Transitions

I am undergoing a series of transitions in my life.  The whole process should take a couple months.  It could take a lot less time if things break my way.  I am in the process of moving to Maryland.  Below are the reasons:

• My parents are not doing well.  My mother suffered a stroke and has yet to fully recover.  My father becomes lost when he has to cook his own meals.   
• Every time it was my weekend for custody of my daughter, I have been reminded that it is winter.  This weekend is supposed to be freezing rain.
• Cigarettes are cheaper in Maryland.  They’re expensive in New Jersey and I would need a loan to buy a pack in New York City.  If I am doing business in Virginia, I could buy cigarettes for dirt cheap compared to what I currently pay.
• My business is slowing down here.  Many small businesses are closing and few new ones are starting up.  I do not know how I will fare businesswise in Maryland, but most of my current clients are set up that I can work from home with minimal trips back to New Jersey.
• Lottery tickets have a better payout in Maryland.  Funds for the lottery in both states go towards education.  I have always been someone who demands a good return on my investments.  Since our children aren’t getting any smarter, the only other payout is winning on tickets.  Maryland lottery tickets offers more winners than New Jersey does.

For those who are wondering about what the “sequester” talk is in Washington, I think I can make it easier to understand.  The $100 billion in “spending cuts” means that government will increase spending by $100 billion instead of $200 billion.  Programs will be cut so the government can continue to spend money on projects that benefit their friends.

I hope the transition time is short.  I miss blogging and campaigning.  Have a good weekend from the entire Ahmnodt Heare for President campaign team!

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Hitting the Road

This Thursday I will be embarking on a five-day campaign trip that will take me through Pennsylvania, Maryland, West Virginia, Virginia, and North Carolina.  Right now the only thing that is anything near planned is a small rally in Winston-Salem.  I am open to other rallies (especially on Monday morning and afternoon.)

I might give an impromptu speech in front of the very spot where I first decided to get involved in politics in 1998 when I ran for Senate,  (I was beating John Edwards and Lauch Faircloth in polls when people found out I wasn’t eligible due to age.)

This was supposed to be part of a longer trip that would have brought me into Washington DC the following weekend for my daughter’s birthday.    While I was able to find someone who could take care of the dog for that time, I couldn’t find anybody to watch my pet ants or water my bread mold beyond Monday.  I’ll be back home Monday evening only to head to Washington that Friday.  OPEC is starting to love me.

A Blot on the Family Tree

It is a sad day for the Heare family.  It is with deep sorrow that I inform you what my father did.  He has been banned from the Northern Virginia Shuffleboard League because he tested positive for “performance-enhancing” drugs.  By performance-enhancing drugs, I don’t mean something like “Viagra.”  If that was the case, at least my mother would be happy.

My father tested positive for anabolic steroids when he was tested following his “record-breaking” performance in the Northern VA Shuffleboard League semi-finals.  He was an average player during the regular season with no outstanding games and no terrible games.  His performance escalated with his best performances during the playoffs and cumulated with his “record-setting” performance in the semi-finals.

He does not plan to appeal the decision and apologized to the other participants and to the league for his poor discretion.  I would like to take a moment to state that I had no prior knowledge that he played shuffleboard.

I will not be campaigning much this weekend as I recover from this ordeal.

Interesting Day

I was beginning to worry about the campaign after the disappointing numbers last night.  I went to Virginia and talked to people at a local diner.  Although they weren’t overly impressed with my ideas, they all thought that I would be better than what we have now.  They want somebody who wants to help them more than helping someone who doesn’t need the help like the Republicans do with big businesses or help those who wouldn’t be so bad off if they weren’t so lazy like the Democrats do.

Tennessee was an even better experience.  I’ll never forget Carla Bunting, a retired school teacher from Knoxville, say that if I was president, someday schools would be named after me and that children would be named after me.  She loved that I would teach children the tools they would really need to make it in the adult world.

I found out on the way home that “Hello Kitty” is going to be Japan’s new tourism ambassador. It gave me an idea.  I could save the United States a lot of money by naming animated fictional characters as ambassadors.  Hong-Kong Phooey could be Ambassador to China.  Fred Flintstone could be our Ambassador to the U.N..  Dick Dastardly could be the Ambassador to Iran.  There might be some licencing fees that we would have to pay, but I am sure the fees would be minor because the cartoon companies would be getting good publicity.

Going Home

I will be spending most of the next two weeks campaigning in my home state of North Carolina. Nothing beats going to your own house after a day of campaigning. I’ll probably swing up to Indiana for a day or two in the early part of next week. I hope I will be home before the polls close in Pennsylvania. It won’t make too much of a difference one way or another because people will vote the same way whether I am home when the polls close or in southern Virginia on my way home.