Observations on Recent Events

I spent most of today trying to catch up on what has been happening in the news since Election Day.  I haven’t watched the news because I have been vacationing and I had custody of my daughter for most of the last week.  Below is my synopsis of some recent events:

• Colorado and Washington legalizing marijuana for recreational use –  I support this and on the surface this is good news.  There is bad news and I will explain that later.
• Petraeusgate – Former CIA Director David Petraeus resigned following a much-publicized sex scandal.  My campaign could use publicity like that.  I am not below admitting that I can use the sex.
• Israel vs. Hamas and the Palestinians – I have received heat for what I am about to say in the past, but it bears repeating.  The United States should not get involved in the conflict until the Canadian dilemma is settled.  Canadian spies like William Shatner, Celine Dion, and Justin Bieber infiltrating and sabotaging the Great American Entertainment Industry must be deported and American entertainment must be restored to its greatness.
• Hostess Closing Down – This is bad news on many levels.  I blame the marketing team for the folding of the company.  While it is easy to blame the management for being overpaid or the unions for wanting too much, I blame the marketing team for undervaluing their products.  I would have sold Twinkees at 40% higher than the suggested retail price.  They were at least that much better than Little Debbie’s.  Legalizing marijuana just isn’t the same withoout munching on Twinkees or Ho-Ho’s.

Tonight is my last night in Virginia Beach.  I head to my parents’ home in Washington, DC tomorrow for Thanksgiving week and head home Friday afternoon.

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Canada’s New Plan of Attack

For the last fifty years, Canada’s mode of attack has been to have their spies infiltrate the Great American Entertainment Industry and ruin our last remaining export.  Some of their more infamous spies include William Shatner, Celine Dion, Anne Murray, and Justin Bieber.  The Canadian government has reached a new low with their newest tactic.  It is a complicated plan that hurts not only American citizens, but also their own.

First, Canada drives their prices so high that things become hard to afford in Canada.  Gas is around $5.00/gallon in British Columbia while it’s about $3.80 in Washington State.  Here is a cost-of-living comparison between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA.  Canadians know things are less expensive in the United States so they hit American stores en mass and hoard essentials like milk, eggs, and cigarettes before Americans can get to them.

There are two ways to handle this:  Raise the prices of things in Americs so it’s as bad here as in Canada.  This is a bad idea unless you are rich and have a ton of disposable income.  The other plan is to sabotage the Canadian Dollar to the point that it would be virtually worthless in the United States.  That’s why I just came up with a third idea.  He;p the Canadian citizens petition their government.  This will not only make things more affordable for Canadians to shop in Canada, but it will finally put an end to their government’s tampering with American entertainment.

I should mention that no other presidential candidate has even mentioned this as of this posting.  84 shopping days until Election Day.

Blowback

Experiencing blowback is humbling.  I was the first of the 2012 candidates to visit Dixville Notch.  I was hoping that visit might have been enough to secure a win or at least get enough votes to be competitive and set the tone for today’s primary in New Hampshire.  Dixville Notch voters vote at midnight and announce their results soon after.  I did not get any votes in either the Republican or Democratic primaries.   I looked back at my campaigning notes to try to figure out why I did so poorly.  It took me a while to find it, but I found out why:  I had made a terrible faux-pas when I visited Dixville Notch.

The faux-pas involved handing out Celine Dion and William Shatner CDs when I was there.  Dixville Notch might be near Canada, but their hearts are all-American.  I don’t know if this translate into wanting to go to war with Canada, but I lost my trust after trying to unload the CDs.

I am hoping the rest of New Hampshire doesn’t find out about the debacle in Dixville Notch and I can fare well.  Not hearing my name among votes received isn’t going to help.  I will be in New Hampshire tomorrow afternoon and access the results of today’s primaries and come up with a campaign strategy to have my name and platform resonate with the people of New Hampshire.

William Shatner for Governor General

Many of you (especially Canadians) are wondering why I am getting involved in Canadian politics.  I am wondering that also.  People generally don’t like it when foreigners ring in about their home country’s politics.  I experienced that in 2008 when many non-Americans were hoping Barack Obama would be President even though they could not partake in American politics.  I am working to make it possible for non-Americans to vote for the U.S. President in 2012.

I must be honest.  I do not know what a Governor General does, but it sounds like as a Governor General, Shatner will go out to war against other provinces,  But I do know that he does have overwhelming support among Canadians.  This is a win-win situation.  Canadians get a beloved Canadian as their Governor General.  Americans get one less spy infiltrated with help from the Canadian government tainting the American entertainment industry.

Join me in supporting William Shatner as Governor General.  It will be good for everybody.

Beyond Numb

Somebody needs to explain this to me because I am at a loss of words as to how this could possibly happen.

If he becomes our the next president, then I will move to Canada.

Beware of These People!

There are two types of people I am concerned about:  those who threaten the American way of life and those who are undermining my campaign.

These people below are threatening American entertainment and must be stopped!

Anne Murray, Celine Dion, and William Shatter are Canadian spies whose mission is to undermine the American entertainment industry and tamper with America’s last remaining significant export.

Those listed above have either stolen my campaign ideas in their campaigns or have covertly undermined my 2008 and 2012 campaigns. (Except Neil Patrick Harris, he was added because I think he’s a tad odd.)

The War on “War”

One of the biggest arguments we Americans have is whether we should be fighting wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Canada.  Proponents of war say it’s the only way we can stop the enemy.  Opponents of war say that the proponents only want war because they lack the speaking skills needed for diplomacy.  While this explains why Republicans are for war, it doesn’t explain why Democrats are against war.

I am finding that my position on war is not very popular with Star Trek fans.  Doug Kamakachi is a candidate from California running as an independent with the intent of implementing the Democratic Party platform.  He claims that Democrats can’t seem to implement their platform so he will do it for them.

Doug doesn’t like my position on war because he is a Trekkie and doesn’t want to see William Shatner deported.  He also saved money on this Caribbean getaway by booking his cruise on priceline.com.  He wants to end all wars (including the wars Americans aren’t involved in) and remove bases from every country except Switzerland.  He claims that having a base in Switzerland will help the Swiss end their neutrality and become an ally with the United States.   I think it is because Doug gets turned on when Heidi is yodeling.