Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Bad Time

The following post is a translation from English to Spammer English.  Spammer English is when an eastern European uses translation software to translate their spam from their native tongue to English.  The original post is “Bad Timing“, originally written in April, 2010.

Spammer English is the paragraphs in bold.  The original paragraph is below in italics.

One of the pitfalls of the campaign is to raise growth and to organize a popular event is that sometimes people pick the strangest times he wants to talk about it. I was atdinner in Denny with my daughter seven years, when people started asking me questions about “Orgies to abstinence.”

One of the pitfalls of having a campaign that is picking up momentum and organizing a popular event is that sometimes people pick the oddest times to want to talk about it.  I was having dinner at Denny’s with my seven-year-old daughter when people started asking me questions about “Orgies for Abstinence.”

I have come to accept that there will be situations in which people will want me and I’ll have a little less time with my daughter than I would. It is part of the territory of the U.S. president. But there are some questions that should not be around children. Not my child, no child, Gomez and Morticia Addams child.

I have come to accept that there will be situations where people will want to see me and I will have some less time with my daughter than I would like.  It is part of the territory with running for President of the United States.  But there are some questions that should not be asked around children.  Not my child, not your child, not Gomez and Morticia Addams’ child.

Seven years has no interest information: “Orgies to abstinence.” She does not need toknow what is orgy. She does not need to know what is abstinence (but it would help ifshe abstained.) She definitely does not need to see her father stumbled when askedwhat orgies and sexual abstinence.

A seven-year-old has no business knowing about “Orgies for Abstinence.”  She doesn’t need to know what an orgy is.  She doesn’t need to know what abstinence is (but it would help if she abstained.)  She definitely doesn’t need to see her father tripped up when she asks what an orgy and abstinence are.

I would like to thank everyone for their continued support and enthusiasm for thecampaign, many of direction “Orgies to abstinence.” If you have any questions, feel free to ask (silently).

I would like to thank everybody for their continued support for my campaign and the unbridled enthusiasm many have towards “Orgies for Abstinence.”  If you have any questions, feel free to ask (discreetly).

Why the rant about spam?  Because every once in a while, legitimate comments get buried in the spam comments.  Askimet (the software WordPress uses to filter out spam) normally does a very good job of filtering out spam while letting legitimate comments be posted.  Once in a while (about 1 in 2000 comments), either a legitimate comment is found in the spam pile or a spam comment is found posted.

I try to read every comment in the spam pile before deleting it.  People have questions they want answered.  Some people are critical of me and my campaign.  These voices need to be heard.  Gibberish comments for Viagra or credit scores do not.

August 25, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor | , , | 2 Comments


The following is a Portuguese translation of  “The Copycats go International” originally posted September 20, 2010.   (O seguinte é uma tradução do Português “O Copycats ir International”, originalmente publicado 20 de setembro de 2010.)

As pessoas me criticaram por fazer campanha em Londres no passado. Minha campanha foi paga em maneiras que eu nunca tinha esperado . A proposta fiscal britânico é exatamente o que eu tenho na minha plataforma .

Eu sou o pioneiro em todo o mundo. Eu vou ter de fazer campanha na Europa mais e obter os europeus a escrever suas Embaixada dos EUA EUA base militar e exigir que eles sejam autorizados a votar para o líder do mundo livre.

Um sinal de liderança política é quando a sua mensagem ressoa com líderes do governo. Eu conheci esse limiar.Você pode votar em alguém para o presidente que vai esperar que eu vou dizer uma coisa nova para que possam reivindicá-lo como a sua idéia. Ou você pode votar para o criador de todas estas novas idéias.

Eu sou a pioneira. Eu sou o criador de novas idéias. Eu sou o criador de tendências. Por favor vote em mim para presidente em 2012.

September 24, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, satire | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on O COPYCATS IR INTERNATIONAL

J’ai raté mon tour (I Missed My Turn)

NOTE: Je suis actuellement dans une station de police du Québec. J’ai été admis à un blog pour autant que je suivre les lois du Québec du blogging et le lieu de la première traduction française.

NOTE: I am currently in a police station in Quebec.  I was allowed to blog providing that I follow Quebec laws of blogging and place the French translation first.

Je me dirigeais à Dixville Notch et manqué la sortie. Avant que je le savais, j’ai vu un tas de noms de rues en français. Je partais pour New Hampshire quand un local de Québec policier m’a tiré dessus.

I was heading to Dixville Notch and missed the exit.  Before I knew it, I saw a bunch of street signs in French.  I was heading back to New Hampshire when a local Quebec police officer pulled me over.

Mon feu arrière droit était sorti. Je n’avais pas mon passeport avec moi parce que je n’avais pas l’intention de venir au Canada.  J’ai été élevé à la Station Chartierville police et détenu pendant la nuit. La police m’a demandé ce que je faisais au Canada et je leur ai dit que j’ai raté mon tour.

My right taillight was out.  I did not have my passport with me because I had no intention of going to Canada.  I was brought to the Chartierville Police Station and held there overnight.  The police asked me what I was doing in Canada and I told them I missed my turn.

J’étais sur le point d’être envoyé gratuitement lors de l’un des policiers m’a reconnu. Il a dit: “Vous êtes le Canada haïr Ahmnodt Heare! Les autres officiers en riant. L’un d’eux m’a montré la première page du journal avec Sidney Crosby marqué le but gagnant pour le Canada contre les États-Unis pour la médaille d’or en hockey.

