Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

King Ahmnodt I

I have run into some difficulty in my latest attempt to run for President.  While people have shown overwhelming enthusiasm for my platform, there hasn’t been enough people.  While I continue to lead Presidential candidates in the quality of support, it hasn’t turned to the quantity of support (votes).

Another problem I am having is that 2016 is a long time away (By 2016, I really mean January 20, 2017 – the day I would take office).  It’s a short time to get a quality campaign capable of winning a nationwide election without spending a dime.  It’s an eternity for Obama to mess up things more than they already more and making it impossible for anybody (even me) to clean up all of his messes in only four years.

A true leader takes matters into his own hands.  This is why I have declared myself “King of the United States of America”.  I am not going to be a power-hungry king.  The only immediate action I am taking as King is to have Canadian Spy Justin Bieber deported to Canada where he belongs.

Some of you might remember that I have been a harsh critic of royalty in recent years.  Below is a video of a tweet I had tweeted that was read on WPIX in New York:

It seems that America is hungry for a King.  The news and social networks have been talking about nothing but the birth of a royal baby all day.  This royal baby born today isn’t even American royalty.  We need American royalty to help fix this country.  I am honored to have selected myself to be the first American King.

July 22, 2013 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, Canada, humor, Obama, Platform, politics, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Tweet Number 6000 #ForSale

Click to read my latest tweets and follow me on Twitter!

Tweets, Following, and Followers accurate as of 8/30/2012 at 7:25PM EDT. Your mileage may vary.

Here is your chance to get some publicity for your business. Here is how this will work:

  1. Submit your bid to ahmnodtheare@politician.com as soon as possible.  Bid should include amount as a phone number to call should you are the winner.  Billing will be discussed by phone.
  2. Contest will end when I reach my 5,990 tweet.
  3.  If you win, you will be allowed to submit a tweet up to 134 characters.  Six spaces will be reserved for ” #6000″ so others will know it is my 6000th tweet.
  4. My 5999th tweet will announce the winning bid as well as the day and time the winner wishes the tweet to be released.
  5. I will use your company’s logo as my profile background from when I tweet my 5999th tweet until seven days after I release my 6000th tweet.
  6. Void where prohibited.  (I don’t know where it’s prohibited, but I threw in the disclaimer to make this look legitimate.)

All bids will be kept secret.  A complete list of bids will be available to anyone who wishes to see it when the winner is announced.  Good luck to one and all!

August 30, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, Social Networking | , , , , | 2 Comments

Debating Debating

There is yet another debate tonight.  This one is in Arizona and will air on CNN at 8:00PM Eastern / 6:00PM Mountain.  I was debating on whether I was going to do anything in real time.  I have come to the conclusion that the Republicans are afraid of me and will not invite me to debate them.  The other candidates have tried to refrain from mentioning me, but they can’t help but slip an ad hominem attack; saying false things like “Ahmnodt Heare to continue’s Obama’s economic policies.”

I have decided to debate.  Though there have been 22 debates already, there hasn’t been a debate in almost a month.  There is only one debate among the Republicans after today and it won;t be until March 19.  I have decided to tweet my debate answers and rebuttals on Twitter because it will help me keep my answers short.  My tweets will appear on your Facebook wall if you are my Facebook friend.  I will accept friends until the start of the debate and after the debate.  I will answer to replies or questions posted on Facebook or on Twitter so feel free to ask!  (It’s not like Wolf Blitzer is going to ask me a question tonight.)

February 22, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, debate, election, humor, politics, Republicans, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , | 2 Comments

2011 – The Debacle (January-March)

“Duh, Winning!”

January:

2011 was a bad year all around.  While the future of Egypt and Wisconsin were in balance, we were more concerned with Charlie Sheen and his goddesses.  (I am guilty of the latter).  I took a look on how Washington and the federal agencies will affect us in 2011.  With the exception of us still having Saturday mail, I nailed it.


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February:

A nightmare in my personal life.  My bathroom all but exploded due to a leak from my upstairs neighbor’s bathroom.  Both of my parents got hurt shoveling during a snowstorm and I had to take care of them for what seemed to be a month (but was only for three days.)  My warnings of the Cinemafia started to show that on some things, I know what I am talking about.

March:

The “birthers” compelled me to show my birth certificate.  I finally was mentioned on TV via one of my tweets.  I also mentioned my “Getting America Back to Work” plan.  But March was not too rosy for the campaign.  I had forgotten to mention that the infamous “Walk-a-Thon for Affordable Entertainment Awareness” was canceled in October.  I thought the almost daily blog entries since would have helped people figure that out, but it didn’t.

