Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

My “Al Michaels Moment”

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Al Michaels

I didn’t get to watch the 1980 Olympic hockey game between the United States and the former Soviet Union.  I was in the first grade and had a strict bedtime of 8:00PM.  I had this bedtime until I graduated from high school, when my bedtime was moved up to 9:00. But I remember hearing my father tell me that we beat the Soviet Union the following morning.  I finally heard Al Michael’s quote just before the gold medal game between the United States and Finland, I got excited, as if I actually saw the entire game.

It would have been cool to watch that game.  The next best game would be to to find a game that Al Michael’s quote could be applied.  The game was between the Nationals and the New York Mets.  It shouldn’t have reached miracle status because rookie phenom  Stephen Strasburg was pitching against a 35-year knuckleballer R.A. Dickey.  One is a dominant pitcher with a 100 mile-per-hour fastball while the other throws a knuckleball in two speeds: slow and not-so-slow.

Strasburg didn’t have his best stuff today.  He allowed 2 runs on four hits along with three walks.  He would last only five innings and leave with the Nationals losing 2-0.  While Strasburg struggled, Dickey and his knuckleball breezed throw the first five innings and allowed only two singles.

The tide starting to turn a bit in favor of the Nationals.  The Nats’ bullpen held the Mets in check and the batters started getting to Dickey in the sixth inning, tying the game at 2.  The eighth inning was a nightmare.  Tyler Clippard pitched 2/3 of an inning.  In that short span, he allowed three runs on four hits.  Doug Slaten stopped the bleeding, but the damage was done.  The Mets lead 5-2.

The Nationals managed to manufacture a run in the bottom of the eighth and Matt Capps retired the Mets in order in the top of the ninth, making the score 5-3.  Then the miracle happened.  The Nats was facing the Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez.  The bases were quickly loaded when Adam Dunn tied the game with a double to deep center field that hit the tippy top of the fence.  Josh Willingham was walked intentionally to reload the bases for Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez.  Pudge blooped a single to right and the Nationals scored the winning run and won 6-5.

Why was this a miracle?  Because even with this win, the Nationals are in last place 12 1/2 games behind the Braves.  This is the first time inthe last 40 games the Nationals trailed after the eighth inning that they won.  My father was at the game and the Nationals never seem to win when my father goes to games.

“Do you believe in miracles?…  YES!!” – Ahmnodt Heare (via Al Michaels)

July 4, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor, satire | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Live from DC

I arrived at my parents’ house in DC about 10 minutes ago.  This is going to be a busy weekend.  There are some work-related things I have to do and a lot of personal stuff to take care of.

It didn’t take long for me to receive bad news.  Patricia has to go to summer school if she wants to go to second grade next school year.  This threw me for a loop because neither Patricia nor her mother told me she was having problems in school.

When I went to pick up Patricia, neither her nor her mother were home.  I took a quick peek inside and noticed nothing was packed.  They were supposed to move in with me when I head back home on Sunday.

I heard that Stephen Strasburg was pitching tonight and I wanted to give my father an early Father’s Day present by getting tickets for the Nationals’ game against the Chicago White Sox.  The only problem was the game was sold out and I didn’t want to pay scalpers’ rates for a ticket that might be counterfeit.  This happened to me when I lived in North Carolina and paid $200 for a $5o ticket when the Redskins played in Charlotte.  The tickets turned out to be counterfeit and could not attend the game.

I’ll pick up something for my father tomorrow.  Probably some Redskins paraphernalia.  It’s been a long day and I still have some things to do before heading to bed.

June 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt | , , , , , | 2 Comments

My New Hero

I was born and raised in Washington, DC.  I was raised on following the Washington teams:  Redskins, Capitals (and to a lesser extent, the Bullets/Wizards and Georgetown).  The then-Bullets won a championship when I was very young and I don’t remember them winning it.  The Capitals have been close a few times, but they have never won a championship.  The Redskins have won three Super Bowls  (against Miami, Denver, and Buffalo) , but their last Super Bowl victory was 18 years ago.

Washington would get a baseball team in 2005 when the Expos left Montreal.  The Nats’ were a .500 team the first year in Washington, but had gone downhill since.  Things were looking better for 2010.  They were playing close to .500 baseball when they brought up my new hero Stephen Strasburg.  They’re currently 30-31 and are 5 games out of first.

The Nationals have a “once-in-a-generation” pitcher.  Not just a “once-in-a-generation” pitcher for the Nationals (Expos), one for the entire league.  Strasburg has brought more buzz to baseball than Dwight Gooden did when he started with the Mets and Fernando Valenzuela did when he was a rookie with the Dodgers.

Strasburg’s first game was Tuesday against the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Aside from allow two runs, he was a freak.  He struck out 14 Pirates with a blistering fastball and a wicked curveball.

My hero!

For the first time since the Nationals started baseball, I feel like they will win a World Series before I get old.  I’m just hoping that they don’t choke like the Caps did.

June 11, 2010 Posted by | commentary, editorial, Washington | , , , , , , , | Comments Off on My New Hero

When it Rains, it Pours!

I was all set to have internet installed in my new condo today.  The internet installer came over to install the internet.  He placed the router right where I wanted it to go.  When it came time to test the connection, it did not work.  He went through the most extensive troubleshooting i have ever seen.  (I think he is a supporter, but he wouldn’t say.  He did say he has heard of me.)  He tested the line to the router, the line to the pole, and the router.  It turns out that the router is defective.