I was about to be sent free when one of the officers recognized me.  He said, “You are the Canadian-hating Ahmnodt Heare!”  The other officers laughed.  One of them showed me the front page of the newspaper with Sidney Crosby scoring the winning goal for Canada against the United States in the Gold Medal hockey game.

Je suis techniquement libres et je suis actuellement dans le hall d’attente de la police pour l’un des policiers. Il a dit qu’il avait un certain nombre de choses qu’il voulait me donner. Il est là maintenant avec un couple de CD et un chandail de hockey. Il s’avère que les CD sont par Celine Dion et Anne Murray, ainsi qu’un DVD de l’original “Star Trek”. Le chandail de hockey d’une réplique du chandail d’Équipe Canada, une fois portés par un de mes préférés Capitals de Washington, Dale Hunter

I am technically free and am currently in the police lobby waiting for one of the policemen.  He said he had a few things he wanted to give me.  He is here now with a couple of CDs and a hockey jersey.  It turns out the CDs are by Celine Dion and Anne Murray as well as a DVD of the original “Star Trek”.  The hockey jersey a replica of the Team Canada jersey once worn by one of my favorite Washington Capitals, Dale Hunter.

Je suis libre d’aller et pars pour New Hampshire.

I am free to go and am off to New Hampshire.

March 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, Canada, commentary, foreign policy, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on J’ai raté mon tour (I Missed My Turn)


The website can now be translated in the following languages:

Chinese 中文

French Français

Italian Italiano

Pig Latin Igpay Atinlay

Spanish Español

Swedish Svenska

February 11, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, foreign policy | , , , , , , | Comments Off on Translations

Why Movies Are Expensive (A Pig Latin Speech)

The following is the “Another Reason Why Movies Are Expensive” post from February 1, 2009 written in Pig Latin.  I will occasionally translate posts into other languages so that Americans who don’t speak English do not feel excluded.  Today, I am reaching out to the Pig Latino community.

Herethay ereway 5 ommercialscay orfay oviesmay uringday ethay Upersay Owlbay.  Isthay amountsway otay $15 illionmay inway advertisingway orfay 2 1/2 inutesmay ofway adsway.  Ostmay ofway esethay oviesmay on’tway ebay inway eatersthay orfay away ewfay onthsmay.  Iway illway orgetfay aboutway esethay oviesmay ybay ethay imetay eythay areway eleasedray unlessway eythay avehay oremay adsway, ichwhay illway ostcay oremay oneymay.  Ifway eythey aitedway untilway ustjay eforebay ethay eleaseray ateday, eythay ouldcay avehay avedsay $3 illionmay erpay oviemay.

Aybemay it’sway otnay osay uchmay ethay Inemafiacay isway evilway asway itway isway upidstay.  Eythay aypay Omtay Uisecray $31 illionmay orfay everyway oviemay ehay appearsway inway.  Iway ouldway oday 20 oviesmay orfay $31 illionmay.  Ethay oblempray ithway ethay economyway (asideway omfray ethay Inemafiacay) iswat atthay ethay onlyway endingspay utscay ompaniescay areway akingmay areway inway ayrollpay.  Eythay areway eitherway uttingcay hoursway, aypay atesray, orway obsjay.  Eythay illstay uybay ompanycay tway-irtsshay, offeecay ugsmay andway otherway apcray atthay ostmay employeesway on’tday eallyray arecay orfay.  Eythay owknay atthay ickknay-acksknay ostcay esslay anthay oneymay.  Asway esidentpray, Iway ouldway utpay away anbay onway ompanycay ickknay-acksknay andway orcefay emthay otay eitherway aypay oremay orway irehay oremay.

Ahmnodtway Earehay orfay Americaway. Ahmnodtway Earehay orfay ouyay.

February 3, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, cinemafia, commentary, economy, editorial, Platform | , , , , | Comments Off on Why Movies Are Expensive (A Pig Latin Speech)

Ahmnodt en Español!

Acabo de acabar de leer una historia sobre cocodrilos de la alcantarilla y decidido debo ahora actuar.  Primero era los delfínes del humpback, ahora este fiasco con los cocodrilos de la alcantarilla.

Los cocodrilos de la alcantarilla son importantes para el ecosistema.  Comen las heces y otros materiales de desecho que los otherwies serían descargados en el río de Hudson.

Los críticos dicen que el cocodrilo de la alcantarilla es peligroso.  Son solamente peligrosa si están sacada de su ambiente natural y forzada para ser alimentado como una Florida Aligator.  La mayor parte de estos críticos no saben poco o nada sobre animales y su habitat natural.

Estaré en la primera cosa de New York City mañana por la mañana.  Poner fin a este acto henious.

vía Al-Qaida el No. 2 insulta Obama en nuevo mensaje audio

Esta vez sabemos el nombre del individuo siguiente del número 2 que vamos a matar.  Él es al-Zawahri de Ayman, y él es el más último de línea a la posición fatal del trabajo.

La economía es resistente y los trabajos son escasos, pero cuando veo una abertura de trabajo para “el individuo de número dos de Al-Qaeda”, yo apenas la saltan y buscan una posición menos fatal del trabajo.

Pienso que sé porqué ha llamado “la posición del ″ del número 2.
Si me eligen presidente, mi primer decreto será declarar a Osama bin Laden como el individuo del número 2.

November 20, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, election, satire | , , , | Comments Off on Ahmnodt en Español!


%d bloggers like this: