Obama’s Trip to Canada

President Obama went to Canada today and had discussions with Prime Minister Harper.  They spent time talking about trade and the environment.  They did not talk about the heinous actions of former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau and Brian Mulroney.  Trudeau sent spies William Shattner and Anne Murray to the United States to sabotage the entertainment industry.  Mulrooney did the same thing with spy Celine Dion.

I am willing to offer a deal.  Canada takes their spies back.  In return, as president, I will not declare war.  I will also try poutine.  I’ll even eat the cheese curds.  I am normally a finicky eater, but I will do my part to promote good relations with Canada

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I Like Canadians

I haven’t made myself clear about how I feel about Canadians.  I like the people.  Canadians are cool to have a beer and shoot the breeze with.  I have confused people by wanting a war with Canada.  It is not the Canadian citizens that made me want this war, it’s the Canadian government.

To prove this point, I have stated on several occasions that the war would only be fought on weekdays between 9AM and 5PM.  There would be no fighting on weekends.  I have also stated that no hockey rinks or Tim Horton’s are to be bombed for any reason.

The reason for the war is the actions taken by former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.  He has systematically sent spies like Anne Murray and William Shattner into the United States under the guise as “entertainers.”  This is not a knack against all Canadian entertainers.  I like Rush and Barenaked Ladies.  I liked John Candy and Rick Moranis is a good actor.  It’s the likes of Shattner and Murray (and the spy Celine Dion, who was sent by Brian Mulroney) that get me going.  They have helped destroy America’s greatest export, our entertainment industry.  American entertainment is now more expensive for less quality.  it wouldn’t surprise me if the Cinemafia had Canadians in it, but I can not prove that at this time.

if you are a Canadian, I am sorry if I have offended you in the past.  I felt obligated to show you my decision-making process.

Batman 1939-2008

via Batman Bruce Wayne is killed by his own dad in new comic book | The Sun |Showbiz|Film

Bruce “Batman” Wayne was killed by his father.  It was rumored that Bruce Wayne’s father died during Bruce’s childhood,  It turns out that Dr. Thomas Wayne left Bruce and joined the Black Glove organization.

With no Batman and no Robin, who will protect us from The Joker, The Riddler, the Penguin, and William Shattner?  This is a sad day for the good people and a good day for evil.

Gotham City police Commissioner Gordon is looking for a rich guy who can protect Gotham City from evil for no charge,  The crimefighter is encouraged to buy his or her own crime fighting tools.

Now God is Mad at Canada

via The Associated Press: Witnesses: Large meteor streaks across Canada sky

Meteors striking Canada proves what I have been saying:  Canada was wrong for allowing William Shattner and Celine Dion to infiltrate the United States.  Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Parliment should take action and make these “entertainers” return to Canada.

My CIA Briefings

It turns out that contrary to what the media has been reporting, my supporters were correct and I did win the election.  I have been receiving CIA briefings for the last couple of days.

I feel it is important that I share the information that the CIA has given me so that Americans can make their own decisions.  An imformed citizen is one best prepared to act.

I have learned a few things.  The first thing I learned is that I was 100% correct about the Cinemafia.  If you have a 12-14 year old daughter, keep her away from movie theaters until further notice.

There is also good news.  We are beating Canada at their own game.  While they have been trying to convince Americans that William Shattner, Celine Dion, and Anne Murray are “entertainers”, we have been doing the same thing to Canadians with Britney Spears.  The United Kingdom tried a similar measure in the 1980s, but people soon learned that “Wham” wasn’t very entertaining.

Don’t tell anybody what you have just read.  This is classified information.

Thank You, But I Respectfully Decline

Canada is holding its’ elections today.  Although I appreciate the sentimates of my Canadian supporters, I am urging Canadians not to write in Ahmnodt Heare in today’s election.

Vote for a Prime Minister who will welcome Anne Murray and William Shattner with open arms.  Soon after voting, write a letter to the U.S. Embassy in Ottawa and demand that you be allowed to vote for President of the United States.  Tell them that you are a member of the free world and that you should be entitled to vote for the leader of the free world.  If anyone asks who you would vote for, tell him or her, “Ahmnodt Heare!”

Threat from Iran

I don’t feel threatened from Iran like I do from Canada.  It wasn’t Iran that sent spies like William Shattner and Anne Murray to the United States and infiltrate American society.  Besides, I like Persian cats.