Franz went back to his van to try another router, but there were none in the truck.  He called his office, but the company was out-of-stock on routers and will not be getting a shipment in until next Wednesday.  My appointment is now next Thursday.

I had to find a WiFi hot spot to email a client a final project that had to be received by 5:00.   It took me a while to find a spot, but I found one.  I would soon find out that it was on a DSL modem, which takes longer to upload than cable modems.  I also somehow managed to bring my power cord.

There were a few large components to the project.  There was the PowerPoint presentation that my client would show to his client.  There were three 30-second radio ads (one of which was in Spanish), three television ads (one of which was in Spanish) and a 30-minute infomercial in HD.  It was over 200MB of files I had to send.  It took about 45 minutes and I was just about to have it sent when the battery in the laptop died.

Frantic attempts to borrow somebody else’s power cord were unsuccessful.  I had to rush home, get the power cord, head back, and upload everything again.  I arrived just before 4:00 PM and started over.  The uploading was taking a lot longer.  There were teenagers downloading videos and songs.  All I could do was wonder what Don Mills would do in this situation, but my mind drew a blank.  That would mean I am somewhere between the age of a teenager and the age of Mr. Mills.

The project was emailed 15 minutes late.  I lost that client and a client he would have set me up with had all this not occurred.

The night ended on a good note though.  I got to watch my Washington Nationals beat the New York Mets at a bar here in Vernon, NJ with a bunch of Mets fans.  Once in a while, it feels good to be the only person leaving a bar with a smile.

May 19, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, humor | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Numbness of Disappointment

This is usually when I give my predictions for the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I normally wait until now because I am usually too busy to take the time to give the First Round predictions.  I am not making a prediction this year.  I am having a hard time grasping that there is still hockey after the Washington Capitals have been eliminated.  I am rooting for the Pittsburgh Penguins to beat the Canadiens even though Penguins fans will harp on how Sidney Crosby is a better player than Alex Ovechkin.  It just isn’t true.  Anybody who knows anything about hockey knows Ovechkin is a much better player than Crosby.

Next week is Mother’s Day.  I won’t be able to watch too much hockey anyway.  I am heading down to Washington after work Friday and am heading back home early Sunday evening.  I am hoping to make it home by Midnight.  The trip would have been planned a bit differently if the Capitals were still in the playoffs or if the Nationals weren’t at home against the Florida Marlins.

There will be no predictions this year, although I am hoping the Canadiens and the Canucks lose this round.

May 2, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor | , , , , , | Comments Off on The Numbness of Disappointment

Change in Plans

It turns out that my daughter will not moving up here in two weeks after all.  There is too much happening all around to have Patricia and her mother move up here any time soon.

March 26-28 – Nothing really happening but since Easter is the following weekend and I will be in Washington celebrating Easter with my parents.  It wouldn’t be fair to have Patricia go back and forth for two straight weekends.  I hate the drive myself and sometimes enter cuss mode once I get past Baltimore.

April 2-4 – Easter (I’ll be in Washington)

April 9-11  – “Orgies for Abstinence” – Not exactly the atmosphere a 7-year-old girl should be around.

April 16-18 and 23-25 – I will be going on vacation to San Diego.  I will be meeting Mexican independent candidate for President Noes Toiaqui for strategy sessions for both of us.

April 30-May 2 – Jeanetta and Patricia will be going to a family reunion in Virginia.  The Addams’ always get together that weekend and Patricia had a lot of fun at last year’s reunion.

May 7-9 – Mother’s Day – I will again be in D.C. to take my mother to Friendly’s like I do almost every year.

May 14-16 – Too close to the end of the school year to move Patricia.  The school year in Washington goes through June 18.  I will head down that weekend and help them move.  I will also be taking my father and Patrician to the Nationals’ game against the Chicago White Sox.  Patricia will come up with me the following day.

Patricia will spend at least next with my parents as her mother comes up here to look for a job.  I don’t know if I will have the spare bedroom ready by then so she’ll have to sleep on the couch.

Now that that is taken care of, I can spend more time working and attending to my clients.  (Not that either of those activities are fun.)

March 18, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, Washington | , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to Fix the Mets

Some of you might be wondering why someone who was born and raised in the Washington, DC area would be interested in fixing the New York Mets.  There are two reasons for this:  I have lived in the New York suburbs for the last year and Fixing my Nationals is for miracle performers.  I am not a miracle performer and being a miracle worker is not a prerequisite for being President (Obama is not a miracle worker, no matter what he tells you.)

The secret to fixing the Mets takes manager strategy from two managers; John McAmara and Tony LaRussa.  Like McAmara, I would have the best hitter hit leadoff.  For the Mets as currently assembled, it would be David Wright.  Although I am not a big fan of the pitcher batting eighth, I would do it with the team as it is now until Jose Reyes returns from the Disabled List.

Below is my batting order as I would have it:

  1. David Wright – 3B
  2. Luis Castillo – 2B
  3. Fernando Tatis – LF
  4. Jeff Francoeur – RF
  5. Daniel Murphy – 1B
  6. Angel Pagan – CF
  7. Schneider / Santos – C
  8. Pitcher’s Spot
  9. Alex Cora – SS

This lineup will score more runs because it utilizes all of the players to the best of their abilities.  (Except for Angel Pagan, but somebody has to bat sixth.)

As for fixing the Nationals, I will burn candles and say “Ohm…Ohm…”.  That’s the only thing I can think of.

July 21, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, editorial, humor, satire | , , , , | Comments Off on How to Fix the Mets

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