Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Learning From Ferguson

It is unfortunate that Americans have not learned from Rodney King and Trayvon Martin.  Once again, cars were set on fire and businesses were looted.  There has to be a stop to this.  In order to stop history from repeating itself, one has to get to the root of the cause and spread Roundup weed killer on it until the root is dead.  Here is how I would handle things to make sure this doesn’t happen again:

Reading the Verdict – Have the verdict read in the morning before 10:00AM.  Nobody likes rioting when one is tired and the coffee hasn’t kicked in.

Keep it Peaceful – Most of the greatest achievements towards equality were the result of peaceful actions like Martin Luther King.  People have no sympathy for those who choose to act like they are in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Focus Your Anger – Instead of burning everybody’s cars and looting businesses, take out your hostility on those who caused you to feel hostile.  Don’t burn down your neighborhood.  It keeps the police around too long.  Instead, hold a sit-in at a courthouse or police station.  And although the Department of Motor Vehicles usually has nothing to do with these situations, have a sit-in there too.  You will get supporters because everybody hates the DMV. (Even the people who work there.)

If you are a district attorney, please don’t give a case to a grand jury with the intent with hoping that they will not indict the defendant when the defendant has allegedly caused death or injury to a person.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and may your Black Friday shopping be less of a riot than what Ferguson went through.

 

 

November 25, 2014 Posted by | commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Learning From Ferguson

The New Battle Part I

There are two topics that I would like to discuss because the other candidates will not take the time to address.  “Black Friday” and “Pop-Up Ads.”  These need to be addressed because they bother me and they probably bother you as well.  I will cover “Black Friday” today.

Black Friday (The day after Thanksgiving in the United States or the day after Columbus Day in Canada) is traditionally the day that retail stores make a profit for the year as more people shop on that day than on any other day of the year.

It used to be that stores would start decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving week.  Most stores are fully decorated for Christmas by Halloween and some stores start decorating as soon as the Back-to-School sales period ends.

Once upon a time, Black Friday sales started on Friday.  It started at Noon many years ago,  Than it got moved to 8:00AM, than 6AM, than 5AM, and finally, Midnight.  The retail stores realized that they were running out of Friday to start.  Black Friday started at 8:00PM a few years ago and 6:00PM last year.

It was bad enough having to stay up to get in line for a Black Friday sale in the cold Northeastern nights.  Moving it to Thanksgiving Thursday cuts into very valuable time with the family watching football.

Here is my plan to stop Black Friday Sales during football Thanksgiving:  I will boycott and store that has a Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday.  This boycott will not just be for Black Friday.  It will not be just for the holiday season.  It will be for as long as they insist on ruining the Thanksgivings of their employees and of the loved ones of people who shop on Thursday.

October 21, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thanksgiving Before Christmas

Please forgive my tardiness for this post, but it could be applied for future holiday seasons.  I have come up with a proposal that will make things more sane in future Thanksgiving weekends.  But it will require action (or more accurately, inaction) on your part.  It will also have to do some publicity so that everybody will know we mean business.  Below are some of my demands – if you have any you wish to add, please feel free to add them in the comments section.

  • No Christmas / Holiday ads until after the Thanksgiving Day Parade.  The Christmas / Holiday season shall be kicked off when Santa Claus ends the parade and enters Macy’s (and not before.)  
  • No Black Friday sales until 6:00AM the Friday after Thanksgiving.  This is not just for the shoppers, but for store employees who want to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families.
  • I know that turkeys are a part of the Thanksgiving tradition, but could Fox Sports have someone else besides Joe Buck and Troy Aikman brodcast the Thanksgiving games?  Those are not the turkeys Americans want to see.

I plan on boycotting any company who runs Christmas / Holiday ads before noon on Thanksgiving.  I also plan on boycotting any store that has their Black Friday sale before 6:00AM on Friday morning for the entire holiday season.  Although I will not boycott games broadcast with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, I will watch the game with the volume off.  Advertisers will have a hard time getting me to buy their stuff if I can’t hear the commercials.

If this is something you are interested in, please let me know and I will start a formal petition to give to stores and companies who run Christmas ads.

November 28, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Thanksgiving Before Christmas

Happy Thanksgiving! (Happy Columbus Day in Canada)

Ahmnodt Heare for President

It was Thanksgiving of 1989.  A few things stood out about that Thanksgiving.  The first thing was the turkey we were supposed to have went bad.  The fowl was foul.  My mother sent me to the supermarket to get a turkey that wasn’t sour.

