Vacation Ends Today

I head home today after a week of must needed time away from the job and my campaign.  I will leave here at 7:30 for a ride to Colorado Springs.  At 11:00, I will be taking a bus to Denver.  The plane leaves at 2:00PM and I shoujld be back at my home by 8PM.

I spent most of yesterday alone relaxing.  I did watch some of the Rockies game against the New York Mets at a bar.  I came back to the bar in time to watch “Wheel of Fortune.”  It was then that I found out why my campaign was so popular here.  Saguache is a hotbed for Vanna White supremacists.   There was an altercation as a few people came in wanting to watch the Denver Broncos’ game against the Arizona Cardinals.  But the Broncos fans were outnumbered by the Vanna White supremacists.

We were about to watch the Broncos game after “Wheel of Fortune” when there was a sudden showering of boos.  I saw the television and it was Wiliam Shatner doing a Priceline commercial.  An elderly woman shouted, “Way to ruin our entertainment, you Canuck spy!”

The irony is although I am heading home today, I will never feel as home as I have this past week.

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Something is not Right

I have to be careful when talking about Disney.  I don’t want to give the impression that they are the CineMafia.  I don’t want to go after them too often because they did endorse my campaign.  However; it is important to do the right thing as often as possible.  This is especially true when the chances of getting caught are great.

Friday night I was watching television with my daughter Patricia.  I figured the perfect channel to watch with one’s child is a channel that calls itself the “Family Channel”.  At 7:00PM was the show, “That 70’s Show.”  The cable guide said it was rated “TV-14”.  The show contains sexual innuendo and drugs.  This is inappropriate for a six-year old.  I was so angered that ABC/Disney tried to pass “That 70’s Show” as family entertainment that I wrote my senators, my congressman, President Obama, Disney Inc., and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.  Although I cannot prove that the Canadians had anything to do with this, it would not surprise me that they would sneak to this level.  William Shatner mocking former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin does not do anything to warm relations between Canada and the United States.

Patricia and I ended up watching my UFC Championships DVD because there wasn’t family oriented programming on the Family Channel.

I have to be careful when talking about Disney.  I don’t want to give the impression that they are the CineMafia.  I don’t want to go after them too often because they did endorse my campaign.  However; it is important to do the right thing as often as possible.  This is especially true when the chances of getting caught are great.

Friday night I was watching television with my daughter Patricia.  I figured the perfect channel to watch with one’s child is a channel that calls itself the “Family Channel”.  At 7:00PM was the show, “That 70’s Show.”  The cable guide said it was rated “TV-14”.  The show contains sexual innuendo and drugs.  This is inappropriate for a six-year old.  “Viewer Discrection is Advised” does not equate to family values.  I was so angered that ABC/Disney tried to pass “That 70’s Show” as family entertainment that I wrote my senators, my congressman, President Obama, Disney Inc., and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.  Although I cannot prove that the Canadians had anything to do with this, it would not surprise me that they would sneak to this level.  William Shatner mocking former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin does not do anything to warm relations between Canada and the United States.

Since there wasn’t family oriented programming on the Family Channel, Patricia and I ended up watching my UFC Championships DVD .

A Look at my Platform – War

Over the next couple weeks, I will take issues from my platform and further explain my positions. Today, I will discuss my views on war.

War with Iraq is wrong. We should be fighting Canada for allowing William Shattner and Celine Dion to infiltrate our country.

To the best of most people’s knowledge, Iraq had nothing to do with September 11.  They also had nothing to do with the Oklahoma City bombing, the Centennial Park bombing, or the production of “Hello Larry.”  While it can’t be proven Canada was involved in any of the forementioned actions, Canada has attacked the United States in unconventional methods.  They have tainted American entertainment.

How has Canada wrecked our entertainment?  They wrecked it by allowing their spies to infiltrate the United States and poise as “entertainers.”  William Shattner, Celiene Dion, and Anne Murray are just a few spies posing as “entertainers.”   Not all Canadian entertainers are spies, though.  Chris Farley could act.  Shania Twain can sing.  Brian Mulrooney is one hell of a comedian.

We have already tried sanctions.  We have been boycotting hockey since the 2005-2006 season.  We have flooded the Caniadian airwaves with Britney Spears and the Jonas Brothers.  None of these actions have worked.  War is the only option left.

I am not a typical “rah-rah” war guy.  I have set some rules for a war with Canada to make sure nobody gets hurt.

• Wars shall only be fought between 9:00AM and 5:00PM Mondays through Fridays.  This will allow our troops to come home for dinner every night and weekends.  It is important to keep morale high.  There will be no fighting on holidays (American or Canadian)
• No bombing of hockey rinks, Tim Horton’s, or curling ponds.  We don’t hate Canadians, just the Canadian government, and specifically, those agencies responsible.
• To show that the Canadians are willing to play fair, they have promised no arctic cold fronts during the summer.

It will take a lot of work to get American entertainment back to a level of excellence.  But we will prevail and we will be entertained again.

Right Country – Wrong Target

The Department of Homeland Security’s Director Janet Napolitano suggested that Canada was partially to blame for allowing terrorists to enter the United States and causing the September 11 attacks.  Whether this is true or not is irrelevant.  It wasn’t like the terrorists had signs that said, “Hi, my name is Mohammed Atta and I am a terrorist.”  The terrorists were in the United States for a while and we didn’t know they were terrorists until it was too late.

What we should blame Canada for doing is deteriorating American entertainment.  They not only knew the limited “talents” of William Shatner and Celine Dion, but they trained them in their mission to sabotage American entertainment.  Janet Napolitano has to quit worrying about an incident eight years ago and go after William Shattner, who has been systematically destroying the quality of American entertainment for over 40 years.  Until this situation is taken care of, Americans will not take the Department of Homeland Security seriously.