Volunteering

Every once in a while I volunteer in my community (or in somebody else’s community.)  Today was one of those days.  My first choice was volunteering as a dressing room attendant at the local nudie bar.  I was told that the ladies don’t need any help, even if I was offering my services without expecting compensation.  I was also told not to bring my camcorder any more.

I spend the day volunteering at a soup kitchen.  Not only did they serve soup (today’s soup was New England Clam Chowder), they also served Curry over rice and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  There was birthday cake for dessert even though it wasn’t anybody’s birthday today.  (The volunteer coordinator said that today wasn’t anybody’s birthday, but I think people were born on November 29.)

I started my day peeling carrots, dicing onions, and deshelling peanut M&Ms.  Despite my culinary skills, I was needed more in the dining area.  Tables needed to be cleared from breakfast and it needed to be done quickly as lunch was to be served in less than an hour.  Tables needed to be wiped down, seats needed to be cleaned off, the floor needed to be swept and mopped, and carcases needed to be removed.

The dining area seats 65 people.  The only problem is that the soup kitchen averages 120 people per meal.  I needed to pre-bus tables and clean tables as soon as the first wave of people left so the second wave of people had a clean table to eat.  Cleaning continued after lunch as the people left.

I stayed until 2:00.  I would have stayed later, but I was getting hungry and wanted to get a bite to eat.  It just seemed wrong to ask to eat the soup kitchen food when there are so  many people whose only meals come from the soup kitchen.  I went to a diner and and ordered an artery-hardening cheese-steak sandwich and some fries saturated in saturated fat.

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Ahmnodt Heare for President

Some may wonder why I am taking the time to endorse myself.  Many editors will be mulling over who to endorse over the next two weeks.  The Washington Post and New York Times have endorsed Barack Obama.  This letter is for the editors who have yet to endorse.  Below are the reasons why Ahmnodt Heare should be President:

• Troop Morale – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to offer a war plan that allows troops to see their families every night.
• Volunteerism – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate who has taken time to volunteer during his campaign.
• The Motion Picture Association of America – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to offer a plan to make entertainment affordable.
• Priorities – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to actually suspend his campaign when news hit that we were heading for a financial crisis.
• Trendsetter – Ahmnodt Heare’s campaign has been copied by Sarah Palin and Barack Obama
• Accessibility – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate who has made himself accessable to the gereral populace with a call-in radio show.

When the dust settles, remember:  Ahmnodt Heare for America… Ahmnodt Heare for You.

Volunteers Wanted

If you want to make a difference in American Politics, then I am that man who can make real change.  I’m not going to ask you to give money or to get an “Ahmnodt Heare” tattoo. All I want is for you to put the link below on your website or in your blog.

https://ahmnodtheare.wordpress.com

I thank you in advance for your help.  Remember, Ahmnodt Heare for America… Ahmnodt Heare for you.