Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

The Evil that is Volkswagen

First Volkswagen wanted us to punch each other.  Now they want us to ignore our speed limits with their “Autobahn for All” event.  It’s not just ignoring the speed limits – it encourages reckless and aggressive driving while using sexual innuendos.

The latest commercial shows a couple taking a Volkswagen for a test drive.  The husband is driving with the salesman in the passenger’s seat and the hot wife in the back.  The wife gets excited and screams, “SHOOT THE GAP! SHOOT THE GAP!!!”  When a hottie screams “Shoot the gap!” I am going to shoot the gap.  I try to please ladies that way.

In order for the husband to shoot the gap, he has to drop off the salesman.  He has to weave through traffic and drive between two tractor-trailers and speed on the interstate.  Unlike the “Punch Dub” commercials, (which was just people punching people), this commercial encourages reckless driving in exchange for a little nookie.  The worst part of the commercial is that they don’t show the nookie after the husband speeds between the two tractor trailers.

I demand ethical behavior in commercials and will make this an executive order once I am President.  I will make America safer by allowing only socially responsible commercials to air.

UPDATE 7/30/10:

I would like to thank my supporters for pressuring Volkswagen into pulling the ad.

July 26, 2010 Posted by | campaign, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

My Beef Against Volkswagen

I wasn’t going to write about the incident I had in Des Moines last night, but the same thing occurred this morning as I was waiting for waiting for a cab in front of the airport.

As the cab was coming, a woman punched me in the arm and said, “Red one!”  It didn’t take me long to see the Volkswagen Jetta drive past the hotel.

Last night was worse than that incident.  I was walking along Ingersoll Avenue and was heading towards the Alpine Tap Room.  A couple of men were walking in the opposite direction.  As I walked between them, I suddenly got punched in both arms by both men.

“Blue one!”

They hit me again before I could say anything.

“White one!”

I was going to say something, but they were both larger and in better shape than I am.  The Alpine Tap Room was in my sight so I scurried towards it before anybody could see it.  I was just about to enter the bar when I got punched in the chest.

“Black one.”

This is my message to Volkswagen:  Quit running those commercials!  First off, it’s not “Punch Dub,” it’s “Punch Bug.”  One is supposed to be allowed to punch when a Volkswagen Beetle is in sight.   Second, the ad promotes violence.  It gives the impression that it is OK to punch a stranger just because a specific car is around.  Not only do the commercials promote violence, but it encourages unprovoked attacks of innocent bystanders.

Volkswagen can take this opportunity to promote peace in the world.  Replace “Punch Dub” with “Hug Dub.”  While some people might not like being hugged by total strangers, it is less painful and promotes peace.

April 16, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , , , | 12 Comments


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