Tomorrow I will review April through June.

December 27, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, entertainment, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2011 – The Debacle (January-March)

2011 – A Look Back (Goals)

I had high hopes for 2011.  Not only did I not reach any of the goals I had set for the campaign, I did not get high.  Below are the goals I had set for 2011:2011 – 151475 total hits (415.00 hits/day) [projected]

Below are my goals I had set for the campaign for 2011.

  1. Averaging 500 unique hits per day on this website.
  2. 1,000,000  results when people search for “Ahmnodt Heare” on Google.  (we are currently at 17,600)
  3. Enough write-in votes in upcoming 2012 primaries (Democratic and Republican).
  4. At least 1,000 blogs mentioning Ahmnodt Heare and the campaign.
  5. An “Ahmnodt Girl” video.
  6. At least five national television appearances (broadcast or cable).
  7. One scandal involving a multitude of women.  (More people are talking about Tiger Woods now than ever before!)
Not only did the number of hits get nowhere 500 a day, they went down for 2011.  I blame this on the CineMafia and America’s hidden love affair for all things Atlanta Falcons.  While I am nowhere near a million results when searching on Google, I am approaching 30,000 when the safe filter is off.  (The number dwindles to 47 when using the safe filter.)  My worst target was hoping 1,000 blogs would write something about my campaign.  It turns out that only 10 blogs mentioned me (9 of which were in the comments section after I had left a comment.)
I am optimistic that 2012 will be the year that someone steps up and does the “Ahmnodt Girl” video.  While I didn’t have an actual appearance, my tweets did.  (One on MSNBC and two on local TV.)  I couldn’t get myself in a scandal no matter how hard I tried.  My scandal plans failed, everything from sending tweets of myself to writing racist newsletters fell upon deaf eyes and ears.  Even the “running into the ladies’ locker room naked” at the gym backfired as there were no women in there when I did it.
My resolution for 2012 is simple:  Learn from my mistakes.  I will learn from my mistakes as soon as I learn what the mistakes I made were.

December 26, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Me vs Them – Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen should not be a political issue.  But just in case they plan on making him a political issue, I already have counterpoints.

If Michele Bachmann was to accuse him of being sexist because of his “goddesses” I would say they are goddesses and are placed on a pedestal.  If Newt Gingrich was to say that Charlie Sheen’s life is morally bankrupt, I would counter by stating that at least he never had soldiers die for oil.  And since it’s Newt, I’ll add that while Charlie might have had a fling or two, he didn’t cheat on his wife while she had cancer like Newt did.

I don’t know what beef President Obama has with Mr. Sheen, but I would like to remind the President that Charlie Sheen voted for him in 2008.  That was only because my 2008 campaign sucked Donkey Kong.  My 2012 campaign is growing leaps and bounds.  While my television exposure has been limited to a couple of tweets read on TV and other mentions of me limited to subliminal advertising, the campaign continues to grow by word-of-mouth and by celebrity endorsements.

This post is part of the “Me vs. Them” series.  Come back often to see the entire series.

May 30, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, issues, Obama, politics, satire | , , , | 2 Comments

The Tweeting Project

If you have a Twitter account like I do, you like to write small notes and read notes of others. I like to log on twice a day:  First thing in the morning and just before or after dinner.  Sometimes I’ll log on and tweet just to let people know I am still alive.

Below is a post I tweeted around 8PM Mountain Time last night:

Ground Zero mosque critics don’t understand what it means to be American: http://tinyurl.com/29cwpe8

The Tweeting Project is simple.  All you have to do is copy what I am posting below and tweet it on your account.

#AhmnodtHeare for America.  Ahmnodt Heare for You.  Ahmnodt Heare for President. http://tinyurl.com/ahmnodt

If you feel like tweeting about the campaign or about me, Just replace “Ahmnodt Heare” with “#AhmnodtHeare” in your tweet.  The “#AhmnodtHeare” allows those who are looking for more information about me to have all the information on one page.  I will dedicate a blog entry to the best #AhmnodtHeare tweets when I get back from vacation next weekend.

I am getting ready for the big hike today in the San Luis mountain range in Colorado followed by an afternoon of Bluegrass music.  It is nice to be able to hike without broken bones this year.

August 21, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, satire, Social Networking | , , , , , , | 7 Comments

   

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