Here We Go Again!

I tried to live a normal life, but I was not meant to have a normal life.  Some people can’t work a  9:00AM until 5:00PM job.  A few people can’t eat ordinary processed foods due to various allergies and ailments.  There are even people who insist on setting up a roll of toilet paper with the paper to pull down in front of the roll.

Every time I try to resume a normal life away from politics, something happens and people feel compelled to drag me back in the fire.  There were two things that happened in the last week that got people upset enough that they had to talk to me into running for President.

The first thing was President Obama proposing that voting be mandatory.  Many people are petrified that the only options on a Presidential ballot are Hillary Clinton or Jeb Bush.  I know that the Libertarian, Green, Birthday, and other Parties will have candidates, but most people are conditioned to believe that there are only two candidates.

I mentioned the second point in my most recent blog entry.  My biggest fear with a Ted Cruz “presidency” is that Stephen Harper will be the de facto President of the United States.  If you have seen how badly he is running Canada, there is no way you’d want him to be running our country.

It will take me a while before my campaign is fully operational.  My first order of business is to find a volunteer campaign manager who is not currently in prison or living on a commune because he or she found Harry Kirshner.Hare Krishna.  The campaign should be fully operational by the second weekend of April.

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Limbo Week

This whole week has been weird.  It turns out my “eviction notice” wasn’t an eviction notice, but a notice to vacate the premises so the landlord can do some much needed work to the heating system and bathroom plumbing.  He would have reimbursed me for staying at a hotel.  The only problem is that I have since signed a lease with a condo nearby.  I am not currently under a lease where I am.

I am renting two condos, neither of which are fully habitable, but between the two of them, I have everything I need (except a free outlet for the inflatable doll.)  The place I have been living in has TV, internet, furniture,  (until the friends who promised to help me move the furniture last week move the furniture.)  The new place has gas for cooking, running water, and food.  Below is how today went for me (Bold for current condo, regular for condo which I will move into this weekend)

6:00AM – Wake up and walk the dog. Showered and made bacon and eggs for breakfast.

7:00AM – Watched the “Today Show”.  The diuretics I took in 2008 finally kicked in.

8:00 – Downloaded files I needed for work and took my laptop to the new place.

9:00 – Diuretics kicked in again.  So did laxatives.  Needed toilet paper.  Returned working.

12:00PM – Took my campaign manager out to lunch for his birthday.  We wend Dutch on the meal, but I gave him my Burger King crown.

1:00 – Returned working.  Needed to print out a project at 2:30.

5:00 – Finished working and cooked dinner.

7:30 – Watched “Wheel of Fortune” Microwaved popcorn and watched a movie.  Diuretics.  Changed pants and underpants.

10:00 – Blogged this entry and went to bed.  Hoping I don’t have to wake up at 2:00AM.

Ahmnodt Heare Names Self as Vice-Presidential Candidate

Independent Write-In candidate for President Ahmnodt Heare has named himself as his Vice Presidential candidate for president after former vice-presidential candidate E.D. Yot was caught taking more than one piece of candy from a receptionist’s desk in Altoona, PA.  Yot was visiting a dentist for root canal work and noticed the candy dish shortly after paying his dental bill. 

While taking more than one piece of candy is not necessarily illegal, it is against Ahmnodt Heare’s code of ethics that anyone who is involved in the Heare campaign must follow.  Other codes of conduct include not licking an old lady’s feet without asking her and replacing toilet paper rolls if one finishes a roll of bathroom tissue.