Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Sandy Controversy

A lot of Hurricane Sandy doesn’t make sense, especially when compared to similar hurricanes that have gone up the Atlantic coastline in the past.  Here are a few reasons why I think Sandy is a manufactured storm created by the government:

  • Most hurricanes stay away from cold fronts.  Sandy is expected to make a head-on collision with a cold front currently in eastern Ohio.
  • The air temperature in the days before a hurricane is usually warmer than normal and the air is normally oppressively humid.  The temperature has been below normal for the last few days and the air isn’t very humid.
  • The unemployment rate in New Jersey is currently 9.8%.  The entire state is expected to be devastated by Sandy.  A lot of people will be needed with the cleanup and rebuilding.  A classic case of “Broken Windows Economics”.
  • Election Day is a week from Tuesday.  With all of these people getting jobs, the October jobs report to be released Friday morning will show an increase in employment (largely due to cleanup and restoration due to Sandy.)

Other “coincidences” include the hurricane making landfall during an astronomical high time.  There will be a prolonged saturation of rain and wind in an area that is already oversaturated by recent rains.  This will lead to downed trees and power lines, closed roads, and a prolonged period away from the nudie bar.

I’m not normally big on conspiracy theories, but I can’t help but think that this is president Obama’s “October Surprise” and that the Cinemafia was instrumental in helping Obama in a diabolical scheme to see that I do not get elected President.

October 28, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, cinemafia, commentary, economy, humor, Obama, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2012 (You Heard It Here First)

2012 will be a worse year than 2011 for many people.  It can be a great year for you if you have a little insight.  I shall try my best to provide that impact.  I know who will win the general election in 2012, but will not post it because I still want you to go vote (for me) on Election Day.

Unemployment will rise again in 2012.  Now is a good time to start planning a self-proprietorship.  I am the only candidate with a viable jobs program, but even my plan will take some time before the unemployed will reap the benefits of having a job.

Crime will increase.  This is not because we are becoming bad people, but because almost everything will be a crime.  In fact, you no longer have to be charged with a crime to be detained.  You could someday be arrested for reading this blog.  (Don’t worry, I will pardon you for reading this blog once I take office.)

Super Bowl XLVI – If you ignore my predictions throughout the year on my other blog as well as the 2011 season predictions, then you are for the most part better off.  I will stand by my prediction of a Detroit Lions – Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl.

More evidence will surface of the claims I have made against the Cinemafia and Canadian spy Justin Bieber.  The campaign teams of the candidates for president will scour through this blog for ideas to boost their campaign chances.  (And I will expose them for the copycats that they are.)

This has nothing to do with predictions, but I need a place to say this.  Gooogling “Ahmnodt” isn’t nearly as offensive as Googling “Santorum.” That, and I am less offensive than him as well.

Have a happy, safe, prosperous, (insert perky adjective here) New Year!

January 4, 2012 Posted by | commentary, editorial, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 2012 (You Heard It Here First)

Inside the Numbers

The business courses I took in college has helped me look at numbers without getting overly baffled or falling asleep.  Unemployment numbers are supposedly falling, but there are some things I am seeing that would tend to seem otherwise.

One of the things I look at when determining unemployment rates is traffic over a course of a day.  Traffic should be heaviest between 6:00AM and 9:00AM and between 3:00PM and 6:00PM.  The roads are usually light between 9:00AM and 3:00PM with the only people driving are seniors, stay-at-home moms and dads, people who drive as part of their job, and the unemployed.

While the senior population is rising, it is not rising at a skyrocketing rate.  stay-at-home moms are working raising children.  They drive to the supermarket and to stores shopping for the family during the day (often with their children.)  People who drive as part of their jobs include pizza deliverers, police, sales and businesspeople, and drug dealers.  Traffic from these people hasn’t increased.

This leaves the unemployed.  I know that the spike is from unemployment because traffic has gotten lighter during rush hours (especially the morning rush, when many unemployed people are still sleeping.)  One would think the unemployed would spend their driving time driving to job interviews and to businesses to pick up job applications.  But they also can be found at places people who have a limited income due to a lack of a job probably do not belong.  They can be found at stores, at the gym (membership fees are not cheap), and at the nudie bar.

I usually determine economic growth by a different measurement than the numbers spewed by business publications.  I determine the growth of the economy by the number of tractor-trailers on the interstates.  The more tractor-trailers on the interstates, the more goods are being delivered and bought and the better the economy is.  There hasn’t been a lot of trucks on the highways for a couple of years with no real increase worth bragging about.  Notice there hasn’t been a story about a tired truck driver causing an accident lately?  It could be because there are fewer loads that need to be delivered.  There are also fewer tractor-trailer driving school commercials on TV during Jerry Springer.

When you hear a statistic, it is important to find the meaning of the statistic.  If the things you are seeing are contradicting the numbers, then chances are you are correct and the numbers are wrong.

