Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Potpourri

I am having a hard time spending time writing on any one subject largely due to my mother still being here.  If Mitt Romney is the “Etch-a-Sketch” candidate then I am the “Lite-Brite” candidate.  I always say the same thing, but how pretty the message us depends on the colors of the bulbs.

Global Warming – I don’t normally start fighting it until Memorial Day weekend.  I might have to start fighting it soon though.  Today’s high was 77°F (The normal high in northwestern New Jersey on March 22 is 49F°.)

Tim Tebow – For the first time since Joe Namath was a Jet, there are Jets fans west of the Delaware River.  The Jets might not make the Super Bowl even with Tebow, but people are suddenly buying Jets jerseys.  The Broncos bandwagon is now being painted green and white.

Meetings – This week’s campaign meetings were held telepathically.  I have found a Ouija board to be helpful in getting the messages that I miss.

Zombies – I am not sure they are going to be the demographic that I was hoping they would be.  It seems that the Republicans have been campaigning for their votes with the zombie vote being split between Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich.  Mitt Romney is still getting the vampire vote.

NCAA Tournament – My bracket has more red ink than a federal budget.  No further comment is necessary.

I am trying to talk to my father into coming up tomorrow for the weekend.  I don’t want my mother to know that he might be coming up.  (Mom, if you’re reading this, read something else and resume at the next paragraph.)  If this works, I can get back to normal on Monday.  I have to call my father and ask him to pick up my daughter even though my daughter is afraid of him.

Mom, this is where you can resume reading.  You had no business reading the last two sentences of the previous paragraph.  I’ll be done in the morning on business.  If I finish soon enough, I will be going to Washington to pick up Patricia.

I will be doing some campaigning this weekend.  Where I campaign depends on whether my daughter is here or not.  Her ninth birthday was last weekend and I wasn’t allowed to see her so I get her this weekend.  I bought her a cell phone for her birthday so she can work the phone bank for the campaign.  She has an irresistible voice and might be able to get more people to vote for me than the zombies.

I’ll be there in a minute, Mom! …

March 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, environment, humor, Personal Life, Republicans, satire, Washington | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

Jets fans take heart. If you ignore the mechanics and look at the results, Tebow did lead a 1-4 team to the playoffs and did throw for 316 yards in a playoff game against a stingy defense.

Ahmnodt Heare for President

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

  • He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.

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March 21, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

What I Have Learned From Tim Tebow

My father always says, “Whether you can or you can’t, you have to do it, so do it!”  the premise behind that thinking is that if you don’t dwell on thinking that something can’t be done, you will spend time thinking on how to get it done.  I see a lot of that in Tim Tebow.  He is hardly accurate throwing the ball and people question his ability to compete in the NFL.  He runs a lot for a quarterback, but he’s not very fast.  Despite these glaring shortcomings, he keeps winning.  But how?

I have been looking through Denver Broncos highlights and I watched the last couple games.  Here is what I have learned:

  • He doesn’t give up – He is a firm believer of “It’s not over until it’s over,”  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again,” and countless other cliches that coaches tell their players.
  • He has his team believing they can win (even with him at quarterback) and people tend to do more when they know their objective can be reached.
  • He stays out of trouble (on and off the field) – He doesn’t do drugs, drink, or hang out at the mall or the library.  On the field, he doesn’t fumble, throw the ball to the bad guys, or do stupid things that hurt the team.

This is what I have learned:

  • I gave up once, but I took back down and am preparing for the pitfalls I expect in the 2012 campaign.  I’m not going to win by doing things the traditional way.  This is why my campaign is unconventional – I am campaigning to my strengths.
  • While I am not sure how many people think I can win, I do know many Americans think I am a better candidate than either Obama or any of the Republican candidates.
  • I stay out of trouble (on and off the campaign trail) – I don’t take campaign money from big business (or from anybody else as is evident by the lack of a “PayPal” button on this website.)  And I only patronize legitimate nudie bars recognized by the law.

I wish Tim Tebow luck for the rest of this season as well as in his career.  I have already learned much from him and look forward to learning more.

December 14, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

   

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