Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Following the Leader

NOTE: This entry was written by Albee Thayer.  Ahmnodt will resume tomorrow.

Ahmnodt Heare asked me to write something today while he observes Vanna White Day (whatever that is.)  I will discuss some of the things I have learned from Ahmnodt since he named me to be his running mate.

  • Campaigning in cemeteries – I still have a lot of learning to do.  I don’t know how Ahmnodt is able to know he is getting results, but I can’t tell.  I talk to them, but I can’t tell if what I am saying is getting through.
  • Campaigning abroad – Not only have I been campaigning for the Heare and Thayer ticket, but when I am in Mexico, I have been campaigning with Independent candidate for President Noes Toiaqui.
  • Adding to the platform.  Ahmnodt asked me if there was anything I wanted to add.  I didn’t have an answer then, but I have been working on it.  It will be on voting reform and I hope to present it next week.

I watched the few Republican debates, but it’s been like getting root canal done by an auto mechanic.  I haven’t watched lately but I heard I am better off for that.  I am preparing to debate Joe Biden and whoever will be the vice-president candidates for the Republican Party and Vermin Supreme.

The campaign trail awaits me.  I’ll be out there.  Albee Thayer for America.  Albee Thayer for You.

February 18, 2012 Posted by | Albee, campaign, election, humor, issues, Platform, politics, Republicans, satire | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Third Annual “I Have a New Running Mate” Post

If I have a weakness with my campaign, it’s my inability to keep a running mate.  Whether the problem was because the stress of being a candidate got to them or they said bad things about Vanna White, I go through more vice presidential candidates than Kenny dies in South Park.  This time I think I got it.

His name is Albee Thayer.  He is a rancher in the Abilene, Texas area.  The greatest day in his life was when he found out he was born on the exact same day as Vanna.  (Damned right I’m jealous!)  He is totally on board with my campaign and has dedicated 50 acres of his ranch to help out with my health care plan.

I finally have a candidate who fits all of the qualifications (35 or older, American, no prison record, disdain of Justin Bieber’s music) and has the time and energy required to campaign an international candidate.

The word is getting out.  “Heare and Thayer 2012”

September 27, 2011 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, humor, politics, satire, Vanna White | , , , , | 3 Comments

Kicking it Up a Notch

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich will announce his intentions for running for President sometime next week.  The rest of the year will be filled with other presidential hopefuls.  I see this as two things:  That my days of running unopposed are numbered and that I had a 20-month head start and that might be too overwhelming for my competitors.

I have already planned my vacation from August 14-29.  It will include my second annual trip to Blanca Fest  and Saguache County, Colorado. I will drive to Colorado this year as this will allow me time to campaign during the drive from New Jersey.  I’ll be stopping in Cleveland, Chicago, Des Moines, Grand Rapids Nebraska, and Baltimore.  The return trip will include Kansas City, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Akron, and Las Vegas.

What the next presidents owes to the American people (whether it’s me, media Goddess Sarah Palin, or some other schmuck:

  • A health care plan that is affordable for the American people that will not bankrupt the government.
  • Jobs that pay well enough to afford the essentials:  Food, shelter, water, clothing, and entertainment.
  • An education system that allows people to learn how bad government is.
  • Replacing “Presidents’ Day” with Vanna White’s Birthday (February 18) as a national holiday.

There are 28 months until the 2012 General Election.  Together we can make this work and elect a working-class American as President of the United States.  (I mean me).

July 13, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, economy, education, health care, humor, satire | , , , , | 2 Comments

Roommate Wanted

Circumstances that have unfolded have compelled me to make one of my bedrooms available for rent.  The bedroom I am renting out is the master bedroom with its own bathroom.  Things we will share include the living room, dining room, kitchen, patio, and your girlfriend (if you have one.)

My bedroom is off limits.  There isn’t much in there.  I am only in there for two reasons and one of them is sleeping.  I am not to be disturbed when I am in my bedroom.

The third bedroom is my office.  I work out of my home and am often in my office.  I have sensitive client material that must be kept private.  The porn DVDs are also in there and are only available for my private viewing.

