Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

All Politics is Local

“All politics is local.” – Former House Speaker Thomas “Tip” O’Neill

I was at the diner in town talking to one of my neighbors about things going on.  There was an article in the town paper that got me engaged.  The water company was recently bought out by the town for some odd reason.  That isn’t the part that has me mad.  Below is a brief synopsis of recent events that has led to the anger of my neighbors and me:

  • Before the sewer company was sold to the town – My average water bill was $50.00/month.  $!0.00 was for water, $38.00 was for sewage and $2.00 was for billing.  (One would think by now that companies would include billing in their rates as part of operating costs.  I could save them billing costs if they only decided to quit billing me.)  The rates here were among the highest in New Jersey.
  • The town bought the water company because the rates were so high and people were complaining.  The assumption was that the rates would be more reasonable if the town ran the water company.
  • People started getting the new bills from the town.  The average rate increase is over 250%.  I was recently told that my next water bill would be $120 – $140.

There will be a condo association on Wednesday.  The local condominium got hit with higher rates than the rest of the town.  (The rest of the town also got hard, just not as hard as the condos.)  There is a town meeting next Monday where I will be speaking on behalf of condo owners (Even though they don’t know this yet).

I have already taken steps to lower my water use to a minimum:

1) Shower at the gym instead of at home:  This will save me money.

2) Wash my clothes while showering – This will save from using a washing machine and going to a laundromat.

3)Flush only once a day – after pooping – Most of the increase is in sewage.

4)If my bill is too high after #3 – get a bunch of Depends undergarments.

5)Plastic cups and silverware and paper plates, pots, and pans – this will save from washing dishes (something I don’t like doing anyway.)

I have already begun to start collecting rain water for cooking, mopping, and watering the hemp tomato plants.   I am currently working on a plan to present that will save everybody money.  Call me crazy, but I don’t see how paying 250% more for water will save me money.


August 13, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, humor, issues, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments


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