I had just gotten my license a few weeks earlier.  It was a good thing I had it because none of the supermarkets in the area had any turkeys left over.  It took me a while and a bit of driving to find a supermarket that still had turkeys twenty miles from my home.   The supermarket lines were crowded and it seemed to take forever to pay for the turkey.

I was heading home when the rear passenger tire went flat.  I had never changed a tire before and I soon realized that it would be a while longer before I would change a flat…

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November 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on

2012 NFL Season – Week 12

Last Week:6-8 (.429) Best Bets: 3-0 (1.000)
Season to Date: 73-86-1 (.459) Best Bets: 17-15-1 (.533)

If you have been relying on my picks to make yourself some easy money, you are even dumber than I am.  This goes for those who bet everything I pick or everything against what I pick.  Even I don’t bet on my picks.

Tomorrow will be a great Thanksgiving.  I will be at my parents’ home (my childhood home) in Washington DC and watch the Washington Redskins beat the Dallas Cowboys with my father.  Speaking of Thanksgiving, I think there should be Cranberry Pop-Tarts available for Thanksgiving.  I think they would sell well.

Happy Thanksgiving from what remains of the Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
11/22 12:30 ET Houston -3 At Detroit
11/22 4:15 ET At Dallas -3 Washington
11/22 8:20 ET New England -7 At NY Jets
11/25 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -8 Oakland
11/25 1:00 ET Pittsburgh -1 At Cleveland
11/25 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -3 Buffalo
11/25 1:00 ET Denver -10.5 At Kansas City
11/25 1:00 ET Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville
11/25 1:00 ET At Chicago -2.5 Minnesota
11/25 1:00 ET Atlanta -1 At Tampa Bay
11/25 1:00 ET Seattle -3 At Miami
11/25 4:05 ET Baltimore -1 At San Diego
11/25 4:25 ET San Francisco -2 At New Orleans
11/25 4:25 ET At Arizona -2.5 St. Louis
11/25 8:30 ET At NY Giants -2.5 Green Bay

   Monday Night Football Point Spread

11/26 8:40 ET At Philadelphia -2 Carolina

November 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, NFL Picks, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 NFL Season – Week 12

Vacation Mode

I will be in full vacation mode for the next two weeks.  I will not be campaigning nor will be working.  I will be spending the next week in Virginia Beach with a Monday trip to Washington DC to drop off my daughter.  Patricia was picked up after school and will be spending the three day weekend with me.  (Veteran’s Day is on Sunday, observed on Monday, and forgotten about on Tuesday.)  It’s too chilly for swimming this time of year, but it’s nice for walking along the beach.

It’s going to be good to just relax.  No deadlines.  No vigorous campaign schedule. No  nudie bars are visits to cemeteries trying to get votes.  Just, rest, relaxation, and the best chance to restore my sanity.

Next Sunday is a stay at my parents’ home in Washington.  I will be there until the day after Thanksgiving (Columbus Day in Canada)  before heading home for some final relaxation at home.

November 9, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Favorite Thanksgiving (Repost)

This is a repost from November 25, 2010.

It was Thanksgiving of 1989.  A few things stood out about that Thanksgiving.  The first thing was the turkey we were supposed to have went bad.  The fowl was foul.  My mother sent me to the supermarket to get a turkey that wasn’t sour.

I had just gotten my license a few weeks earlier.  It was a good thing I had it because none of the supermarkets in the area had any turkeys left over.  It took me a while and a bit of driving to find a supermarket that still had turkeys twenty miles from my home.   The supermarket lines were crowded and it seemed to take forever to pay for the turkey.

I was heading home when the rear passenger tire went flat.  I had never changed a tire before and I soon realized that it would be a while longer before I would change a flat.  The car did not have a jack.  I frantically tried to wave somebody down who could help me.  A few people came over and wanted to help, but none of them had jacks either.  A policeman came over just before noon and was able to quickly change the tire.

Thanksgiving started to get good at noon as I was listening to the radio and was introduced to “Alice”s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie.  The song is about twelve minutes long and is about two guys who had a worse Thanksgiving than I was having because they were in jail.

I soon arrived home to two very angry parents.  It took them a while for them to realize I wasn’t joyriding trying to avoid Thanksgiving.  Having turkey that day was out of the question because by the time the turkey was prepped and cooked, it would be after 8:00PM before we would eat.  We ended up having pancakes, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal.

There is something to be said for having breakfast as your Thanksgiving meal.  It’s amazing how much relieved people could be of stress once the tradition of a holiday is shot to Hell.  It isn’t the turkey or the football or the “Monk” marathons that make Thanksgiving.  It’s the people you are thankful for having in your life being in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

November 24, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Personal Life, satire | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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