December 22, 2011 Posted by | commentary, economy, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments

SPECIAL REPORT: The Media and Why We’re Screwed

I do not agree with Newt Gingrich on much.  (I usually refer to him as “The Newtered One.”)  Last night he reported that the media hasn’t been reporting the economy accurately and he is correct.  The example I wished he use was the correlation between jobs created and the unemployment rate.  Many economists state what approximately 120,000 jobs have to be created every month just to keep the unemployment rate stable.  Only 40,000 jobs were created in October, yet the unemployment rate dropped from 9.1% to 9%.  When something like this happens, it’s usually because more people ran out of unemployment benefits than found jobs.  This isn’t what the media told us.  They told us that the unemployment rate is dropped and that President Obama’s plan to create jobs is working.  All the unemployment rate dictates is how many people are collecting benefits.  The 80,000 people who neither found jobs nor will collect benefits this week are not unemployed according to the government.

But it gets worse.  The media has a strange way of prioritizing news stories.  Washington National’s catcher Wilson Ramos was kidnapped yesterday in Venezuela.  That’s right, kidnapped.  Whether this makes the top news story depends on what else is happening in the world.  But this should at the very least been the top sports story.  It was not.  The top sports story (according to the media) was that Joe Paterno was fired for not reporting child sex acts performed by former Defensive Coordinator Jerry Sandusky to the police.  Paterno did report it to the Athletic Director of Penn State, but it was left there.

Meanwhile, Wilson Ramos is still kidnapped and is still being held at gunpoint against his will.  I am not trying to dismiss child molestation.  I have spoken out strongly against pedophilia in the past.  Kidnapping is a serious crime, but because it’s not a sex crime like pedophilia is, Wilson Ramos isn’t going to get the press coverage that Joe Paterno is getting.

Most Americans get their news from the media.  And while many Americans can tell you that Barack Obama is running for President as well as Mitt Romney, Herman Cain, and Rick Perry are running for President; how many Americans can tell you that Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Jon Huntsman, and Ahmnodt Heare are also running?

A decision is best made when all the facts are presented and properly prioritized.  When given limited facts in a disarray, the decisions made are more likely to be wrong.

November 10, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, issues, media, Obama, satire | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Tax Policy and Unemployment

I believe that unemployment can be lowered by offering tax cuts to companies that hire people and increase taxes on companies that can afford to hire people but opt not to.

November 9, 2011 Posted by | commentary, debate, economy, humor, Oakland, satire, taxes | , , | Comments Off on Tax Policy and Unemployment

BP, Where Are You?

The oil spill is everywhere in the news.  It’s on ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, Cartoon Network, and the local news shows.  They show miles of empty beached drizzled with tar balls.  There are few beach goers and even fewer people picking up the tar balls.  Most of the tar balls seem to be picked up by sun worshipers who accidentally step on them and it gets stuck to the flip-flops.

There are tens of thousands who are unemployed along the Gulf coast.  BP should hire those people to clean up the beaches and the Gulf.  The first people I would hire would be the fishermen and the other people who have lost jobs as a result of the oil spill.  It would be cheaper for BP to clean the mess than for them to have the government clean the spill and bill BP.  They could pay the workers less because they’re not union employees.  And because they’re not union employees, they will get the job done in a more timely manner.

We are all tried of hearing about the oil spill, but the people most tired are those whose livelihood has been affected.  BP should try not to be like the Obama administration.  They should listen to me.  President Obama hasn’t listened to me and unemployment is now at almost 10%.  The price of movies keeps increasing, and more Canadian spies are infiltrating the American entertainment industry.  It would be in America’s best interest for BP to heed my advice.

June 6, 2010 Posted by | commentary, editorial, environment, humor, media, Obama, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Questions About Health Care

Now that the Senate version of the health care bill is now law (it passed by a 219-212 vote), I have a few questions that I hope somebody can answer for me.

  • The antics in Washington have made me sick on and off for a few years.  Is this considered a “preexisting condition” and if it is, when will I be able to get insurance for it?
  • I heard that only a portion of the health care law will be in effect right away with the rest of the law not taking effect until 2014.  Which portions take effect now?  With my luck, only the taxing part takes effect now.
  • If I adopt a dog, would I be able to get health insurance for it?
  • Now that health insurance is going to be mandated, if I don’t get health insurance and am forced to pay a fine, where do they think I am going to get the money to get to pay the fine?

Many Americans are unhappy with this as am I.  I want you to remember this in 2012 that I would have vetoed this if I was President.  The Democrats will feel the brunt of this decision in November as many legislators will soon be alongside their fellow constituents looking for work.  It will be harder for them to find work because they will have to look for employment for a company who got shafted by the new health care law.

I don’t want to make this blog entry as a free pass to vote Republican.  Those of us with a memory realize that it wasn’t too long ago that Republicans had both houses of Congress and the White House.  People voted Democrats to try to atone for Republican failures.  We need to break the vicious cycle of replacing one failure with another.  This can only be done by voting third party candidates and independents like myself.

March 22, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, Democrats, editorial, election, health care, Republicans, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on Questions About Health Care

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