Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Global Warming

Four inches of snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

Four inches of global warming snow fell in southern Delaware on March 25.

It’s time that we quit crying out “Global Warming” and “Climate Change.”  As I have stated in the past, climate change is a natural occurrence.  It gets cold in the winter before getting warm in the spring (usually) and hot in the winter before cooling off in the fall.

There are people who point out to data which suggests that the earth is getting warmer.  What they don’t tell you is that the person who initially collect the data has admitted that the data is flawed.  Nobody ever mentions that we got out of the Ice Age long before the American revolution.

For the next few weeks, I will be encouraging global warming.  I will be encouraging it until it starts getting hot.  The fight against global warming will resume after Memorial Day.

I have been campaigning and will continue to campaign though postings have been sparse in recent months.  I will be campaigning in New York City on April 5.  I will be picketing Canada’s latest invasion, the Tim Horton’s in Times Square.  Picketing will begin as soon as I get a day’s supply of Timbits.

 

March 27, 2014 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, commentary, environment, foreign policy, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Rethinking my Foreign Policy

War with Iraq is wrong. We should be fighting Canada for allowing William Shatner and Celine Dion to infiltrate our country.

Here is the summary from that link:

  • Wars shall only be fought between 9:00AM and 5:00PM Mondays through Fridays.  This will allow our troops to come home for dinner every night and weekends.  It is important to keep morale high.  There will be no fighting on holidays (American or Canadian)
  • No bombing of hockey rinks, Tim Horton’s, or curling ponds.  We don’t hate Canadians, just the Canadian government, and specifically, those agencies responsible.
  • To show that the Canadians are willing to play fair, they have promised no arctic cold fronts during the summer.

Unfortunately, events have occurred in recent days that have made me think I should revise my foreign policy as it applies to Canada.  I have observed that Canadian people are having a hard time dealing with the fact that the USA hockey team beat their team at their national sport.  The people in Vancouver were booing their Canucks’ Ryan Kesler every time he touched the puck in today’s game between the United States and Switzerland.  They harassed supporters of my campaign when they held “Ahmnodt Heare for President” signs behind the Swiss penalty box.  Security confiscated the signs and escorted them out of the arena.

I have revised my policy as follows:

  • War will still be from 9-to-5.  But there will also be war on Saturdays.  There will be war on Canada Day and Boxing Day unless those days falls on a Sunday.
  • While the ban on bombing Tim Horton’s and hockey rinks are still in effect, the ban on Curling rinks will be lifted.  Curling is not a real sport.  If it was, Americans would have done well at the Olympics.
  • If these actions are not enough, I will sign an executive order forcing tropical warm fronts to invade Canada during outdoor hockey and curling tournaments.

I am a reasonable man.  I am sure we can work things out.

February 24, 2010 Posted by | campaign, Canada, commentary, editorial, entertainment, humor, issues, satire, War | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Like Canadians

I haven’t made myself clear about how I feel about Canadians.  I like the people.  Canadians are cool to have a beer and shoot the breeze with.  I have confused people by wanting a war with Canada.  It is not the Canadian citizens that made me want this war, it’s the Canadian government.

To prove this point, I have stated on several occasions that the war would only be fought on weekdays between 9AM and 5PM.  There would be no fighting on weekends.  I have also stated that no hockey rinks or Tim Horton’s are to be bombed for any reason.

The reason for the war is the actions taken by former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.  He has systematically sent spies like Anne Murray and William Shattner into the United States under the guise as “entertainers.”  This is not a knack against all Canadian entertainers.  I like Rush and Barenaked Ladies.  I liked John Candy and Rick Moranis is a good actor.  It’s the likes of Shattner and Murray (and the spy Celine Dion, who was sent by Brian Mulroney) that get me going.  They have helped destroy America’s greatest export, our entertainment industry.  American entertainment is now more expensive for less quality.  it wouldn’t surprise me if the Cinemafia had Canadians in it, but I can not prove that at this time.

if you are a Canadian, I am sorry if I have offended you in the past.  I felt obligated to show you my decision-making process.

February 11, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, cinemafia, commentary, foreign policy, Platform, satire, War | , , , , , | 3 Comments

Headquarters moving to Michigan

The Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign is moving to Michigan during the week.  The campaign feels it can take advantage of John McCain’s campaign leaving the state.  Ahmnodt Heare will remind the good people of Michigan that John McCain bailed out of the state when times got tough.  He would also make sure people in Michigan don’t forget that Barack Obama didn’t want Michigan to count in the Democratic primary. 

While in Michigan, I will organize volunteers in Detroit and Sault Ste. Marie and have them monitor the border crossings making sure Canadian entertainers do not taint our country.

October 6, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, change, Obama, Platform, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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