Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Vernon Needs My Help!

My new town is messed up.  I have lived here in Vernon for two years.  I have never see a town deteriorate so fast.  I know that I said yesterday that the only job I was interested in was President and I went to a long discussion why I couldn’t be a senator.

My town of Vernon, New Jersey has three major issues:  Bears (the largest bear population in the U.S. per square mile), cameras at stop lights, and the repeal of the grass-size limit on lawns.  Property taxes are too high,  and we get little for what we pay.

I wanted to run for Mayor, but things are done a bit differently here.  We elect five town council members and the council members choose which one of them will become the mayor.  There is some things I can do as a town council member.  In addition to tackling the issues above, I can help get a movie theater in Vernon and name the street that movie theater is on “Celine Dion Street.”

I would also write legislation that would ban blogging on April Fools’ Day.  Or I would at least mandate that an April Fool’s blog intended to fool people end with “APRIL FOOL’S”.


April 1, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, commentary, editorial, legislation, satire | , , , , , | Comments Off on Vernon Needs My Help!

My Neighborhood

I mentioned yesterday that I am on a staycation and I am spending the rest of the holiday weekend in my neighborhood.  I just found out that I live next to Mountain Creek Water Park.  I will spend a day there if it ever stops raining and starts warming up.

Dinner was at the McAfee Diner and Deli on Route 94.  I overheard the customer in the table behind me explain to his dinner companion about “cap and trade”.  He said that government had no right telling businesses how to run their businesses.  I told him that I agree and told him about the woes of my friend Darrell Watkins.  The government shut down his portable pharmaceutical company because they did not see the medicinal benefits of meth, crack cocaine, or heroin.  They also said Darrell didn’t have a license to sell drugs.  The man gave me a strange look.

I will spend today at the Crystal Springs Spa.  It will probably be crowded with the holiday weekend, but I will feel up to being in public after a nice massage.

July 2, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ahmnodt the Fiscal Conservative

If you want to vote for a true fiscal conservative, candidate Ahmnodt Heare has McCain and Obama beat.

Projected Spending for campaigns for October, 2008:

Obama: $110,000,000
McCain: $70,000,000
Heare: $.30

I didn’t want to spend the 30 cents, but I needed a couple of posters for tonight’s Meet-and-Greet in Vernon, NJ. My campaign is run solely on word-of-mouth campaigning and volunteer enthusiasm.

In these tough economic times, it’s just not right to ask people to part with their hard-earned money to spend on a political campaign.  I believe that people should use their money for what they want to:  entertainment, booze, and (starting on November 1), discounted Halloween candy.

If you want to live in a lifetime of perpetual debt, then feel free to vote for John Obama or Barack McCain.  If you want to quit sending money to Washington, vote for the candidate who will quit spending it:  Ahmnodt Heare.

October 23, 2008 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, debt, Democrats, economy, election, issues, Obama, Platform, Republicans, satire, speech | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


%d bloggers like this: