the “Checkbook Party” about 10 years ago, that was the party I started.

I am proud to say that I voted for Ahmnodt Heare in 2008.  He doesn’t know this yet, but I wrote my name in for vice-president because i thought holding both offices is too much for anybody, even Ahmnodt.  My interest in him and his campaign started with his fight against the Cinemafia.  I have had a similar fight with the sports mafia.  I would sometimes make the drive to the Dallas – Fort Worth area to see the Cowboys and the Stars.  I became outraged by the ever-increasing prices to see the game as well as food and beer (which is way more expensive than at a bar or church and is watered down.)  At least the Cinemafia doesn’t charge for parking.  It was $20 the last time I went to Texas Stadium in 2007.

Ahmnodt will be back tomorrow.  He is currently traveling through New Hampshire campaigning in small towns near the border with Canada.  He will be back tomorrow with updates from the trail.  If you have any questions about me, feel free to ask them in the comments section below.

Sincerely,

Albee Thayer

Independent Write-In Candidate for Vice President

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For All the Roses

The BCS Championship game tomorrow between Texas and Alabama is being played in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, CA.  This game is not the Rose Bowl, but it is for “all the roses.”

Whether you are a Longhorn or a Crimson Tider, it is important to remember that tomorrow’s game is for all the roses.  It is also important to remember that the 2012 election is for all the roses.  But the only those roses will smell sweet is if I am elected president.

If you are one of the fortunate people going to the big game tomorrow and you support my campaign, I need you to make signs readable for the millions watching the game on TV.  You could have an “Ahmnodt Heare for America” sign or a “Google Ahmnodt Heare” sign.  The “John 3:16” signs give a beautiful message, but won’t help me get elected.

I’m not going to pick a winner in this game.  Part of me wants Alabama to win because my father’s worst enemy’s daughter went to Auburn when I went to STFU.  The other part of me wants to root for Texas because I don’t know what a “Crimson Tide” is.  It should be a great game and I should post my prediction for the game as soon as it ends.

A Quick Hello (Bowl Talk)

Nothing happened today.  None of the teams I was rooting in the college bowl games are winning.  I had prepared for such a scenario by betting on TCU to win even though I want Boise State to win.  I guess I will root for Alabama in the BCS Championship game against Texas.  Not because I like Alabama, but because the colors of Alabama are similar to the colors of my alma mater St. Thomas Francis University.  (Go STFU!)  My college even does the numbers on the helmet like Alabama does because “STFU” takes up too much space.

Wow!

http://www.click2houston.com/investigates/17671375/detail.html

Over 6,000 dead people have registered to vote in Houston this year. As more people register post-mortem, the Ahmnodt Heare campaign picks up steam.

If the media ever got around to ask the deceased, they would overwhemingly say Ahmondt Heare because I have been the only candidate campaigning in cemetaries.