Rent is $400/month with the first month;s rent due upon moving in.  There are a few simple rules that must be followed:

  • No illegal substances allowed on the premises,  This includes marijuana, heroin, opium, enriched uranium, cocaine, and any other substance that is illegal.  I have a sever-year-old daughter and I do not want her exposed to that stuff until she is in high school.
  • No loud music between 7:30 PM and 8:00 PM on Mondays through Fridays.  “Wheel of Fortune” will be watched in peace.
  • You will have to be elsewhere on February 18.  I will credit one’s day rent and pay for one night’s stay at a local hotel.  February 18 is Vanna White’s birthday.
  • No live animal sacrifices – It’s hare to get animal blood stains out of carpets.

You will find that I am easy to get along with.  There will also be times when I will not be home as I campaign for president throughout America and Europe.  If you are interested, you can reach me through the “Contacts” tab of this blog.

June 21, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , , | 5 Comments

Thank You For Caring

It’s been a while since I have had two entries in one day.  But I have a lot to be thankful for and there are some people I would like to thank:

  • BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg – For caring about me.  I am only 5’8″.  It makes me feel at ease that Mr. Svanberg cares about me and other “small people.”
  • BP CEO Tony Hayward – For not saying anything today.
  • Stumblers – For the 93 people who have stumbled upon my earlier entry today with StumbleUpon.
  • Vanna White – Just because.

The entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign would like to thank you for reading my blog and invite you to come back.

June 16, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Purpose of This Blog

There is a misconception about this blog that I must address immediately.  The last thing I want to happen is for people to ruin their lives because they misinterpret the reason why I have been blogging about my campaign for the last two years.

The purpose of this blog is NOT to demonstrate that anybody can run for President of the United States.  In fact, I am hoping that people would be discouraged from running for President.  I am not just talking about the average person.  I am including those who the media thinks can run for President like Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, and Barack Obama.

The only reason why I am running for President is because there are issues that Americans care about that today’s politicians are not addressing.  Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are talking about the high price of entertainment.  I haven’t heard anybody talk about making Vanna White’s birthday a national holiday.  They are more concerned with what President Obama offered Congressman Joe Sestak than the issues affecting Americans.

The truth is that I am not running for President because I want to.  I am running because I have to.  If there is somebody who  feels the way I do and can get as many votes as I plan to get in 2012, then I will step down and let him or her run.

Running for president takes a lot of time, commitment, dedication, and sacrifice.  It is not for most Americans.  I have missed out on my daughter’s last two birthdays.  Money that could be spent on a new car, home improvements, or a Starbucks coffee is being spent on campaigning.  I sometimes go days at a time when I cannot watch “Wheel of Fortune.”  It is a tough grind, especially when your opponents’ supporters harass you and your supporters.

If you are thinking about running for President, please think about what I have just mentioned before deciding to run.  You’ll save yourself a lot of frustration and disappointment.

May 31, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Support Base

Like any other successful campaign, my campaign resonates with some groups better than with others.  Also like other successful campaigns, I do not always choose who wants to support me.

There are many groups that I am honored to carry their endorsement.  The groups include (but are not limited to):

  • Vanna White Supremacists National Charter (As well as many of the state and local charters)
  • Fans of the late Billy Mays
  • Jim Traficant supporters
  • The deceased

As honored as I am to received endorsements from these groups, there are a few groups that I wish didn’t endorse me.  Not because I don’t appreciate their endorsement, but because people tend to think that because they endorse you, that you automatically endorse them.  After all, people who belong to fringe groups like “Aryan Nation”, the Republican and Democratic Parties and Goldman-Sachs all vote with their interests in mind.  Here are a few groups that have decided for whatever reason to support my campaign:

  • Unemployed porn stars
  • Malaysian webmasters of pornographic websites
  • Canadians

I do not agree with many of the positions with the groups mentioned above, but they are people and their voices need to be heard.  Instead of dismissing people because I don’t agree with them on everything, I seek common issues and build a coalition.  I don’t know why some people endorse me, but I do know that the issues I talk about resonates with a lot of voters.

April 21, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, Democrats, editorial, endorsement, humor, issues, Republicans, satire | , , , , , | 4 Comments

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