Ahmnodt Heare for President

Ahmnodt Heare For America… Ahmnodt Heare For You.

Back to the Grind

After a long weekend, I am ready to get back to work and the campaign trail.  It turns out that “Condoms for Cousins” wasn’t quite what I though it was.  it turned out to be a scheme devised by someone named Darrell Ray Cousins.  It had nothing to do with stopping blood relatives from reproducing.

I made a healthy contribution to OPEC driving from northwestern New Jersey to Greensboro, North Carolina.  My mind is cleared and I should be good to go through Election Day.  Though if I am going to act presidential like Bush 43 and Obama, I am going to have to take a lot more vacations.

One thing I took from the vacation is that I can find ways to be even more fiscally conservative.  I will not fly around the country on Air Force One.  My mode of transportation will be a bicycle with a bulletproof frame.  This will prevent damage to the bicycle should somebody try to assassinate it.  I am also going to replace the White House kitchen with a McDonald’s.  No Lobster Bisque for me, instead I will choose from the Dollar Value menu.

there will be other things I plan on tinkering this week.  Next week I plan on campaigning at Diebold.  Remember, it’s not the vote that counts, it’s who counts the vote.

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March 13, 2012 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, humor, politics, satire | , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Reality Show

 

 

The White House (Washington DC)

It would be called, “Ahmnodt Heare for President.” It would depict my campaigning as well as parts of my personal life. The show would also show why I chose to run a penniless campaign and why despite the fact that I am different that mainstream candidates, I am quite electable.

Anybody have an idea for a theme song for the show? I tried to think of one, but I am stumped.

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November 26, 2010 Posted by | Ahmnodt, campaign, humor, media | , , | 3 Comments

The “First Lady” Problem

James Buchanan is the only president to date who was unmarried as President.  I would be the second.  I have a daughted from an affair that did not mature to marriage.  My custody is extremely limited because I took her drinking one night and she drank me under the table.  She will be too young to be first lady (She turns six next month.)

The question becomes: “Is it important to have a First Lady?”  I am not talking about wifely duties, I am talking about the hostess stuff.  And the crusades for worthy causes.  I will always have to wonder if a woman married me because she loves me or because she wants a little nookie in the Lincoln Bedroom.

I am in no hurry to get married.  It will be almost four years before I get to occupy the White House.  In the meantime, I will continue to play the field.

February 17, 2009 Posted by | Ahmnodt, commentary, election, issues, politics, satire | , , , | 5 Comments

   

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