How I Would Solve the Israeli – Palestinian Mess

Israel and Palestine have been going at it since I was a kid.  There have been moments of truces only to end up with both sides fighting again.  My solution is two-fold:  Bomb Israel, Gaza, and the West Bank with reefer bombs and to set up falafel and kabob stands near the bombed areas.

Marijuana puts the mind at ease.  People aren’t in the mood to fight when they are stoned.  Marijuana also causes the munchies.  If America ran the falafel and kabob stands I mentioned earlier, then we will be able to pay for the reefer bombings without using taxpayers’ dollars.

A well-fed and stoned people is a happy and peaceful people.  This will bring peace to the Middle East.

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No Ameros in my Wallet

I am against the creation of a multinational currency.  Multinational currencies like the Amero and the Euro are the first phase in merging nations.  This would ruin the entertainment industry and it would turn my “9-5 war” against Canada into a civil war.  If I wanted to have currency of foreigners in my wallet, I’d go to other countries more often.

I can’t see people shopping in an “Amero Store” like they do a dollar store.  I doubt it will catch on.  People will not be watching “The Six Million Amero Man.”  It just sounds too weird.  The “Amero Value Menu” wouldn’t sound very appetizing.

I urge all Americans to write President-Elect Obama, your senators and congresspeople, and your favorite sports team’s captain and tell them “No” to the Amero.

Cleric Urges Boycott of Ahmnodt Heare’s Website

Maimammah Atoldmi, cleric of a mosque in Casper, WY, spoke to a crowd yesterday denouncing Ahmnodt Heare and called for boycotting his blog.

“Ahmnodt Heare says one thing and does another.  He claims to want war against Canada, but said America would be better off if we dismissed Sharia Law and instead followed Shania Law.  Doesn’t this dumbskull know that Shania Twain is Canadian?

“Not only should we boycott his website, but we should all proclaim the potential evil an Ahmnodt Heare presidency can cause.  ‘Life begins at 40.’  What kind of abortion position is that?  His ‘video survellience on the hottest women’ position suggests he is a pervert with impure thoughts about women.

“I urge everybody in exposing Ahmnodt Heare for the fraud that he is!”

gremlins at Reviewer – Your gremlin’s fight club

gremlins at Reviewer – Your gremlin’s fight club.

Now is your chance to “fight” a presidential candidate.  It’s my gremlin against your gremlin.  The more fight and training for your gremlin, the better it gets.

The India – Pakistan Fiasco

I hate to admit this, but I am not very tech savvy.  When I have a problem with one of my electronic devices, I call the toll-free number.  Many of these calls have been going to India lately.

If India and Pakistan get in a all-out war, this could be bad for Americans.  If India gets bombed, Americans will lose valuable expertise in stuff we don’t know much about.  This will lead in more electronics being tossed sooner and will fill up the landfills.

I would support India in just about any way possible.  The hardest part would be in the event of war, pulling our troops out so they can be home in time for dinner every night.

I hope they don’t go to war.  I heard I am getting a digital camera for Christmas and I don’t know how they work.

Ahmnodt Heare for President

Some may wonder why I am taking the time to endorse myself.  Many editors will be mulling over who to endorse over the next two weeks.  The Washington Post and New York Times have endorsed Barack Obama.  This letter is for the editors who have yet to endorse.  Below are the reasons why Ahmnodt Heare should be President:

• Troop Morale – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to offer a war plan that allows troops to see their families every night.
• Volunteerism – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate who has taken time to volunteer during his campaign.
• The Motion Picture Association of America – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to offer a plan to make entertainment affordable.
• Priorities – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate to actually suspend his campaign when news hit that we were heading for a financial crisis.
• Trendsetter – Ahmnodt Heare’s campaign has been copied by Sarah Palin and Barack Obama
• Accessibility – Ahmnodt Heare is the only candidate who has made himself accessable to the gereral populace with a call-in radio show.

When the dust settles, remember:  Ahmnodt Heare for America… Ahmnodt Heare for You.

How do you reorganize Afghanistan Strategy?

I would pull the trips out of Afghanistan and Iraq and attack Canada from 9 AM to 5PM Monday through Friday.  It’s a win-win situation.  War mongers get a war closer to home.  Soldiers get a war and get to go home to their families every night.